I've discovered through the small amount of fooling around with other guys that I've done that I really prefer not to "go all the way" with other guys. Mainly because I'm not a bottom at all and most of the other guys I've fooled around with seemed to be either size queens or could not deal with a fake dick. I do know that there are cis gay guys out there though that don't have those particular issues.

Quote from: Bostoncisguy on October 06, 2012, 11:00:32 PM
Well, I don't have anything quite as interesting or inspiring to say since I'm just a bio guy and I like guys and some girls (mostly lesbians, go figure).  So I'll just admit to something that few people remember about me as a kid.  I asked for AND got a Barbie doll when I turned 8...yep...oh and I totally had a My Little Pony as well...and at the same time I played with Transformers and Matchbox cars.

Pssssh. Everyone's got a cool story!

My grandfather used to buy me just about everything, so I had lots of TMNT stuff and I had about a million toy horses. He used to let me dress him up all the time, and I liked to dress him as a princess pirate cowboy. I played with just about anything when I was kid - I had one crazy imagination. Though, I used to perform surgery on my barbie dolls by putting them under stair legs and jumping on them until their chests broke so I could put her in Ken's clothes. 

Quote from: insideontheoutside on October 07, 2012, 01:12:16 AM
I do know that there are cis gay guys out there though that don't have those particular issues.

<-----Ummmm....this guy!  I'm not a top and I don't mind silicone or size.  In fact, I was beginning to get so attached to my ex, I now miss him so much, even random things like how his manhood felt against me...hope that wasn't too graphic!

 I was always one of the boys even when I was a girl it was pretty cool. I sorta knew I was trans a long long time ago but wouldn't accept it till the last few years. I grew up in a catholic family first generation American so they were all pretty set in their old ways. I remember before coming out as trans or anything, when I was 13 during thanksgiving dinner no less my brother was saying a lot of homophobic slurs and rants. I simply asked him what would he do if he found out i also liked women and he said he would never talk to me again he didn't up till this year which now I am 22. Now I am mostly out as trans to my family but I have been living on my own since 14.5-15 yrs old so their are a lot who just simply don't know what I do. I only recently have I really started to explore the idea that I might actually be able to be with a guy as a guy because when I was exploring back in high school it didn't go so well. Now I am re-exploring and realized that I might actually be bi not just into women. 

My dad was away on a business trip when my boyfriend broke up with me.  We were only dating for a little over a month and I didn't want to tell him too soon and jinx things.  As soon as he came home, I told him everything and he was very understanding and it didn't even phase him that my ex was trans, not that it should, but you know, people don't always react positively to everything.

BTW Traivs, how did you manage to live on your own at such a young age?  Don't take this the wrong way, but I feel bad that you felt like you had to move out.

got kicked out of my dad's(i didn't do any of the things he claimed btw) and my mom left town it wasn't really by choice but being the person i am and having dominantly older friends i was able to find a roommate pretty easy since I was not old enough to sign the lease myself. I feel it just gives me more life experiences, I don't feel bad about it or feel other people should feel bad for me I got to do what every teen wanted to be free and take responsibility for my actions and learn my own lessons first hand.

Well, as long as you have no regrets that's cool.  It's important to have good friends who can help you out.

Yeah good friends are important and stick with you no matter how much you change i am lucky to have several of those

I thought I was gay up until I was like 14 when I realized I'd been crushing on most of the girls who were my best friends at some point.
I was actually really relieved to be bi because for some weird reason I was super depressed thinking I was gay and that it was way worse to be both trans and gay. Idk why I thought that hahah, cus being straight wouldn't make anything any easier.

Just wanted to say that I have been away from this post for a few days and can't believe what I have missed.

I didn't know that there were dating sites just for transmen, so thank you so much for sharing that Natkat. I have a partner and he is very accepting of me so I am not looking for anyone, but that is definitely a wonderful resource for the community. I agree the payment requirement sucks, but it's awesome that those sites are now available and hopefully there will be more in the future, possibly run by ad revenue rather than payments.

