Hey girls I have been researching a lot of ftm stuff, but I have never really looked so much in to the mtf 'world.

Because of this it's pretty easy to make a ftm character, but really difficult to make a mtf one and I kinda need one for my comic. Of cause I can make a female personality. It's not it. Just don't know vary much about what you face, how you feel about testosterone, being viewed as male and so on. I could look around, but for some reason it makes my dysphoria worse. I don't really like coming up with 10 or whatever questions you have to answer for some reason, but I can't seem to think of what to do then. You are free to not answer what you don't like. Also fell free to add something you want to tell I haven't asked for.

Tell me a little about yourself.

Does the mtf community have a stereo type like the ftm one (we are all just homophobic lesbians in denial or the ftm one: we are living on the male stereo type) and if so what is it?

What is you sexual (and romantic) orientation and how did it relate to your gender?

How do you handle tranphobia ?

If you saw a trans* person getting beaten up what would you do?

How old are you and how old where you when you came out to people?

Who did you come out to and how did they react?

Just how light can you make your voice?

Did you always know? if not when did you?

How where your mood and feelings before hrt?

And this one is really important: when did your 'wrong' puberty start and how did you take it? (how would a person that know before puberty take it?)

Does the mtf community have a stereo type like the mtf one (we are all just homophobic lesbians in denial or the ftm one: we are living on the male stereo type) and if so what is it?
The only one I have ever heard is that we are gay male in denial

What is you sexual (and romantic) orientation and how did it relate to your gender?
I would be considered straight.  Before transition I was married to three women.  Now I look at guys, and some really get my motor running

How do you handle tranphobia ?
I have not faced it, but I would call that person a 'bigot'.

If you saw a trans* person getting beaten up what would you do?
I would call the police and probably try to help

How old are you and how old where you when you came out to people?
I was about 20 or so, but back then there as not much information

Who did you come out to and how did they react?
My ex, who was a friend at the time.  She was supportive then.  Not so much after we married

Just how light can you make your voice?
I have gotten to the point where I am never misgendered on the phone.

Did you always know? if not when did you?
I have always known I was different, but it was not until I was about 20 that I found out about transsexuals

How where your mood and feelings before hrt?
I was angry all the time.  Anything could set me off

And this one is really important: when did your 'wrong' puberty start and how did you take it? (how would a person that know before puberty take it?)
I guess I was about 12 or so.  Not knowing that there was anything else, I figured that all boys felt this way.  It wasn't til I began to understand that there were other types of gender identity that I began to become angry

I'm 19, hormones almost two years, full time a bit over one.

The mtf community has the stereotype that we're all men who get excited over wearing dresses, i.e. we get confused with transvestic fetishists.

I am probably bi, but I think I prefer women... so I might be a lesbian. It doesn't really relate to my gender.

I sort of shut down when I face transphobia.

If a trans person was getting beat up, then that would be a police call, and I would want to help... though I would be unable to.

I was 14 when I first came out.

My family. They reacted with anger and denial.

My voice is fine... some say it's a little nasal, but it sounds cis as far as my feedback has told me.

I knew since age seven, which was when puberty started.

My mood and feelings before HRT mostly considered of apathy, anger, and a lack of emotion.

My wrong puberty started at seven. I took it poorly, but I wasn't traumatized until my voice dropped - at which point, I stopped talking because I hated how I sounded.

Does the mtf community have a stereo type like the mtf one (we are all just homophobic lesbians in denial or the ftm one: we are living on the male stereo type) and if so what is it?

I have only heard "just a man in a dress".

What is you sexual (and romantic) orientation and how did it relate to your gender?

I am pansexual. I don't think it has anything to do with my gender.

How do you handle tranphobia ?

I have yet to face any transphobia. Depending on the situation, I would probably have an interesting "conversation" with the individual(s)

If you saw a trans* person getting beaten up what would you do?

Do all I can to end that horrific act.

How old are you and how old where you when you came out to people?

I am 29. I came out to people about 6 months ago.

Who did you come out to and how did they react?

I am assuming you mean the first person I came out to. That would be my Son's Mother (a.k.a. Wife) She told me how horrible of a person I am and how everyone is going to hate, loath, and be discusted by me for several months.

Just how light can you make your voice?

