Chemical Hell. I realized something was very very wrong, and I was deeply ashamed of my thoughts and feelings, because I realized how much things did not match up. Early puberty (11 years old), I kind of figured things out fully, and things got worse as time went by, and I felt worse and worse.
I HATED it.
But beyond puberty, my twenties, was even worse. T did most of its damage there.
I think most people who are trans could not stand puberty. That is why if you are not fully early on (Age 3-7), it is likely you will be fully aware at the early in the onset of puberty(10-13). From what I heard conscious awareness of gender identity happens during those two periods. I will not say there was not issues with me during earlier in childhood, it is just the full knowledge of my gender identity did not come until early in puberty. So puberty for me was a living chemical hell.
Hopefully things go better the second time round