So I just broke up with my Boyfriend. It was more of a mutual agreement of parting ways. Nothing ugly and no bridges burnt.  It had more to do with the fact he is graduating this year and going to Georgia. Sorry to all you Georgians out there...but being raised in the South, I do not think I would move back!

Now, here comes my woes:

A man doesn't turn me on by how he looks. I get turned on by how he presents himself and how intelligent he is. Call me crazy, but an intelligent man will make me go gaga. And here is where it gets dicey:

1. I would rather marry a man who shares religious ideals similar to mine or a man who doesn't mind being a Pastor's Husband and supporting me in my ministry.

2. I am stealth in my ministry. While my general conference leaders (the ones who ordains me) knows I am transgender, I have no need to go around to my members and I say, "Hi! I am Pastor Annah and I use to have a penis." I am a woman now. No sense in trying to cash in on the gender presentation...it wouldn't make sense. You don't see a guy walking around saying, "Hi I am Steve and I am a male."

3. Dating a guy in my particular church would be out of the question since I do not tell the congregants of my birth gender.

4. Every man I date, I tell them of my birth gender. This is one area where I would not keep it stealth. For me and only in my opinion if a man is going to trust me to the point of sharing his body with me I feel that I need to do likewise.

5. The usual ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s, in my opinion has an IQ of sex. There's no real number attached to it. They just wanna get in your panties for the thrill of it and takes very little regard to your own personal attributes and uniqueness. To a ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<- you are bacon with sausage gravy on top. Nothing more. Oh, and if you're post op they sulk like a child who open a great big christmas present and finding an economy bag of athletic socks. (I get so wound up when I see a transgender girl so happy for meeting a guy who is an obvious ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-...but I digress)

5a. ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s likes the type of transgender girls who wear skirts so short you can see what brand underwear they are wearing...or shorts so short they aren't shorts...it's a belt.  I became a woman not because I am a walking fetish to turn salivating, horny men who spend hours watching ->-bleeped-<- porn to say "I love you, baby."

So that is my woe. It was easier to date in college. I could tell the guys there and I knew they would accept me because they had opened minds and at the same time I knew they weren't ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s either...because a ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<- wouldn't chase someone they assumed was a genetic girl.

So my search continues where I can sit down with a guy who doesn't look "deshoveled" and talk about the nuances of existentialism and post modern humanistic theology into the night without worrying whether or not he thinks I'm going to give him some "pu tang" because he paid for my 3.95 Omelet Special.

Good luck, Annah. It's not fun, that's for sure. I wish you luck in finding your life partner and soulmate Meghan

Well, Meghan

If you find any guys like that lemme know LOL

BTW, I don't know if you knew this, but your video of your facial transition progression was what got me the nerve to transition back in 2009. You were the one who pushed me to the dark side lol.

THE DARK SIDE! Come with usssss, lol. I've seen your videos too Annah, I think you do an awesome job of luring those good kids over to our side. Just don't tell them about our master plan to take over the world   I like your advice too, very grounded and practical. We need more of that!

Annah, I agree totally with your list of woes (except the religious bits )
I want someone to like me despite being trans, not because I'm trans. When I go out, I get hit on by men. I hate it. I don't hate the attention, I hate the fact that one day I might actually like one of them, then Id have to tell him and that's probably where would end. Kind of like being Cinderella, having to leave at midnight when the party's only just starting.

Sorry to hear that things didn't work out Annah. 

I have been having a bad time over the last week with regard to lesbian trans-apathy.  One thing that has helped is visualising  that I am like a member of a minor religion who is really only open to a relationship with a fellow sect member, or someone who can be converted.  Not perfect, but it helps.

Karen.

Annah,

Have you considered a night class in philosophy or sociology, as a place to meet people but also continue expanding your education? Or are there any philosophy groups in your city? Any clubs that are more intellectual?

I'm just tossing ideas out there.

Quote from: LizMarie on October 19, 2012, 07:35:21 PM
Annah,

Have you considered a night class in philosophy or sociology, as a place to meet people but also continue expanding your education? Or are there any philosophy groups in your city? Any clubs that are more intellectual?

