Hey there!

I've been lurking since June this year and have finally plucked up the courage to register and start interacting.

It's hardly surprising that it's taken me so long to register; I've known I'm trans* since age 19 but it took me until age 40 to give myself permission to be true to myself. I'm currently a pre-everything FtM with a formal diagnosis from my local Mental Health team, languishing on the waiting list for treatment at the Gender Clinic in London. Oh, and I'm married (to a straight man - whoops!) with two daughters, which somewhat complicates matters.

Susan's has helped keep me sane over the past few months and I'm grateful for this ship and those who sail on her. I'm looking forward to getting to know you guys better.

Hi and welcome, good to hear your voice .

Nice to hear from you too! I've found some of your posts to be very inspirational and/or entertaining during my lurks.

Oh, ta . It's good to lurk before you leap, but I'm glad you're leaping. We need to up the Brit presence on here (just you wait, any minute now someone here will be throwing tea in your harbour...)

Bless them, they never could make the tea right, could they? 

Welcome to the board!  I started transitioning at 40 -- so there are some older folks around here.

Good luck on the journey!

Tea time! Hi and welcome from Boston, home to the words largest cup of tea. Some call it Boston Harbour! Glad you found the site, hugs, Devlyn

Welcome....

I too started my journey earlier this year at 40. I'm married and have a family a wifeband and a daughter. It's true having a family does complicate matters, but things sometimes can work out for the best.

~Rea

Hi FTMDiaries,

Welcome to our little family. Over 8447 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another brother.

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Janet 

Thanks for the warm welcome, everyone!

I'm very glad you decided to de-lurk. I've already read your other posts, and I find a number of similarities between us. I was a little older than you when I found out that FTM transsexuals exist--and when I figured out that that's what I was--but, like you, I just tried to live with myself as I was. I waited a long time to transition. I was an expert at compartmentalizing and avoiding.

Aren't we all...

I hope your NHS process is as fast and as painless as possible. Some of our guys have really been through the mill with them but are surviving and thriving.

Welcome to the site!

Thanks Arch! 

I figured it out when I was 19 when I read an article about Caroline Cossey, who was being given a lot of hassle by the media at the time. I had no idea that FtMs existed but I recognised Caroline's story as being almost exactly the same as mine (albeit from the opposite direction) so I figured out that this must happen with people born female too.

The first FtM I ever heard about was Buck Angel, around 6 years ago. But I was so deep in denial that I didn't want to dare dream that I could make the same changes to my life. Well, apart from becoming a porn star, that is. 

It's weird, but I've heard from a number of FTMs who knew about MTFs but didn't realize that it could go both ways. There just weren't any visible FTMs back then, and for some reason, our brains didn't take the logical leap.

Or maybe we did make the leap but were afraid to think about it.

I knew about Renee Richards, Jan Morris, and Christine Jorgenson by the time I started college, and I never made the connection with myself. I didn't realize what I was until I read a horrible book about it.

Hi there and welcome to Susan's. Glad that you're here.

Welcome. 42 here and looking to start transitioning next year so add me to the rolls of the more "seasoned" crowd. 

Hello.  It maybe late in life for you to realize the real you on the inside.  Now that you have the freedom and peace it will bring is well worth the journey.