Well, I have a doctor's appointment in three weeks. I am planning on coming out to my doctor and asking her what I have to do to get on T. I have two questions to ask about this:
1. Part of the reason I'm nervous is because I don't know what to say. How does one tell the doctor who met them while presenting female that one is actually a guy and wants to transition?
2. Although right now I feel like I want to be on T right now, I understand that I can't really look at this objectively right now. Am I moving too fast? I only realized I was guy during the past year. I've been living as much as a male as I can since February (I can't pass). I've also been gradually coming out and, although I don't shout it from the rooftops or anything and my ex still doesn't know, I'm pretty much out. I've considered the risks involved with my son's custody. I've been researching what transition would and could entail. I've been talking to a gender therapist who supports my decision to transition. Every step towards this has made me feel happy. On the other hand, I still have days when I'm not sure. I panicked a bit after I made the appointment, for example. So... Am I moving too fast?

(My doctor's appointment is just so I can ask what I need to do to get on T so I can get the ball rolling. I know it will take time and some hoops to jump through before I can start.
I am also aware that T won't solve all my problems (obviously) although I do believe it might help with shyness. I also know that I may never look like a guy, but I figure it's worth trying anyway. After all, I'll never know if I don't try.)

1) I would just tell your doctor that you are trans* and want to start hormone replacement therapy. If they have questions they will ask.
2) Only you know if you are moving too fast. If you feel it is the right speed for you, then you are doing good. It is natural to feel some anxiety and apprehension. Don't worry too much about it. Just listen to yourself, and take your cues from there.

Edge, your doctor owes it to you to give you the best care, regardless of whether you are trans or not. It is up to them to treat you no matter how you tell them. Your own words, "I'm  trans* and want to start hormone replacement therapy" says it as well as any.

Are you ready for hormones? I don't know of course, and I don't know you except through a few hundred Susan's posts. But based on what I've read from you, I will say this:

You are probably one of the most contemplative, introspective, careful people here. You know yourself well, your battles with BPD, your bad and good choices involving your ex, your reactions to trauma suffered in your past. You're a reader and a thinker and you know the pros and cons of T - It's a one way journey but it has the power to transform.

If ANYONE is capable of deciding whether hormones are right for them, it would be you.

Good luck, Edge. My thoughts are with you.

If you feel like you're moving too fast, pull back a little. There's no rush. No race. You're young, but you have the same factors to consider as many of our older members - a child, an ex to deal with, etc. And as someone diagnosed with BPD, you should be 9999.9% sure it's ruled out as a phase or feature of the condition.

Oh! I forgot to mention BPD has been ruled out. I'm still in remission (and most likely to remain in remission). It's been about four and a half years now and things have been especially healthy during this past year. Woohoo!

I was in the same boat with my primary care doctor.  I had been seeing her for five years and presented as a lesbian.  She was cool with that.  I told her I was trans and wanted to start hormones.  She gave me the name of the doctor in her practice that worked with trans patients and prescribed medication. She was not comfortable prescribing T to me b/c she had no experience.  She got me a referal and I saw the doctor fairly quickly.

Her treatment of me -- I am one of two trans patients she sees -- has been great.  She had her nurses and staff refer to me as male and use my prefered name before I legally changed it.  She also is very respectful -- she said I didn't have to have my mamagram until I scheduled my top surgery (I turned 40 this year).  She also doesn't make me take my binder off during visits. 

My advice is: Seek out a counselor/therapist in your area that is known to work with transgender people. Have one or two sessions with him/her and he should be able to recommend you to a doctor who has experience with this process, and with his blessing (assuming he concludes that you are not deluded or "crazy). Transitioning and surgery are complicated, and, at least when I transitioned, the Benjamin Standards must be followed. You can't just say "Ok, I'm transgendered. Put me on hormones." Doctors need evidence from a fellow professional that you are truly a candidate for this process.