I am still working on my voice, so I do not know exactly how feminine it will get. But, it is starting to get to the point where I get called ma'am on the phone.

Did you always know? if not when did you?

I don't know if "always" is the right term, but I have known since I was 4 or 5 years old.

How where your mood and feelings before hrt?

I was suicidal.

And this one is really important: when did your 'wrong' puberty start and how did you take it? (how would a person that know before puberty take it?)

I was 15 when I started puberty. It was horrible. I was completely convinced I was going to be turning into a woman, not a man. Mind you, I was very good at science, and knew how illogical this was. To cover up how horrible I was, I started to drink...a lot.

Does the mtf community have a stereo type like the mtf one (we are all just homophobic lesbians in denial or the ftm one: we are living on the male stereo type) and if so what is it?

Apparently we are gay men trying to trick men into having sex. We are all very slutty and will sleep around with anybody.

What is you sexual (and romantic) orientation and how did it relate to your gender?

I'm straight, always have been since I was 12. IDK how it relates to my gender.

How do you handle tranphobia ?

Hasn't happened to me personally. I think if it DID, I would try to say something that makes the person that is being transphobic look like a jerk or an idiot. Now I MAY have been fired from my job and evicted from my neighborhood, but they didn't come right out and say it.

If you saw a trans* person getting beaten up what would you do?

Call the cops. I'm not going to jail or getting beat up for anybody other than my family or very close friends. If they were them, I'd do what I could to stop it right then.

How old are you and how old where you when you came out to people?

I'll be 30 on Tuesday. I came out to a few family members as early as 2 years ago. I came out to my mom in January. Lastly I came out on Facebook in June when my name change was legal.

Who did you come out to and how did they react?

Almost everybody was either indifferent or supportive. My brother and sister in law did not want me around their kids unless I was in boy mode. That changed and I finally saw them about a month ago. The kids didn't talk to me at all aside from my niece who is too young to remember me anyways. My brother now calls me his sister.

Just how light can you make your voice?

My voice passes 100% of the time. I can pitch it pretty high but I don't pitch it high just to talk in my girl voice. I've always had excellent range in my voice and a ton of control.

Did you always know? if not when did you?

Yup. I thought it'd be fun when I was 3, I was wishful at 6, and dysphoric at 12

How where your mood and feelings before hrt?

Very even and controlled. However I was a big time loner and hated myself. At 1 time I became suicidal.

And this one is really important: when did your 'wrong' puberty start and how did you take it? (how would a person that know before puberty take it?)

Around 12. I acted excited, but every night I prayed that a disease would happen that would force doctors to turn my penis into a vagina. I later learned that smoking marijuana decreases sperm count, which I thought "If it does that.. maybe it will stop the stuff that's happening too!" So I became the biggest pothead in school. I started smoking weed at 12 and smoked as much as I could almost every single day until I was 25. Honestly... I think it worked lol!

The main mtf stereotype that bugs me is the assumption that we all want to be as femme as possible.

Quote from: Sparrowhawke on October 24, 2012, 10:04:01 PM
Does the mtf community have a stereo type like the mtf one (we are all just homophobic lesbians in denial or the ftm one: we are living on the male stereo type) and if so what is it?
A lot of people seem to assume that sex is an important reason for our transition. Also, many think we're like the famous examples of old, that we want to be cabaret girls and party and dress only halfway. That we'll live a "slutty" kind of life.

What is you sexual (and romantic) orientation and how did it relate to your gender?
I started out mostly asexual, though when there was physical attraction, it was almost only towards guys. Bi-romantic, but more oriented towards girls for feelings. I was sure I would end up with a guy, but it turns out the one I fell in love with is a girl. How it relates to my gender... Well, the fact that she sees me as a girl is pretty much the one absolute prerequisite for me to allow myself in the relationship. I could never have been anyone's "boy"friend.

How do you handle tranphobia ?
I haven't faced much, but the one time I did (my father when I came out to him), I vaguely tried to protest and explain, then smiled my way out of the conversation when I felt insulted.

If you saw a trans* person getting beaten up what would you do?
I was never confronted to violence, so it's hard to say. I doubt I would notice whether the victim is trans though. I would probably call the police. Maybe I would panic and just run away, but I doubt I would. I'm not courageous enough to stand up, exposing myself to physical harm, though. And even if I did that, I don't think I could do anything.