I'm just tossing ideas out there.

lol, I think Annah has been in Uni for a while, she'd be more suited at teaching the class ^^

Quote from: LizMarie on October 19, 2012, 07:35:21 PM
Annah,

Have you considered a night class in philosophy or sociology, as a place to meet people but also continue expanding your education? Or are there any philosophy groups in your city? Any clubs that are more intellectual?

I'm just tossing ideas out there.

What Ave has said lol..
ive taken so many philosophy and sociology classes, i could literally teach college lvl

Im also in MENSA and i no longer go there because i fall asleep at those gatherings...very boring

Sorry to hear about your breakup girl, I hope you have good luck dating...the trans ->-bleeped-<-s are too many I almost wanna just quit most dating sites because they're flooded with 'em.

Quote from: Annah on October 18, 2012, 11:20:35 PM
Call me crazy, but an intelligent man will make me go gaga.

Well, I wouldn't call you crazy. Smart guys get my motor running.

Anywho, as for the rest of your post. Have a bit more faith in people. Not all guys are as bad as you may think. 

Quote from: Annah on October 18, 2012, 11:20:35 PM
5. The usual ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s, in my opinion has an IQ of sex. There's no real number attached to it.

Yes there is.  You just said it.  IQ of sex => 6.  Marginally better than zero. ^.^

Sorry to hear about your breakup - I wish there was something that we could really do to help.  Being pithy and saying time will help is just being that, being pithy.
On the bright side though, the sort of person that you're interested in, will most likely be the sort that will be able to see past the whole gender thing.

Sounds like you need to grieve over the death of your relationship, just like any other grieving.  Give it time, and do things for you, that you couldn't when you had to allow time for your partner.
I am trying to be my own girlfriend in a way at the moment, and taking myself out to dinner etc allows me to have the perfect date.

Hugs sis. It will pass.

Karen.

Sorry Annah..... For your break up and the prospect of finding someone who isn't a "freak"....

It's funny that the smartest people I know take 'disheveled' to new heights. 

->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s Boys likes the type of transgender girls who wear skirts so short you can see what brand underwear they are wearing...or shorts so short they aren't shorts...it's a belt.

FIFY.  And the preferred brand of underwear is 'none'.


talk about the nuances of existentialism and post modern humanistic theology into the night without worrying whether or not he thinks I'm going to give him some "pu tang" because he paid for my 3.95 Omelet Special.

Funny that the place most likely for people to spend the night doing that (largely because they don't have anything better to do the next day, and for sure don't have to get up in the morning) are colleges.  And I don't know of anywhere that's the hotbed of people spontaneously and constantly hopping upon the couch of Eros than colleges.  I'll bet that every building, on every campus, in every place that two people can have sex, that sex has been had there.  Frank Zappa said: If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.  He was powerfully correct in that.  From my point of view, after spending one half of my life in rock concert production and the other half in colleges that there is a lot more sex in the second than in the first.  WAY MORE.  Of course it's also true that you'll never have to worry about that whole I'm going to give him some "pu tang" because he paid for my 3.95 Omelet Special thing, because pretty much the last thing in the world an academic will ever do is pick up the check.

Quote from: tekla on October 20, 2012, 10:33:59 AM
It's funny that the smartest people I know take 'disheveled' to new heights. 

->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s Boys likes the type of transgender girls who wear skirts so short you can see what brand underwear they are wearing...or shorts so short they aren't shorts...it's a belt.

FIFY.  And the preferred brand of underwear is 'none'.


talk about the nuances of existentialism and post modern humanistic theology into the night without worrying whether or not he thinks I'm going to give him some "pu tang" because he paid for my 3.95 Omelet Special.

