Hello!
I am taraignota's partner (she made her first post back in February, but hasn't been as active on the forums as I had hoped she would be once she had worked up the courage to make the account, but I am still proud of her for trying), and I am finally able to get excited about our upcoming wedding. Previously, I had simply viewed it as a legalization of our union, which would not really have any effect on our relationship. Planning it has been rather a chore, but Tara has finally committed to coming out to our parents once the wedding is over, and I am excited that we will finally have the ability to move forward with her journey toward accepting herself. When she came out to me, I was excited because I could see how relieved she was that she wouldn't have to hide anything from me, and that she would have someone to support her through any life changes. I am excited to get the really scary event over with so we can really make a start on adjusting our relationship with our family and friends.
I am also excited because I know that the uncertainty of parental responses is the biggest hindrance to Tara's happiness, and has been for a long time. I don't know for sure how any of our parents will react, but I know that certainty will make things better. Over the summer she passed her qualifying exams for her doctorate, and now we can begin to see where the future is going to take us.
I have also noticed that most of the posts in the forums are about negative experiences and fears, and I wonder whether there aren't very many SOs who don't have many negative feelings about their partners being transgender, or if there is simply a biased view because people just don't post unless they have a problem or are afraid of something. Am I spoiled in my positive outlook on things? I mean, I know that there will be some fallout from the whole thing because society has taught people that inclusiveness is right, unless someone is different than you, but I really feel like everything got better once Tara realized that she was not a straight man, and I feel like everything keeps getting better as she becomes more comfortable with herself. Perhaps I am looking at this from a foolish perspective, but I feel like things can only improve once Tara can become fully comfortable with herself and share that with the people that are important to her.
So, with happy thoughts,
Owl
