For the past year i have made it a goal of mine to lose weight, i need to lose about 40 pounds. Well over the past 8 months or so i have lost about 14 pounds- it's not a lot but let me explain more. I have incredibly low self esteem, i mean it's like on the floor, that's how bad it is. Anyway most people would be super happy to lose that weight and it would motivate them to continue to lose more, my problem is that whenever i get super motivated my thoughts make me lose all my confidence. I always get this thought in my head "there is no point in losing weight because im ugly anyway, losing weight won't do a thing to change that"- that idea is the biggest culprit, ive tried as i could to shake it off but it sure as hell has beat me down pretty badly, to the point where im not even trying to lose weight anymore. I keep thinking it's just better to let myself go- as im fugly anyway and that's not gonna change. I've mentioned before in some post's about my facial issues- i have a port wine stain that covers much of my face, i have it covered with make up 24/7 as bad as that sounds, but it's the only thing that allows me to live like this without flipping out and harming myself. I have made a appointment with a doctor in November who specializes in this condition and he said he certain that he can help me- being the person i am i see it from the negative side and i think it's just not going to work out. Anyway now you all know my dilemma and to be honest i need some serious help with these feelings or i don't know what will become of me. Now i might go and binge on food again On a side note, my avatar pic is older- i have packed on quite a bit of weight since that pic was taken

You look fine in your avatar (picture). How tall are you? how much you wieight? how old?

I am sorry you are feeling so bad about yourself. I recently lost just over 50 lbs. I know I don't have a very good looking face, so my motivation was to at least have a good looking body. I changed my diet to one that worked Will with my body type. I primarily eat a low sodium diet. No greasy foods. Low carbs. High fiber, and protein. I also eat a lot of veggies. Also, I allow myself to have some "junk" food about once a week. This keeps me sane so that I do not binge eat. It took me quite a while to find a diet that worked well for me. It was a lot of trial and error. I would give a diet about 1 month to see if it worked. Once I found one that worked, I stuck with it. It is not easy by any stretch of the imagination, but the results have been worth it.  I hope this at least helps a little.

Sound like you were starving yourself, Tessa. I'd say that you should just use common sense. Eat when you're hungry, stop eating when you're full, eat good food, and exercise. I've always had low self-esteem and as a result I would always get cut and cut my scabs, leaving at least 300 scars on my body. Honestly, losing weight did help for me, so I wouldn't give up on such a good goal that can improve your appearance, health, and self-esteem.

Believe me, you are your own worst critic.

Quote from: TessaM on October 18, 2012, 03:38:58 PM
Common sense that you speak of is good too, dont eat desserts, fast food, lots of meats, etc. That would be great, and the weight will eventually come out.

Except chicken! I could never give up chicken. 

Quote from: Elsa.G on October 18, 2012, 02:40:45 PM
For the past year i have made it a goal of mine to lose weight, i need to lose about 40 pounds. Well over the past 8 months or so i have lost about 14 pounds- it's not a lot but let me explain more. I have incredibly low self esteem, i mean it's like on the floor, that's how bad it is. Anyway most people would be super happy to lose that weight and it would motivate them to continue to lose more, my problem is that whenever i get super motivated my thoughts make me lose all my confidence. I always get this thought in my head "there is no point in losing weight because im ugly anyway, losing weight won't do a thing to change that"- that idea is the biggest culprit, ive tried as i could to shake it off but it sure as hell has beat me down pretty badly, to the point where im not even trying to lose weight anymore. I keep thinking it's just better to let myself go- as im fugly anyway and that's not gonna change. I've mentioned before in some post's about my facial issues- i have a port wine stain that covers much of my face, i have it covered with make up 24/7 as bad as that sounds, but it's the only thing that allows me to live like this without flipping out and harming myself. I have made a appointment with a doctor in November who specializes in this condition and he said he certain that he can help me- being the person i am i see it from the negative side and i think it's just not going to work out. Anyway now you all know my dilemma and to be honest i need some serious help with these feelings or i don't know what will become of me. Now i might go and binge on food again On a side note, my avatar pic is older- i have packed on quite a bit of weight since that pic was taken

As a former 250 lb fatty I know the routine all too well. Combine that with either a super effecient or super slow metabolism loosing weight can be hell. I joke about how I can gain weight just smelling food.

My low self-esteem and other issues make it hard not to eat, and especially drink. LOTS of empty calories there. I can get in a funk and eat all night long, almost to the point of being sick. It is funny how I use the same exact techniques t avoid food that I've used to avoid my gender issues. LOTS of distractions and diversions to keep myself busy. Especially during the "Danger Period" after dinner when I can start feeling sorry for myself. Driven mostly by, if I am as fat as a house again no sense worrying about transitioning or not. 

I also found a direct correlation between avoiding gender and not avoiding food & booze. Avoiding dressing right afer work just leads to over-eating, and worse. A relationship that speaks volumes to me 

LOsing weight is a long game.  It's not about starving yourself, faddy diets or missing meals.  Also, people lose weight at different rates.  Don't set a daily calorie plan but change the things you eat most.  Carbs should be the smallest portion on your plate. Don't fill up on bread. Exercise regularly with gentle aerobic exercise e.g. walking, cycling or swimming.  High impact high tempo aerobics doesn't burn fat it just tones muscle and makes you hungry.  Instead of eating three big meals a day, eat four or five small meals.  Drink lots of water.  Limit hidden calories like alcohol.  Set a routine and stick to it.

Weigh yourself every week or fortnight, not every day and do it mid morning, not at night or first thing in the morning.  And it is OK every so often to treat yourself, just add another mile to your walk/cycle the next day.

Oh, and it takes about five minutes for your stomach to tell your brain that it's full.  Wait five minutes after eating to see if you are still hungry

I think the most important thing while losing weight, or taking on any lifestyle change, is to do it for the right reasons. Feeling more physically attractive is certainly a perk of weight loss, but it needs to be sort of a secondary goal to other things like health and general well-being. I gained 60ish pounds over the past...year and 8 months or so, so I know it's definitely not easy. Before hormones, I used to talk down to myself when I thought about losing weight, thinking "why do it? You'll just look like a sexier woman, not more masculine" or "it won't make you a better person." I still think the latter sometimes, but then I remember that I am doing it primarily for my own personal comfort.

14 lbs is no mean feat, so don't beat yourself up over it. 

Take your time and if you can take off even a 1/4 lb a week, you will lose it all without putting your body into starvation mode, where it will store as much as possible because it thinks there is a famine.

You will get there.

Karen.

Quote from: Elsa.G on October 18, 2012, 02:40:45 PM
........ I always get this thought in my head "there is no point in losing weight because im ugly anyway, losing weight won't do a thing to change that" .........

I was saying this exact same thing last month after buying some clothes and looking in the mirror.  I cried for most of that evening, and got advice from everyone here.  Then I just told myself that loosing weight isn't just to look good, it's part of my transition, and I'll never quit transitioning. 

Quote from: Elsa.G on October 18, 2012, 02:40:45 PM
.........I have made a appointment with a doctor in November who specializes in this condition and he said he certain that he can help me- being the person i am i see it from the negative side and i think it's just not going to work out.   ........

I've seen some pretty amazing results from modern medicine.  I'm sure you researched just about everything imaginable, and narrowed down the number of doctors you want to see.  But if you're in the US check with Stanford in Palo Alto California, and UC Med Center in San Francisco, I know they have specialized programs.  My wife did a bit of research and consults with them before having some procedures done with our own health provider.  I know her condition is far less sever, but she's a Registered Nurse, and felt she had to check with everyone possible.

Let us know what happens after you talk to the doctor. 

Love, Kathy.