I know many people say that being a trans woman doesn't change your personality at all, but I can't help but wonder if that is only partially true. When in the world as a male, and having been socially forced to comply to gender norms and gender roles as a male, I know I'll change to an extent once I am in my proper gender presentation.

I'll be able to be my true female self, and I think I am starting at this time to really ask myself who I am as a woman. I'm asking what kind of personality is really me versus the male me, and all sorts of other questions under that umbrella of thinking. As a young presenting male in the male world who once openly acted female, and then starting feeling that female pull again in my young adulthood, I remember being more maternal and also more gentle, sporty, spunky, and just a fun, happy female on the inside.

I can't help but wonder now that I'm older, if I'll be able to still feel that or go back to it, or if I'll be a more mature 30 something woman with some traces of what I once felt so strongly.

Did any of my fellow ladies here ever go through this? If so, how did you change once you transitioned or prepared to transition? If not, why do you think you stayed the same in your personality and mannerisms? What were your various discovery processes like as you found yourselves? I'm looking forward to hearing from all of you!

Since I started transition, I have finally been able to be the real me. I quit watching my manerisms, and no longer try to act male. As a result, I am happier, and able to have a lot more fun. It turns out I am kinda bouncy. I just get excited over everything now. It is wonderful. I think it is the freedom that has "changed" me. The freedom to be honest with myself, and those around me. Unfortunately, I never tried to let go when younger, so I have nothing to compare it to. I am still kind of young, especially young at heart.

I would be utterly lying if I said transitioning did not change my personality to some extent.

Maybe those who advocate that you are not suppose to change your personality is because they want to keep the appearance that you always were a girl (MTF) and the only thing you changed in the process was your appearance?

Quote from: Dawn Heart on October 02, 2012, 03:43:48 PM
I know many people say that being a trans woman doesn't change your personality at all, but I can't help but wonder if that is only partially true.

Haven't transitioned yet, but I have had many experiences that have changed my personality. I am definitely not the same person I was twenty or even ten years ago.

Well, once my gender presentation is proper, I know I would do so many girly things, like squeal when I see a cute puppy or clap my hands really fast when I am happy. I don't think it's a change of personality so much as just me showing who I really am on the inside externally.

Being free to express emotions, is not really a change in personality. If you dislike carrots, you will still dislike carrots. If you hated quilting bees, you suddenly will not have a desire to make the world's largest quilt. What really makes you upset will still make you upset. The only difference is that you can now be yourself.

Quote from: Nathine on October 02, 2012, 09:21:34 PM
Being free to express emotions, is not really a change in personality. If you dislike carrots, you will still dislike carrots. If you hated quilting bees, you suddenly will not have a desire to make the world's largest quilt. What really makes you upset will still make you upset. The only difference is that you can now be yourself.

oh, my personality has changed. Trust me lol....and it's not a change in emotions

I guess I can't say for certain, but I really don't think I'll change much. I'm very introverted, so aside of general gender norms, I can't imagine expressing myself.

The biggest change I noticed was a negative one; the lack of any effort to suppress my feminine instincts.

There was a brief time (say, 2 months) where I went back-and-forth between male and female presentations...during the male I noticed a LOT of internal suppression going on, and people around me apparently didn't "see" me (they wouldn't greet me, acknowledge me, etc unless it was absolutely necessary)...but during the female days, I had NO suppression--not even suppressing the male elements, they just weren't there--and everyone was happy and initiating convos with me, eye contact, playfulness, etc.

Night and day, to be sure.

So, yeah. There was a difference, and it was a good one. 

I like to tell people I'm still the same person, I'm just changing the packaging and the label.

But, honestly, I have changed some. Even though my 'man act' was a complete fail, I have changed - I'm now free to express my emotions, I'm free to be me, without having to try and watch everything I say and do.

People who have known me for a long time claim I'm not really any different, apart from being happier - and able to express that happiness.

Hi,

I never found myself as female,   i allways have been born female with a male  make up that is part of who i am, not trans ether, intersexed, differences in hormones difference in how ones body is different than say a male or a female fully as one or the other,

My personaliy & some emotional & Psychological changes have taken place plus other changes & in what my own hormones have done  long before any meds or surgerys , remember i said intersex so for some of us changes can & do take place,

Ask Jos she has known me for 37 years   , we were married for 35 of those 37 years, & others knew about myself years ago .

I am... not... the same  person , my core self maybe . i know iv changed in so many different ways .

Had you seen & known me some 46 years ago & during the time since youd say with out a dought im nothing like i was,  trust me i lived it, & those around me go back 55 years, age 10, theres no comparison .

how im wired was as female nothing as male as youd expect from a male yes i worked under males taught by them yet i never related with or to them i did not understand them fact is... hated... being around them

Hated thier talk & what they did, so if any one says im a male then think again , i was percived as a male seen as a male i just did not fit was not a part of them.  nore could i be ,  so a loner is more what i was ,

try the no confindence no self worth was put down was not able to talk with people could not explain my self hated being in front of people let alone talk to them  , large groups of people i was all ways in the background,

I was a side drummer for the Navy  sang in choirs large & small so long as i was not by myself i got by.