How old are you and how old where you when you came out to people?
I'm 21. I first "came out" to a few friends around the age of 13. I was still much in denial then though, and we were in a "white magic" phase. I said I had two souls, a male one and a female one. Then at 14 I wrote a pretty disturbing story - well, the start of a story; I wrote a chapter and a half - about a guy and a girl trading souls. I first officially recognised I was trans when I was 18, and came out to my psychologist soon after. A few months later, on the doctor's request, I came out to my mother, who took care of spreading the news to the family, thanksfully.

Who did you come out to and how did they react?
My psychologist, who kind of brushed it away as non-important because she wasn't competent in that. Then my mother, who was like "I knew, but why worry about this now? Do like the one on TV: get a career and money, and think about that when you're 40." Accepting, but not understanding or supportive much.

Just how light can you make your voice?
How light? You mean how high? It goes pretty high, except when it "fails". Yesterday, I choked on water in the shower and all the mucus in my throat finally went away, so my voice is normal again for the first time in months. As an indication, I can sing - with effort, all right - this whole song, EXCEPT for the highest notes at 0:15.

My voice passes very well, almost always. That's because I've been making sure my voice doesn't become horrible since it started trying to change in the beginning of my puberty. I beat it back, ahem.

Did you always know? if not when did you?
Hmm, I've known I was a girl from the earliest I can remember. It was relegated to the background - only coming out at play time, when we'd play at pretending, or in my dreams, where I was always a woman - though, for quite a bit of my childhood. Between the moment the very young me asked if I could be a girl too and told no and the moment the very start of puberty came with arousal and made me feel awful about myself...

That was around age 9, if I calculate well. Grade 4, anyway. Though since I trust people very easily and my father told me at some point how transsexuals were ugly, disgusting half-woman-like men, I didn't allow myself to be "that". I had various mystical explanations (and solutions to come) until I was 18, when I finally admitted to myself that I was a transsexual, not an angelic female being who'd stolen a male demon's body to control him or anything.

But yeah, despite my silly stuff (pretty silly for an 18-year-old, indeed!) I never once thought I was a guy inside.

I just thought of something. I don't ever remember saying I saw myself as a guy when I would grow up. Actually, when we were playing adults, I was always a 22 (I think I'd picked that up on TV as a good age to be)-year-old female students, or the mommy. How carefree of my parents to say I would become a priests and not to investigate on that.

How where your mood and feelings before hrt?
Awful. Testosterone was making me feel aggressive about stuff I didn't want to, and my personality is the very opposite of aggressivity. But worse of all was arousal. My brain isn't made to sustain that stuff, and it gave me horrible arousal daily. And forced me to masturbate. And when really aroused, I did some disgusting stuff and came to be aroused by tons of awful things. No details on this, but it made me hate myself a ton. Anti-androgens made me come back to normal after over half of my life under the influence of that stuff.

And this one is really important: when did your 'wrong' puberty start and how did you take it? (how would a person that know before puberty take it?)
I don't understand the thing between parentheses. Anyway. My puberty was probably the slowest of all. It started in grade 4 with testosterone-induced bursts of arousal and an increase in body hair (yes, increase - I'm "lucky" enough to have ALWAYS had body hair), and it probably ended around 19-20 with the appearance of my Adam's apple.

I didn't get a "whoa" growth spurt; my voice didn't suddenly break and start sounding ridiculous like so many other guys; my face didn't get any drastic change, other than over time. It was so gradual that until I remembered the grade 4 stuff and saw a picture of the child me with obvious leg hair, I said I had no idea when my puberty started.

Well, I was much less traumatised by it than resigned to it. I was waiting for a magical miracle, so I just endured in silence. My body was always pretty masculine-shaped and hateable anyway, so I didn't feel at loss because I was losing feminity or anything. I wasn't losing much. I just hated body and facial hair and sex.

And when I hate something, I ignore it and forget it. Defense mechanism. That's why the drawer with my memory in it is fairly empty. Some people get traumatised by bad stuff; I just forget it. So the worse the stuff, the less likely I am to remember it. Another reason people don't take me seriously.

