So I am an industrial roboticsist and I work on, offshore oil rigs.

What has be your expserince coming out to your employer, how did you do it?  how did they repond?  How could you have don't it better?  and are there anylaws I should be aware of relating to coming out to an employer?



Related links,

--  I work on the Discoverer Enterpise
http://www.pbs.org/newshour/rundown/2010/08/coming-aboard-the-drillship-discoverer-enterprise.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discoverer_Enterprise

--  and I crew an Oceaneering ROV  (Remotely Operated Vehical)  You have to love how these boys name things
http://www.oceaneering.com/rovs/rov-systems/millennium-plus-rov/
http://www.oceaneering.com/oceandocuments/brochures/rov/ROV%20-%20Millennium%20Plus.pdf

I'm a software engineer.  When I told HR her first reaction was to think someone said something offensive, reminding me my company has a zero tolerance policy for descrimination.  Then she said not to worry, as long as I continue to do my job everything will be fine.

My boss has been all hung go about it.  He seems outright anxious for me to tell the rest of my co-workers.

As for my coworkers I've been planting seeds so when I come out to them it's more a "oh, that makes sense" instead of a surprise.  Saying that I'd do better as a gatherer than a hunter.  Other stuff.

So far my experience has been positive.  I hope it keeps up.

I do live in a state that can't let me go because I'm trans.  I wanna say there are only 12 states with that protection.

I'm looking forward to reading other responses.

I'm a support analyst/tech writer for a software company. I'd been at my job for about 6.5 years when I announced to my bosses and HR that I'd be transitioning. Shortly before my 7th anniversary there, I came to work as Constance for the first time.

That was in September 2011.

My experience has been overwhelmingly positive. People who had been merely co-workers to David are friends of Constance. There is a handful of co-workers who no longer look at or speak with me. But overall things have been very good.

My employer is based in San Mateo, CA, at the very northern edge of Silicon Valley.

I'm in Australia and protected by anti-discrimination laws. I have not had a single negative reaction for anyone male or female. Like Connie I have more friends and talks with people about stuff than ever before.

BTW I was told by my endo that in her experience, which is vast BTW, is that there are more MtF in the engineering profession than any other. She is also MtF and treats most of the TG people in South Australia.

Good Luck.

As for names I did like NASAs 'manually operated soil moving device' - a shovel.

Cindy

I'm so scared to say anything.  Jesus I'm sitting here at work and I'm trying to get my self top write an anonymous e-mail to HR to feel them out and what could that hurt.  God if I don't want them to trace me back they can't.  I'm that good and I'm terrified.  I'm so scared right now and I have to play it cool and I'm going alittle nuts please  jsut IDK anything.

OK.

Letter to HR,

Use a yahoo or google account, it takes seconds to make one.

Hi
I'm an employee and have been for several years. I have suffered for gender identity disorder all my life and I'm now receiving treatment. I was living and presenting a s a male when in fact I am gender identified as female. I wish to continue my work with the company as my gender has nothing what so ever to do with being able to perform my occupation. Can you let me know what forms etc I need to present and can you confirm that the company supports the anti-sex discrimination laws and that I am legally protected at work against sex discrimination.

I am using a yahoo/google email account as I am very frightened by possible negative reactions. I have been a reliable worker and am happy to meet with HR personal when my position is clarified.

With Best wishes

New Name leave out the second name..


Simple, respond to the reply in a positive manner.

You are doing nothing wrong. It is your life.

Hugs

Let me know the reply

Cindy

Jenn, you'll be fine. IT sounds to me like you're working in a highly skilled environment and quite probably surrounded by very smart people. Smart people are usually pretty cool with transsexualism. I my experience (I also work in a skilled environment but nothing as flash as deep sea robotics lol) I sat down with my boss and said, so this is what I'm doing, any issues? His exact words were
"Mate, you can grow 8 sets of t*ts, 6 heads and 14 knobs and I'd still want to work the rest of my career with you"

Smart people are cool. My boss is a pretty smart character Good luck

An oil rig is a hell of a boys club and well ya.  Hell having even a normal girl is of note.