-----

Boston I just wanted to say two things: first off, you rock for accepting your dude as he is and it's a shame that he was so insecure that it couldn't work out. Second, there actually are a lot of transguys out there who are secure in the fact that people can be just as attracted to them as a cisguy and more so. Not everyone is that comfortable and it may take some searching, but good for you to keep looking and not let one unsuccessful relationship steer you away from other transmen.


Oh and  I don't think anyone would be offended by the idea that you'd help your partner with paying for surgery. In fact, most guys I have talked to would welcome something like that I am getting top surgery in a week and I was lucky to find a super cheap Dr who is confident enough in his abilities to state that if I needed revisions, they would be free. Bottom surgery is a whole 'nother ball field though. I think a lot of people can appreciate the difference between true help and throwing money at them. After all, someone who insists on expensive dinners and gifts and vacations all the time would seem maybe like they're desperate for you to like them, but I don't think any dude would be offended if their partner tried to help them with, say, reconstructive surgery after an illness or accident, and with the way most of us think of our bodies, we do consider transition to be just as necessary as any other insured medical care so it's not really seen as frivolous.

-----

I have always known I was attracted to guys. Never been into girls in that way. TBH I was sort of promiscuous when I was younger, which got me into a lot of trouble. After all, they expect that sort of thing from guys only, and my family was not accepting of my gender, so they acted like it was the end of the world. I was always very comfortable getting intimate with people and I like to bottom, so PIV sex was never something that triggered dysphoria in me.

I dressed in big baggy shorts with tall white socks or in baggy ripped up jeans and wore a lot of wifebeaters and t-shirts, not really girly stuff, and I wore a baseball hat every single day. Always I would be in a relationship and then later find out the guy was gay or bisexual, which I didn't mind except for one guy who decided he couldn't be with me (both of us like to bottom), so that was disheartening.

I had always wanted to feel right in my body, and believed in reincarnation because I saw myself as a guy stuck in the wrong body. To this day I still see reincarnation as a possibility, although I feel a lot happier and better as I am transitioning, less of the distressed and hopeless thoughts that I used to have when I thought I would only be happy in my next life. I am seeing just how good life can be. Aside from the fact that I have a health problem (reproductive organs but hopefully fixed soon) and am going to need one more surgery to feel like a 'normal' guy, life does get better and I am seeing more of that good side all the time. Except when dealing with insurance companies. Then it just sucks 

Oh my God, good luck, ChaoticTribe!  And thanks for backing me up!  So, I met a guy on a regular every day site, and we're going on a date within the next week.  I hope he's more mature than my ex, and since he's had top surgery, he is probably more comfortable and confident about himself.  ->-bleeped-<-, he has a topless pic of himself.  Anyway, I think I'm gonna delete my profile pic because I don't want to give the impression that I'm a ->-bleeped-<- if he's on here.  Oh one thing I've noticed when I came across other trans men on that mainstream site is that they often say in their profile that they're trans.  This guy doesn't mention it at all, and he's got a pic of himself scars and all, which implies to me that he knows he's a guy and doesn't have to label himself as a trans guy or a short guy or an American guy--just a guy looking to meet other guys.  Wish me luck!  We have been texting back and forth and he seems like a nice guy who has his head on his shoulders and has ambition.

Quote from: sneakersjay on October 05, 2012, 07:03:42 AM
I am of trans history, but I'm just a regular guy with a small penis and a few extra scars.

God I love this.

Quote from: Bostoncisguy on October 11, 2012, 09:06:09 PM
Oh my God, good luck, ChaoticTribe!  And thanks for backing me up!  So, I met a guy on a regular every day site, and we're going on a date within the next week.  I hope he's more mature than my ex, and since he's had top surgery, he is probably more comfortable and confident about himself.  ->-bleeped-<-, he has a topless pic of himself.  Anyway, I think I'm gonna delete my profile pic because I don't want to give the impression that I'm a ->-bleeped-<- if he's on here.  Oh one thing I've noticed when I came across other trans men on that mainstream site is that they often say in their profile that they're trans.  This guy doesn't mention it at all, and he's got a pic of himself scars and all, which implies to me that he knows he's a guy and doesn't have to label himself as a trans guy or a short guy or an American guy--just a guy looking to meet other guys.  Wish me luck!  We have been texting back and forth and he seems like a nice guy who has his head on his shoulders and has ambition.