Quote from: Sparrowhawke on October 24, 2012, 10:04:01 PM


Does the mtf community have a stereo type like the mtf one (we are all just homophobic lesbians in denial or the ftm one: we are living on the male stereo type) and if so what is it?
-That we're all flamboyant, prancy, girly-girl hookers ("Hangover 2" -->  ). I can tell you that as someone who can use a bow and arrow, throwing knives, and swords, I am far from 100% stereotypical girl (aside from my stuffed animal collection and love of "girly" music).

What is you sexual (and romantic) orientation and how did it relate to your gender?
-I could have sex with someone of either gender, but I would rather be romantically involved with a man. I don't think it relates to my gender at all. I just feel more compatible with men.

How do you handle tranphobia ?
-I don't think anyone fears us, so much as they hate us. I accept that people don't change very easily, so if I can't easily show that the LGBT community if full of normal, good people, I just give up because haters aren't worth my trouble.

If you saw a trans* person getting beaten up what would you do?
-If I saw anyone getting beat up (unless the cops were beating up an attempted rapist or something), I would try to break up the fight, and if things got heated, I would defend myself and the victim as needed. If the situation is extreme, I would call the cops. Once again, this applies to all people, not just trans folks.

How old are you and how old where you when you came out to people?
-I came out when I was 17.

Who did you come out to and how did they react?
-My dad told me that he just wanted me to be happy, my sister appreciates that I would be so honest with her and that she could finally have a sister, my friends told me the same thing my dad said, and my mom is in complete denial and thinks that I don't know myself enough to know I'm trans.

Just how light can you make your voice?
-Don't know.

Did you always know? if not when did you?
-I don't think I always knew since I didn't always know trans people even existed, but if I had to pick a time were I simply thought that I am not a dude, I would say that.

How where your mood and feelings before hrt?
-Haven't started HRT, but it's hard for me to feel feelings sometimes.

And this one is really important: when did your 'wrong' puberty start and how did you take it?
-When I became a gymnast and eventually developed a solid build. I tried on one of my sister's dresses and looked so hideous.  I cried for an hour after that.

I just want to add that not all mtf trans folks hate their penis. I know from living with two cis women that vaginas are high-maintenance and that I like the liberty of being able to pee standing up and with aim. If I could magically have a vagina and all of the normal girl parts, I would jump on the opportunity, but a major surgery that requires lots of recovery time (Especially time off from training. I need to stay strong to become a firefighter) and serious cash isn't feasible for me.

Does the mtf community have a stereo type like the mtf one (we are all just homophobic lesbians in denial or the ftm one: we are living on the male stereo type) and if so what is it?
I've seen two which both seem to be based on sexuality: that we are gay men who want to be fairy princesses and avoid our fate, or that we are straight men who can't escape our nature and end up "butch lesbians."

What is you sexual (and romantic) orientation and how did it relate to your gender?
I'm attracted to men in both regards, with romantic being more readily apparent to me. My sexuality has never meant a lot to me except to make me think I was gay when I was a teenager and made me try to date women to get it out of myself; I never could, I always turned them down because it felt much too awkward to me. When I was around 18, accepting that I liked men came along with accepting my gender. It's hard to say if they were related since I always consider gender and sexuality so separately in my mind these days.

How do you handle transphobia?
I some times try to educate people, but by and large I ignore it and fill my life with people who are understanding. I draw strength and serenity from those people.

If you saw a trans* person getting beaten up what would you do?
I would stick up for them verbally and/or try to call for help. I'm not terribly strong and absolutely have no idea how to fight.

How old are you and how old where you when you came out to people?
I'm 27 and I tried to come out when I was little (5-9), but my family would have no part of it so I "really" came out when I was 18-22 (started telling at 18, finished telling at 22).

Who did you come out to and how did they react?
The first person I ever came out to was my (eventual) best friend, who initially was only half-supportive and always asked me questions about the integrity of my feelings. One day I became extremely upset upon learning that she didn't really see me as female and left her alone because I didn't want to talk to her, and literally from that day on something struck her and she's been more adamant and faithful about my feelings than even I am. We became best friends shortly after that.

Just how light can you make your voice?
My voice is completely passable. I don't have an exact number as to the frequency, but I am capable of laughter, even cackling and it only seems to get better as time goes by.

