I went in today being confident and everything. I told her I would like the letter of recommendation. Well then she brought my mom in and the session was over and she didn't mention the letter. So I told her what about the letter. She said she doesn't really know anything about this letter and isn't quite sure what it is. That it would be breaking the confidentiality thing. But she said she would have to have me sign a form of consent and then that she'd have to talk to the endocrinologist and make sure what he needs and see if she's even qualified to do this...

I have been seeing her since June/July. She has known I have wanted to be on T from day one. And now she comes with this? I just feel like she should have been up front with me that she had no clue what she was doing. And to top it of she's a psychiatrist. The last time I saw her she said I didn't even need to see her anymore. That I should just make an appointment next time I needed to talk. I thoguht maybe this was a test. Nope. She was just going to leave me hanging. How the HELL was I supposed to transition then?

I'm so pissed. My mom said she was going to get me the appointment with the endo and to be positive that more than likely everything will work out and this therapy wasn't for nothing but I feel like I have been betrayed by this woman.

Look for a different therapist, or look for an endo that will do informed consent.

If you go to the endo or someone and ask for T they'll probably say that you need a letter, ask for that in writing and then go back to your therapist and hopefully that'll be enough to get her to go past whatever 'confidentiality' issues she has, especially if you tell her that she has your -- and your mothers -- permission. It's your information, it should be up to you how confidential it stays.

I had to sign a release so my therapist could write my letters. I also have to write the letters for her to ensure they have all the information I want them to have. Some therapists are not well acquainted with writing these types of letters. If a therapist full fills my emotional needs, I have no issues helping them with the legal aspects. Then again, I have quite a bit of legal training.

Quote from: Andy8715 on October 16, 2012, 04:13:18 PM
Look for a different therapist, or look for an endo that will do informed consent.

That's what I did. My therapist was being difficult about T so I found an endo and did informed consent.

I'd say informed consent too.


--Jay J

I also would be so pissed off i wouldn't be able to see straight!!! But I am also completely confused. She is an MD - She went through a psychiatric residency, right???  Then she has NO excuse not to know every single Diagnosis in the DSM IV-TR!!!! This person is supposed to be trained!!! OK - She should probably know the code numbers also, but I would be willing to cut she some slack.  If she is not familiar with working with trans folks ( DMS  - GID ) she needed to send you to someone else. Period. Everyone is entitled to have areas of "interest", but if this isn't hers - then she should have referred you.
Find an endo who just needs a letter stating you have no pathology, and have her write the letter and be done with it.  My therapist stated that most endo's she works with just want to know that a pt. has not underlying mental health issues and is mentally capable to start treatment.

Good luck

This sort of thing just depresses me. Is she backpedaling, or has she been stringing you along for all these months? I guess it doesn't matter; now you have to push for what you want. I'm not sure how you file a complaint against a psychiatrist, but I hope you do, once you get what you need.

I have a friend who was f***ed over royally by his therapist, but he didn't want to make trouble for her, so he just left things as they were. A year later, I talked to a woman with a trans son, a minor. They had had a bad experience with the same therapist, so they stopped going to her right away. For all I know, the therapist is still merrily messing with people's heads...I hope someone has reported her.

From my research, a therapist doesn't have to be a "specialist" so long as they are licensed. I had this problem with my old therapist when I was first trying to get on T, and ended up just going to my clinic's licensed psychiatrist to be diagnosed officially. It took me two sessions with her*, and then she gave me my letters for T and top surgery. The clinic itself practiced informed consent, but because I was on the younger side of things, they were wary of giving me T. Ah well, I have it now and I'm actually doing fine. Even though the process took six months or so, it gave me time to think more seriously and look into what I wanted to do for my own health. Sometimes these delays can be beneficial for you in the long run. At least, that's what I like to tell myself when something goes wrong. Panicking makes it hard to rationalize and make your next move.