You're welcome, and thanks a whole bunch! I agree it is definitely a good sign for his self confidence that he's posted a topless pic of himself. Shows he is okay and even happy with that part of his body at least

As for mentioning trans-ness, everyone has a different idea about it. Me personally, on a non-dating site, I wouldn't mention it unless it were somehow relevant to friendships, as here. On a dating site however guys who DO mention have their own reasons: some of them, like me, are not willing to waste time 'weeding out' guys who only care about one thing: the other dude's penis. Especially those of us who like PIV sex (me included) and even prefer that type of intercourse.

Other guys may mention being trans to avoid the awkwardness and hurt that sometimes occurs when people get close to you and you bond enough to be really hurt by rejection when they care more about what's between your legs than you as a person. Some other people may have been assaulted in the past, or perhaps they just like to mention it out in the open because 'coming out' is always awkward, but meeting people online you can get that out of the way to begin with and avoid those late nights staying up and being anxious.

I think of myself as just any other guy, and I expect to be treated that way in public, but when looking for a relationship sexual compatibility is very important to me and while I will be more comfortable with my genitals once I get a metoidioplasty, I am not at all uncomfortable having a vagina and would be very displeased if I ended up loving someone who was just awkward or uncomfortable about that part of my body, even if we could still make it work somehow. I would way rather date someone who was turned on and into it, even to the point of a fetish, as long as they still were in a *relationship* with me and not just there for sex.

Quote from: ChaoticTribe on October 19, 2012, 06:32:21 PM
...some of them, like me, are not willing to waste time 'weeding out' guys who only care about one thing: the other dude's penis. Especially those of us who like PIV sex (me included) and even prefer that type of intercourse.

I think of myself as just any other guy, and I expect to be treated that way in public, but when looking for a relationship sexual compatibility is very important to me and while I will be more comfortable with my genitals once I get a metoidioplasty, I am not at all uncomfortable having a vagina and would be very displeased if I ended up loving someone who was just awkward or uncomfortable about that part of my body, even if we could still make it work somehow. I would way rather date someone who was turned on and into it, even to the point of a fetish, as long as they still were in a *relationship* with me and not just there for sex.

I'm going to address this from the other direction as a gay cis guy. I remember more than one post here where guys said they didn't want to date a guy who was only interested in what's between their legs. But if a guy is only interested in vaginas, wouldn't he just date women?

Surely the overwhelming majority of all men out there (and women too), gay or straight, have a preference for certain genitals, i.e. for straight guys a vagina, for gay guys a penis. But if a gay guy dares to express a preference for vaginas and PIV sex with another guy, it seems he's immediately judged as a fetishist. If anything, it makes more sense to call the penis-obsessed guys fetishists. All preferences are valid, of course, but, after all, preferring a vagina when you have a penis or preferring a penis when you have a vagina seems fairly mainstream. My sexual orientation seems to be about everything else that defines manhood and it just seems weird to me when other people make it about genitals. That's fine and valid, but it's just not something I can relate to personally.

I've only ever dated cis guys and I've learned to like a penis, but I feel like that evolves out of necessity--a matter of being innovative and finding things to do when you and the person you're attracted to both have the same thing. And ultimately what turns me on about a penis is that it's the most obvious means of giving pleasure to my partner which is obviously pretty important in sex.

Quote from: dalebert on October 20, 2012, 01:15:32 PMI remember more than one post here where guys said they didn't want to date a guy who was only interested in what's between their legs.

By "here" I mean on this forum, not this particular thread.

Quote from: dalebert on October 20, 2012, 01:15:32 PM
I'm going to address this from the other direction as a gay cis guy. I remember more than one post here where guys said they didn't want to date a guy who was only interested in what's between their legs. But if a guy is only interested in vaginas, wouldn't he just date women?

