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Help with being more feminine?

Started by EmilyMI, October 11, 2012, 02:58:40 PM

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EmilyMI

I was diagnosed with GID quite a while ago. I have been on HRT for almost three years. I still work as a guy sadly but I want to go into the direction of going full-time. My question is that I KNOW I want to live my life as a Woman - I never stop thinking about this. I watch how Woman walk, talk and watch their mannerisms at work all the time, but I just can't get it down to where it all just becomes natural for me? I honestly just have an incredible hard time being more feminine with everything I seem to try. I have recently had a speech therapist to help me with my voice and I have some of that down with using more inflection when talking but since I still work as a guy it is hard to keep practicing this. Any help/recommendations on what I might try to help me with improving this? Thank you in advance...
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Brooke777

There is another thread about mannerisms that might have some good pointers. The best thing I could say would be to just relax and be yourself. Let the real you shine through and you will be the woman you are supposed to be. If you try too hard you will just be fake.
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EmilyMI

Quote from: Brooke777 on October 11, 2012, 03:02:29 PM
There is another thread about mannerisms that might have some good pointers. The best thing I could say would be to just relax and be yourself. Let the real you shine through and you will be the woman you are supposed to be. If you try too hard you will just be fake.

Do you happen to know the thread? I did search for it but could not find anything? I searched the keyword Mannerisms but just shown this thread and another about voice tips. 
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Kevin Peña

I would just say to stop TRYING. Just do whatever comes naturally and I'm sure it'll be more feminine. When I let loose, everyone calls me girly, so I can say that things come subconsciously, at least for me.
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Apples Mk.II

Quote from: EmilyMI on October 11, 2012, 02:58:40 PM
since I still work as a guy it is hard to keep practicing this. Any help/recommendations on what I might try to help me with improving this? Thank you in advance...[/font][/size]




Nothing better that anonymous talkers...



Or even better, play Team Fortress 2 or any other online game that requires teamwork and talking a lot. I don't do it myself for voice, but I try to use it as general practise to improve my speech (spent too much time working in front of a computer and your communication skis will athrophy) and win confidence over talking to strangers.
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Annah

Quote from: EmilyMI on October 11, 2012, 03:12:53 PM
Do you happen to know the thread? I did search for it but could not find anything? I searched the keyword Mannerisms but just shown this thread and another about voice tips.

I really disagreed with that thread...it's not a good idea trying to emulate female mannerisms artificially. Many things on this list (a vasto majority on the things on that list) was feminine stereotypes that I see more dragqueens do than genetic women. Doing many of those things on that list will get you clocked. I've seen it happen. And DianaP is right.

My advice to you is just observe the people around you and take notice of their body language, how they talk, etc.

If you believe through and through you are a woman, these things will come naturally to you with practice. The key is to be natural. The lists on that previous thread was not only unnatural (never seen girls do what that list said girls do), it was stereotypical observations and it felt like a dragqueen entertainment checklist.
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Carbon

Quote from: Annah on October 19, 2012, 01:47:26 PM
I really disagreed with that thread...it's not a good idea trying to emulate female mannerisms artificially. Many things on this list (a vasto majority on the things on that list) was feminine stereotypes that I see more dragqueens do than genetic women. Doing many of those things on that list will get you clocked. I've seen it happen. And DianaP is right.

My advice to you is just observe the people around you and take notice of their body language, how they talk, etc.

If you believe through and through you are a woman, these things will come naturally to you with practice. The key is to be natural. The lists on that previous thread was not only unnatural (never seen girls do what that list said girls do), it was stereotypical observations and it felt like a dragqueen entertainment checklist.

I feel like trans women are just ridiculous sometimes. I think I saw something on tsroadmap where they said women used feminine words like "scrumptious." I can't imagine non ironically saying that something is "scrumptious." And so many trans women are like "it's my first time doing make up can you give me advice" and there's this glaring red lipstick that hardly anyone their age actually wears, why is red lipstick the go to lipstick.   

I do some of the things on that list, like I've always been more comfortable crossing my legs. I also used to get told that I walked like a girl when I was a kid and I've been trying to allow myself to walk more like that recently, which has actually helped my balance some. Apparently I was walking that way for a reason. Some things I do aren't stereotypically feminine at all and might even be considered masculine. If you do everything possible associated with femininity you are just going to look ridiculous, same as if you had saw a story with a character who was a ridiculous "manly man."

Also some people are going to see us as masculine no matter what we do if they know we are trans. I saw a cis woman say that she saw a trans woman hunched over playing video games and thought that the trans woman seemed pretty masculine before realizing that she was also generally "masculine" by that kind of standard.
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Carbon

Quote from: charlie on November 13, 2012, 12:08:49 PM
Gaston from Beauty and the Beast is the perfect example of a manly man. Someone do it! jk :D

Gaston has biceps to spare if anyone wants them (Me too actually). He said it in a song!

That's actually a pretty good example- I had forgotten about gaston- although instead of being totally ridiculous Gaston just ends up coming accross like an ->-bleeped-<-. Whereas, say, Johnny Bravo (to use another cartoon character) doesn't come accross as espicially bad natured, just really silly. I remember a scene where his mother asked him to hold underwear she was buying in a department store so she could go to the bathroom. Johnny Bravo tried to object but his mother insisted so he ended up awkwardly explaining that he was "Just holding them"  to everyone who walked by. Related stereotype is the "bro dude" stereotype in more recent times.

The best example of something like this coming from the female side is Elle from legally blond, which is interesting because her entire character is basically either supporting or subverting gender stereotypes. The movie starts off showing Elle getting dressed, putting on make up, etc... basically "performing femininity" in a way that is usually used to suggest that a character is fake/artificial/an airhead, roughly the same way trans women are usually portrayed actually. But then it turns out that she actually hard working, intelligent, etc and she has just applied these traits to things like fashion design in the past. Then the climatic scene at the end Elle walks into a court room in a pink dress ready to defend her client and the message is that, rather than being artificial, this who Elle is and when she is the most authentic, effective, and genuine. Rather than being effective in spite of it, she's effective because of it.

If you watch the "the bend and snap" on youtube one thing you'll see is a lot of people saying "lol girls don't ever try this" and stuff like that. What people are missing is that they're taking something women actually do and exaggerating it to the point that it's ridiculous (kind of like the whole rest of the movie). Of course no one would try to do what they're doing in the movie and of course flipping one's hair is a flirty thing many women do even subconsciously.
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lissabuchannon

I can understand why the original poster asked this.....because I've been asked by people out in the wild how I move so much like a  girl......my reply is that I AM a girl. I just don't think about how to move, how to walk.....best advice is don't think about it and just be yourself. That being said, if you're the kind of person, like i was, who would have to stop themselves moving a certain way when in boy mode, then just stop trying not to move like that, and that's the answer :)
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