Funny that the place most likely for people to spend the night doing that (largely because they don't have anything better to do the next day, and for sure don't have to get up in the morning) are colleges.  And I don't know of anywhere that's the hotbed of people spontaneously and constantly hopping upon the couch of Eros than colleges.  I'll bet that every building, on every campus, in every place that two people can have sex, that sex has been had there.  Frank Zappa said: If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.  He was powerfully correct in that.  From my point of view, after spending one half of my life in rock concert production and the other half in colleges that there is a lot more sex in the second than in the first.  WAY MORE.  Of course it's also true that you'll never have to worry about that whole I'm going to give him some "pu tang" because he paid for my 3.95 Omelet Special thing, because pretty much the last thing in the world an academic will ever do is pick up the check.

Aww, I didn't get laid or educated at college. All I got was a chip on my shoulder and a debt to my name. Last time I listen to my parents.

Though if dishevelment is a sign of intelligence, I must be up there with John Locke.

Sorry to hear that Picax2, because you seem to me exactly the kind of person I would want in class with me (teaching or student), wish you could have gone to college with me then.  I went from 74-78, and by 74 all the 60s events on campus -rebellion/riots/protests/shootings/takeovers and all that stuff - were over and everyone breathed a sigh of relief, and basically ignored the students for a solid 10 years until the nanny mentality came roaring back.

But the dumbing down of the college curriculum had not really got started yet, nor had the entire 'college is a trade school so you can get a good job,' or the 'student as client/customer' so I was ridden hard and put up wet, and it was an intellectual paradise.

And though I was a science/education student, I went over to the theater department to volunteer to do stage-work, knowing that a) theater students have much better parties then say physics majors or the College of Education, and b), if you can't get laid in a theater department you can't get laid anywhere.  It's full of actors, those are girls (and boys if you prefer) who love to play dress up, have little to no modesty or shame, and are pretty much crazy/insane/psycho on top of it, and desperately crave attention, affection and admiration and will do anything to get them.  And they can fake it pretty convincingly, so that's a bonus.  And I was coming out of 12 years of Catholic school so I was absolutely repressed and obsessed, and full of all sorts of sick, twisted and depraved ideas.  That theater department was god's gift to me for having put up with that.

Quote from: tekla on October 20, 2012, 09:01:32 PM
But the dumbing down of the college curriculum had not really got started yet, nor had the entire 'college is a trade school so you can get a good job,' or the 'student as client/customer' so I was ridden hard and put up wet, and it was an intellectual paradise.

Thank you! Exactly what happened these days!

Congratulations, Annah, you now know where to get laid. 

lol you guys are too much

It's not an issue of getting laid. Getting laid is the easy part.

I want an actual meaningful relationship with an awesome guy where sex isn't the only thing in our relationship. Don't me wrong; I enjoy sex. One guy I dated ...gosh how do I say this. I actually had to google the condition he was inflicted with because I never seen "it" so small in my life. The sex part in that relationship was very frustrating in more ways than one. He was an awesome guy and we did date for about a year but his lack of sexual function really made me want to pull my hair out because it was always me pleasing him and not us pleasing each other. I never brought it up and I know he knew...how could he not? But I never brought it up because it's his manhood and I know a lot of guys really take that part of their bodies seriously. And i'm not just complaining about "his size" because I dated a transguy and he blew my socks off. I am talking about the guy I dated last year just did nothing in bed...it was like making love to a sea otter that's hibernating (not that I have ever made love to a hibernating sea otter before).

So I am not saying sex is the least important in a relationship..its just one of many things that should come together nicely.

And I am in graduate school...a seminary. We don't have drinking sex parties like UPenn has. We don't abhor sex...but we don't pick out our partners for a friday night fling either. Plus, if I was looking just for sex, I'd go next door to the Franklin and Marshal frat house.

I'm looking for an older guy who is grounded in himself, smart, and is somewhat ..at least..and average lover in bed when that time comes. lol. I know..i may have a better chance at finding a Unicorn and dating him. But I know he's out there somewhere.

And when I mean a man, I mean all gender types of men. I view FtM just as much as a man as a genetic man. One of my best lovers I have ever had was a transguy. He was more of a man than most of the Gmen I have ever dated.

Try the library. Plenty of smart, respectable guys there.