Surely the overwhelming majority of all men out there (and women too), gay or straight, have a preference for certain genitals, i.e. for straight guys a vagina, for gay guys a penis. But if a gay guy dares to express a preference for vaginas and PIV sex with another guy, it seems he's immediately judged as a fetishist. If anything, it makes more sense to call the penis-obsessed guys fetishists. All preferences are valid, of course, but, after all, preferring a vagina when you have a penis or preferring a penis when you have a vagina seems fairly mainstream. My sexual orientation seems to be about everything else that defines manhood and it just seems weird to me when other people make it about genitals. That's fine and valid, but it's just not something I can relate to personally.

I've only ever dated cis guys and I've learned to like a penis, but I feel like that evolves out of necessity--a matter of being innovative and finding things to do when you and the person you're attracted to both have the same thing. And ultimately what turns me on about a penis is that it's the most obvious means of giving pleasure to my partner which is obviously pretty important in sex.

^^^This. Thanks.

Even in TG communities, I've encountered the cissexist idea that it is "normal" and "expected" for someone to like their women with vulvas and their guys with penises, but if it's the other way around they're perverts or fetishists or "->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s" - especially if they are cis.
The fact is, some people are only/more attracted to people who have a certain set of genitalia, some people are only/more attracted to people of a certain gender identity, and some people are only/more attracted to people with a specific combination of gender identity and genitalia. And there's nothing wrong with it. It's only a fetish if it's a creepy obsession or if one sees the people they are attracted to as nothing more but sex objects.

I'm trans, I'm rather content with what I've got between my legs, and I'm tired of hearing that we shouldn't date someone who likes us in part because of what we have down there, but instead someone who likes us despite of it.

I sure as hell don't want to date someone who sees some or all of my body as a flaw but likes me despite of it. I want someone who loves everything about me, and I deserve nothing less.

Nicely put. Yeah I had a gay friend who completely freaked when I told him I was trans. Not at all what I expected though maybe I should have. Still it hurt big time. Thing is: he is actually the exception to the rule. A lot of guys are a lot less absolute in that area it seems I just haven't met a whole lot of them lol. As for what's between the legs.. it's not just FtMs that have self image issues dealing with small packages.. that too seems fairly common.. I think Natkat said it better than I could.. if you have a small package (cis or trans alike) a large assortment of toys makes a big difference.. 

I think my tendency to end up with smaller and/or pretty guys, even before I knew I was trans, may be why I've seemingly "turned them gay/bi".  I think I picked up on the covert "not straight" vibes, and they picked up on the "not female" ones, but it never ends up working in the end.  For the moment, as I'm pre-T and pre-op (and likely to remain this way indefinitely unless the waiting list situation around here eases up), I'm just not actively dating.  I have a mostly-straight-but-bi-enough friend with benefits when necessary, though.  The amount of hate I've seen towards gay transguys on the internet (comments section on Queerty is always a good place to find it) scares the hell out of me, though, leaves me convinced I'll find myself a bloody pulp in the gutter should I ever manage to pass and then hit on a cisguy.

I figured out I was gay before I figured out I was trans.  That led to some confusion, because while I knew I wasn't into women (though I thought I *should* be -> how most boys are socially conditioned that they're expected to like women + gay with a female body = everyone expects you to bring home a girlfriend...), "straight" just didn't really fit, though I did give it a fair try, I think.

I've been trying to figure out how to put this into words lol..
I recently got a picture of myself when I was somewhere between two and three. I insisted on "boy" underwear because I was a boy. Now I am not "out" so this story was told to me as a funny anecdote. When did I figure out I'm trans? Somewhere along the way the boy underwear got replaced with girls underwear. I probably sort of figured it out then.
Gay. It always makes me feel bad that I have such a vivid imagination. The role I wanted sexually pretty much is very hard to do with either a straight guy or a gay girl (they're unlikely to be interested in that). I figured it out quicker than some other things, but it takes a bit to get past shy. I grew up feeling like a freak. That makes it hard to be anything other than socially awkward.. still working on that.. anyone else?