Did you always know? if not when did you?
As far back as I can remember. My earliest distinct memory is of when I was 4 or 5 years old and I was laying down in the hallway of the house I was staying in. I had sort of a crush on Michael Jackson, and the more I thought about it, the more it frustrated me that I wasn't a girl. I realize some part of that was ignited by sexuality rather than gender, but the initial flame pushed my thoughts more towards gender frustration. I remember thinking about it for hours that day.

How where your mood and feelings before hrt?
I've always been very emotional towards other people, but towards myself my general mood was very flat and only seemed willing to take dips (depression). Post-HRT I have many, many more moments where I'm excited, affectionate or happy .. but there are also a bit more mood swings, and I feel prone to being much more upset depending on the feelings of others. My desire for romantic fulfillment has also greatly intensified and I find myself daydreaming about men all the time, as opposed to very rarely thinking about sex or romance before.

And this one is really important: when did your 'wrong' puberty start and how did you take it? (how would a person that know before puberty take it?)
I honestly can't remember the exact age, maybe 13. I felt really frustrated with how masculine it was making me. At the time I was more in denial and really trying to fit in, so I was mostly okay with the changes .. but some that I didn't feel were necessary to being a regular guy, like body hair, really bothered me. I was always crossing my fingers to turn out kind of pretty, and any step away from that was extremely frustrating and made me very self-conscious.

Ultimately, I think it contributed a great deal to not making me care about myself at all as a teenager. I can't say what really drove those feelings for me, if it was my gender identity or just some image I wanted to fit, partially spun for myself by my sexuality or something I saw in culture. That is how I felt and reacted, though.

Something to add: what I am most self-conscious of in terms of womanhood.
I think that my method of communicating tends to be fairly astute. I do use a lot of flowery intonation (verbally) and emotive phrasing, but my language itself isn't terribly feminine (though lesser is it masculine). I often worry that people will see me as too emotionally disconnected (when the opposite is expected of women), and that's simply not the case. I spend a lot of time reading and writing and I think that lends itself to making it difficult for me not to speak the way that I do; it feels all too natural for me to want to be both accurate and open with other people.

Quote from: Sparrowhawke on October 24, 2012, 10:04:01 PM


Does the mtf community have a stereo type like the mtf one (we are all just homophobic lesbians in denial or the ftm one: we are living on the male stereo type) and if so what is it?

Yes. Here are some stereotypes I have seen:
1. MtF are ->-bleeped-<-s who has a girl clothing fetish...they just wear it all the time versus in their bedroom.
2. MtF are transgender because they want sex all the time.
3. MtF (if they are non op) are considered not real girls (this is seen in our very own community).
4. MtF who dates women are just guys who like to get off in women's cloth but want a woman to like their fetish
5. MtF are this way because (if they are young) they want attention (although this sometimes can be true) or (if they are old) they are having a mid life crises (although this sometimes can be true)
6. We do it to trick men (this is why I always stress to tell your date who you are...because if you don't then no wonder people think this is true)

QuoteWhat is you sexual (and romantic) orientation and how did it relate to your gender?

I would classify myself as a "quasi pansexual" however, I am much more attracted to guys (Genetic, Trans guys, etc) than women or anyone else in between. I say quasi pansexual because I do not believe people are 100% one way or the other and i have slept with a woman before.

If I had to quantify it then I would say:

98% into men (all men) and 2% everything else

QuoteHow do you handle tranphobia ?

I never have it come up in "real life." However, I handle transphobia (I usually see it when other trans girls do it to other trans) situation by trying to educate people rather than doing a shouting match.

QuoteIf you saw a trans* person getting beaten up what would you do?

Call 911, take a couple of movie clips on my phone for evidence, and then get Spongebobarate on their ass.

QuoteHow old are you and how old where you when you came out to people

38 now. 35 when I made the decision and 35 when i came out and 37 when I declared my transition done.

QuoteWho did you come out to and how did they react?

Came out to my friends first and then when I felt comfortable enough with my transition, I came out to my mom in a 5 page email along with links to support groups and my facebook.

They all took it rather well. Had a few Bible Thumpers freak out...but other than that it was good.

QuoteJust how light can you make your voice?

I was interviewed by Kathe Perez for her voice software last summer as one of her success stories so I think it's good. Never been clocked on the phone or in rl from my voice. I even sing soprano in the choir now. (not the fake soprano...the good kind lol...I can hit a "D" now without it sounding squealey)

QuoteDid you always know? if not when did you?

