Mom wonders about son's gender identity
Posted by Barbara F. Meltz  October 10, 2012 06:00 AM

http://www.boston.com/community/moms/blogs/child_caring/2012/10/mom_wonders_abo.html

I read your article about boys who have strong preference playing with girls, but my question goes further, my 6yo is also interested in playing only with girls and quiet play, this less concerns me, what bothers me is that he always says he wants to be a girl and wished he had a magic wand to change his body parts to a girl, this has been since he was very little and hasn't changed, he also says he wished he could put lipstick and eyeshadow, he never tried to dress up as a girl and he does like some boys things, not many though. Should I be concerned that he might be a transgender? or could this be just a phase?

From: Worried Mom, West Hartford, CT

Dear Worried Mom,

The article you refer to, "A 6-year-old boy wants to play only with girls," says pretty clearly that, at this young age, a child's preference for playmates may simply reflect the activities the boy enjoys. But you're describing more than play preferences so.

Child development has long held that awareness of gender identity begins at young ages and it involves what psychologists call "core identity" -- the inner feeling you have about whether you are male or female, regardless of your physical identity.

I strongly agree with the first comment. The columnist (who advises the mom to do research) hasn't done much herself. She doesn't seem to understand the difference between being gay and transgendered.