I know it's what everyone here is suggesting, but if you're older than 18, you might have more luck with an endocrinologist** who practices informed consent. Call around, and be up front with what you're looking for. It can't hurt to try, at this point. You need what you need, after all. And if you can't find someone who practices informed consent who's willing to treat a trans person, then I would suggest looking into a new therapist and being really firm about what you are looking for. You were up front from the start with this one, which is good! Sometimes you just get people who are afraid to write letters should you regret medically transitioning and end up blaming them.

*If you have documented history of trans-related issues, some therapists and psychiatrists will move faster on writing letters and diagnosing you, which can be helpful. The psychiatrist I saw read history from my old therapists, reports from my school for misbehavior relating to the issue, and even spoke to my mother(who is thankfully supportive) to make sure everything was clear and well-defined.

**Endos aren't the only people who can prescribe you testosterone, btw. General practitioners who are knowledgeable can prescribe it to you or refer you to someone who can help you, and to my knowledge, some psychiatrists have the ability to prescribe it for you. Don't feel hopeless if you can't find an endocrinologist, and keep looking.

I'm convinced that some portion of gender therapists are just there to prove to trans people that they really are not trans. They are against trans people and don't believe trans exists. It saddens me that such people are not courageous enough to be "out" as this-- to say right up front that they will attempt to cure you of your idea that you are trans. At least that way they would have sort of a warning label.

--Jay J

Hi Zerro - I was not suggesting that the MD had to be a 'specialist'. However, there are many diagnosis' in the DSM and not everyone practitioner has the right background to be 'useful' or therapeutic.  For example, I am finishing up my training as an advanced practice nurse in child adolescent psychiatry. I have experience with all sorts of mood disorders, learning difficulties, etc. I have not had much training, nor done much education/research in schizophrenia. That being said, if a family came and wanted me to manage meds or follow - I would refer them. There are many other practitioners who would do a better job as they have a better background. I expect other providers to be just as ethical and refer clients to others if they themselves are not versed in a specific area. That was all. By her license the woman could treat any emtal health condition that walked through her door - that does mean she should!

And clearly she should not be treating transgendered individuals.

OTOH, you don't have to look for the highest credentialed person with the most letters back of their name. I actually am seeing a mental health specialist who has maybe a master's degree in psychology. What's really been great is that he is trans. so he knows about how this is.

My experience seems to be a lot better than some people who are seeing folks with doctorates from prestigious places.

--Jay J

Quote from: aleon515 on October 17, 2012, 05:54:17 PM
I'm convinced that some portion of gender therapists are just there to prove to trans people that they really are not trans. They are against trans people and don't believe trans exists. It saddens me that such people are not courageous enough to be "out" as this-- to say right up front that they will attempt to cure you of your idea that you are trans. At least that way they would have sort of a warning label.

--Jay J

I agree, before I started HRT this was my B I G G E S T fear.

Quote from: Stewie on October 16, 2012, 03:28:22 PM
I went in today being confident and everything. I told her I would like the letter of recommendation. Well then she brought my mom in and the session was over and she didn't mention the letter. So I told her what about the letter. She said she doesn't really know anything about this letter and isn't quite sure what it is. That it would be breaking the confidentiality thing. But she said she would have to have me sign a form of consent and then that she'd have to talk to the endocrinologist and make sure what he needs and see if she's even qualified to do this...

I have been seeing her since June/July. She has known I have wanted to be on T from day one. And now she comes with this? I just feel like she should have been up front with me that she had no clue what she was doing. And to top it of she's a psychiatrist. The last time I saw her she said I didn't even need to see her anymore. That I should just make an appointment next time I needed to talk. I thoguht maybe this was a test. Nope. She was just going to leave me hanging. How the HELL was I supposed to transition then?

I'm so pissed. My mom said she was going to get me the appointment with the endo and to be positive that more than likely everything will work out and this therapy wasn't for nothing but I feel like I have been betrayed by this woman.

I'm not trying to sound like a broken record but have you considered finding a new therapist?

Update!!!