I knew since I could remember cognitively as a child. Basically, my first memory of a child in that same year frame, I knew. Ask my mom. I stole her underwear and her junior high school dress enough times at the age of 5 lol.

QuoteHow where your mood and feelings before hrt?

Normal

QuoteAnd this one is really important: when did your 'wrong' puberty start and how did you take it? (how would a person that know before puberty take it?)

I took it very badly. When I started growing facial hair at the age of 14 it was just really bad. At the same time, having actual breasts did not make the matter very fun.

Thanks for your answers everyone!

The reason I asked if your sexuality related to your gender was because people in the ftm community (or at leas at Susan's) often didn't get why guys didn't like them as gay guys did (if they were gay) and there are so many topics about sexuality and stuff over there. It might be because they are guys  .

peky: I'm doing this for a comic I'm making. I really wanted to have a trans girl at the age of 12-14. I want her to bump in to the main character and expose herself (not sure how) and be kind of scared and stuff. I wanted to create a realistic character. I have seen a webcomic with a trans dude that was so much of stereo-type that I stopped reading it and I didn't want to do this with my character.

Does the mtf community have a stereo type like the mtf one (we are all just homophobic lesbians in denial or the ftm one: we are living on the male stereo type) and if so what is it?
I guess the assumption of hyperfeminine.

What is you sexual (and romantic) orientation and how did it relate to your gender?
Asexual before I started hrt. I might be attracted to guys now, still trying to work that one out.

How do you handle tranphobia ?
Have not experienced it yet. Still not out to the world.

If you saw a trans* person getting beaten up what would you do?
Call for help and probably get involved. I tend not to think when someone is in trouble and just do what I can to stop whats happening.

How old are you and how old where you when you came out to people?
Im 29, I came out to people at age 28.

Who did you come out to and how did they react?
First friends from university, the first two shattered my illusions that no one would accept me. Then my father who physically reacted to it, he tried being supportive but I guess didn't know how, tried explaining how to talk to girls as if that was the issue

Just how light can you make your voice?
I have been gendered female on two seperate phone calls recently. And people are not recognizing my voice on the phone anymore ^_^

Did you always know? if not when did you?
According to kindergarten teacher I was always a very serious kid and wasn't the same as everyone else. My first solid memory is age 12, where bad things happened and the shame started First time I found out about hrt I was 26 or 27, that kind of made it harder till I finally had a chat with 2 friends who helped me alot, was a very dark time in my life and I owe my life to their support.

How where your mood and feelings before hrt?
Complete apathy. I had no future, no joy only pain. I felt my happiness and the happiness of others was mutually exclusive. Seems really silly now though

And this one is really important: when did your 'wrong' puberty start and how did you take it? (how would a person that know before puberty take it?)
I guess age 12. Nothing emotional happened during this time. I had already shut down most of my emotions at this point. The physical changes I dealt with by never looking at myself in a mirror. Its why I have no real idea how I look and in my dreams I am faceless and not well defined.

Does the mtf community have a stereo type like the mtf one (we are all just homophobic lesbians in denial or the ftm one: we are living on the male stereo type) and if so what is it?
Men trying to dress as women to have sex with men, heard that a lot from my dad's pastor!

What is you sexual (and romantic) orientation and how did it relate to your gender?
100% pansexual.  Genitalia or gender, physical or mental, do not add into the equation of me liking who a person is.

How do you handle transphobia?
For the most part I will ignore it, however I will speak up when I see others being treated poorly.  I was very fit before transitioning and I remain a very fit girl who will use force to protect others from physical abuse if it gets to that.  No joke, it really boils my blood!

If you saw a trans person getting beaten up what would you do?
Proceed to fling each and every one of them off the person, at the very least hoping they could escape.  I know for a fact I can take a beating and definitely return a beating like a pro, but I'd rather be the one suffering than someone like myself.

How old are you and how old where you when you came out to people?
I'm twenty-five currently and made the decision to tell everyone I was transitioning when I was twenty-one.

Who did you come out to and how did they react?
I told my father, who calmly (this is how I knew it was bad) said he wanted me to speak to his pastor.  The pastor proceeded to tell me I was only doing this to have sex with men.  My father wasn't so happy that his religious adviser hadn't swayed my opinions and punched through the wall next to my head.