To day iv been in front of 1000's of people talked to large groups been in the media T V & papers plus nation wide,  i have the confindence to i have no fear of doing that ,

so what happened what changed, way the turn  around, well i became a very strong woman i grow as one  if you like i was not a wimp any more, no one showed me what to do, or how,

I really did grow to my fullness as a female /woman . heres the interesting part. in my makeup there was a part of myself that was male not a lot yet enough to give me the strengh to get were i am now,

my point is with out my being intersex i dought very much i would have made it through. one miner detail is our grandchild was born at the time my own hormones kicked in for geting ready for my changes Psychologically Mentaly  & Emotionally ,

When Dejarn was born she keeped me alive, she keeped me vocused keeped me on coarse with out her,  yea well ..... ill not answer that one, ........dought id be writeing this.

To belittle some one because they are different  to say changes cant take place because they may not for others is not working through life  that others go through & thier changes are different in so many ways,

As i said my own hormones did more for me than any meds or drugs .

...noeleena...

I feel my personality has changed and not just my emotions. I have to qualify that in case it is more of how I deal with situations than a deep change in personality. I attend and chair lots of meetings, and I do find myself responding in a more feminine way than a masculine way. I'm more willing to argue my points in detail than to push with dominance. Males are far more likely to put up walls and argue 'it's my way or my way, which do you prefer?' I'm still a dominant personality but I'm far more likely to listen to opinions before I make my decision. I also treat people in a different manner and engage in talk.

Part of this may be due to being relaxed and confident, rather than being guarded.

I do also unashamedly use my female prerogatives to make a point. I had a meeting yesterday with a group of male engineers, one of whom I knew had very sexist opinions and attitude. I knew this from when I was male. So I did 'power' dress in smart feminine clothes.  I was  wearing knee length boots with 3 inch heels so I was around 6 foot and towered above him. He was obviously uncomfortable and found the situation difficult to adjust too. It ended up being a reactively short meeting and I met all of the objectives I wanted to.

I would certainly have not been able to project that personality and confidence when I pretended to be a guy.

So I'm not sure if that is a change in personality or 'just' a change in attitude and confidence.

Quote from: Brooke777 on October 02, 2012, 03:56:29 PM
Since I started transition, I have finally been able to be the real me. I quit watching my manerisms, and no longer try to act male. As a result, I am happier, and able to have a lot more fun. It turns out I am kinda bouncy. I just get excited over everything now. It is wonderful. I think it is the freedom that has "changed" me. The freedom to be honest with myself, and those around me. Unfortunately, I never tried to let go when younger, so I have nothing to compare it to. I am still kind of young, especially young at heart.

This sort of rings true for me too, I didn't really let go and embrace my inner woman until i reached acceptance and started transitioning. Even then, until I was full time I kept it on a leash. But what a feeling it was to finally be able to be me. I am woman here me RAWR! lol

All of your replies are really valuable! Thanks so much! I am at a place in my life where, since I am out to my therapist, and even just prior to that...I am starting to remember the girl I always was. I remember how I felt, how right it was, how peaceful I was inside. Over the years, life has changed, and I have changed with the times.

Some of those changes have been negative in that there has been real damage done due to all the stuffing away of this issue I did. I've truly been through hell because people saw something different about me, even though I was hiding it. It feels like what some of you have talked about when you got clocked somewhere. My heart was racing, anxiety and fear started surfacing, and I started making excuses to get away from whatever situation or whatever person.

I don't have to do that anymore, and although I have great clinical support, I can hear the accusatory voices of people from my past who abused and mistreated me. Add that to my own sense of self, and that inner voice that criticizes you. Talk about conflict and tension!!

Back before I started stuffing it all, and in the time I was able to innocently be myself; I was a happy, fun, growing girl. I had a brief time where I had sorta found that again in my early adult life, but that went to hell because of a certain situation that was really hurtful. Someone again had thrown it in my face. Back in the pile of forgotten things for this girl!

Being a male has never worked for me, I hate it and always have. I hate what I see when I look at myself. I am now looking forward to living as a woman, making good changes, living healthier, and coming up with ways to beat the fears and anxieties I have. Finding myself again means catching up and re-aquainting myself with those things I have always loved. It means changing back to my female persona that was so harshly and rudely interrupted.

I'm looking forward to looking nice, and being proud of who I see looking back at me. I'll become the happy, outgoing, fun, intelligent, laid back, thoughtful female I once was. 

Hormones are subtle and powerful, so I see no reason why they should not work together with the changes being able to truly express yourself can bring.  I am calmer now than I was before and react differently to situations that cause a strong reaction.  You could call it a personality change, but it is more a question of accentuating what was already there.

Karen.

I haven't been on HRT for very long, but I am very interested in finding out how my personality might change in the long run. I don't imagine I'll change much from the geek that I am, but you never know!