I'll try to send that email not having to write it all helps I'm jsut so scared

Quote from: Jennifer.L on October 21, 2012, 04:42:32 AM
I'll try to send that email not having to write it all helps I'm jsut so scared

Goodluck Jennifer, that's something I'm not brave enough to do for sure.

ps. is that you in your avatar? I'm stunned quite frankly. I would never guess you were born male at all. Wow

pps. Can I have your job? I've always fancied being stuck on an oil rig way out in the North sea or somewhere :p

jesus crist I did it and I only did it because off all the support here I'm getting cold chills like some ones walking over my grave ane that last comment ty so much it got me over the edge and <not allowed>
  What have I done  it's done.  it's done.  ok breath.

Yes its me   wow thank you


Update,  The address I got out of the computer bounced back and I had a minor freak-out.  Then spend 31minutes of paniced search and found the name of the houston office HR director.  I couldn't find any email address but I know how they format the adresses and I made a guess.  so far it has not bounced back.  grrrrrrr. 

Good luck
I know that waiting is the hardest part, but you've done the right thing and I'm sure you'll get the positive response you're hoping for.
Plus, once you get the response, you can start a dialogue with them and start planning how and when you'll go to work as the real you. That's just so exciting!

Congrats. You had to do it sometime, and now it's done.

I can understand your trepidation. I think it would have been a real cluster->-bleeped-<- if I'd come out at my old job--for years, I was a printer for an international company, at least, until I moved into the desktop publishing division. Most of the people there had very blue-collar mentalities, and the men were very...straight.

Fortunately, I was able to transition at a University of California campus, where the process was essentially a non-issue. I'm not even the only trans employee on my campus.

Good luck, and keep us posted.

o.0  I sent it on sunday?  no wonder I didn't hear back.  should I be more or less worried.  ?   gaaaahhh     Thank you guys so much for listening   I'm so scared and nervious and just the tinyest bit excited

I work in a "good ole boys" type environment as well. It is a bit scary, especially knowing how many of the men think. When I told my boss, I expected to get fired. He just said "it is what it is. Anything else?" Since then, no issues at all. You never know, they might surprise you with how they respond. I hope that email is well received.

They might need a couple of days to decide what to do!

Quote from: Arch on October 22, 2012, 08:51:40 PM
They might need a couple of days to decide what to do!

If this is a new situation for them they may need a couple of days to look at what the laws are and what the corporate policy is.  If there is no corporate policy then they'll probably establish one based first on the law and secondly on the company philosophy.  (Be glad you're not working for Chik-Fa-La!)

Oh bugger this is nuts 0.0  I sent basicly the same thing asking for any kind of replay.  I hope it's not hitting a spam filter.

If you think it IS hitting a spam filter, you can write your concerns into a document (even a simple txt doc works) and then attach that to the email - ensuring the email is simple and to the point and doesn't say anything that might trigger the filter.  Something like:

I am an employee of the company and have a question about policy and how it may affect me.  At this time I prefer to remain anonymous due to the sensitive and personal nature of this issue.  I have sent previous emails  that I'm afraid were lost in the spam filter.  In order to avoid triggering that filter this time I have provided the pertinent details of this issue in the attached document.  Thank you for your assistance with this sensitive issue.  As this is very important to my future with this company, could you please reply acknowledging that you've received and are considering this issue?  I know it may take a few days to determine what the corporate policy is and how it applies to my situation, but please communicate with me if any significant delays develop in this process.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

(new name)

Good luck Jennifer!  I know you've got to be sweating bullets waiting for their response.  I know this is a necessary step, but it certainly takes courage to commit yourself to it.  I hope it all works out.

I would print the email out and add a cover page saying you originally emailed it but with no response. I would then pop it in the internal post. Give the email address you were using and ask for any response to be sent there.

Also, make sure that YOUR email service is not spamboxing THEIR responses.