Just how light can you make your voice?
Indiscernible from any other girl.

Did you always know? if not when did you?
When I was seven I came to a realization I'd not grow up to become a woman.  From then on I lived miserably until I discovered I could do something about it around the age of nineteen.


How where your mood and feelings before hrt?
Completely miserable and agonized.  I had everything going for me as a male.  Fit body, good looks, girls.  But inside I knew this isn't what I wanted for myself.  It wasn't what I needed to become whole and happy.  Basically, I drifted along indulging in all sorts of masculine behavior and conquest to try to cover the internal damage.

And this one is really important: when did your 'wrong' puberty start and how did you take it? (how would a person that know before puberty take it?)
I didn't begin to go through puberty until I was sixteen.  Before that I was always a very scrawny little person, often mistaken for an elementary schooler.  Of course my appearance was also androgynous as youths tend to be.  I was fine with growing taller, however I remember the thing that disgusted me the most was growing body hair.  I'd shave and shave in secret, hoping my parents wouldn't find out (because when they did before they'd embarrass me and call me a ->-bleeped-<-.)  My body's scent changed, it terrified me.  I felt like I completely lost my chance at being at least remotely pretty.  My face changed from one that was girly to one that wasn't at all feminine.  It was like watching an incurable disease spread across my body, eating me up, and changing me into something grotesque.

Harmonic, if you wish for me to speak to your father please let me know.

I have pastored for over 10 years and have been involved in the ministry for the longest time.

Your father's pastor is simply using the Bible to twist what he perceives as truth to his favor (and he's wrong...and I can prove it to him)

Thank you so much, Annah.  In time I just might take you up on that. 

Does the mtf community have a stereotype like the mtf one? I don't know of a stereotype but apparently we are all "f**king mental."

What is you sexual (and romantic) orientation and how did it relate to your gender? I'm a heterosexual female with the occasional lesbian thought. It makes no difference to my gender, I'm marrying a straight man.

How do you handle trans-phobia ? I'm not very good at handling it, I tend to ignore it. At the end of the day they're just bigots.

If you saw a trans* person getting beaten up what would you do? Call the police.

How old are you and how old where you when you came out to people? I'm 20 now and started my transition age 20.

Who did you come out to and how did they react? I came out to a good friend who supported me and was happy for me. Nowadays I call him my fiancé :3. Some people didn't care, others needed time to adjust and others down right hated me.

Just how light can you make your voice? I can scream like a girl and giggle like a child.

Did you always know? if not when did you? Nope. In no way shape or form did I always know. But when I started experimenting with CD I began to realise that I was more comfortable dressed as a woman and it felt more me. Something about it felt right.

How where your mood and feelings before hrt? I'm pre hrt

And this one is really important: when did your 'wrong' puberty start and how did you take it? I started when I was around 13/14. Luckily I was never overly hairy and I've always been quite short for a guy (5,8) . But one thing I hated was the way I smelt! That drove me crazy. Plus random erections are a nightmare! Cisguys bitch about them enough but for me it was an occasional hope shattering confusing bitch!

Does the mtf community have a stereo type like the mtf FtM one (we are all just homophobic lesbians in denial or the ftm one: we are living on the male stereo type) and if so what is it?

I think you messed up your question, and I put my own spin on it.  First of all, I fall into the non-binary spectrum, so my answers will certainly upset your research!  Answer: I reject all stereotypes.

What is your sexual (and romantic) orientation and how did it relate to your gender?

My "gender" is in flux and situational.  I disregard all labels such as straight, gay, lesbian, etc.  I believe all people are pan- or bi-, or have the capacity to be so.

How do you handle tranphobia ?

With kid gloves.

If you saw a trans* person getting beaten up what would you do?

I would do the same thing if I saw anyone getting beat up.  I would attempt to stop it.  I am still pretty strong, and I am still pretty skilled at self-defense.

How old are you and how old where you when you came out to people?

I was 15 when I first identified as "bi-sexual."  I coped with undiagnosed gender dysphoria for decades.  I am only out on a need-to-know basis.

Who did you come out to and how did they react?

I first came out to ... me, and I shocked myself.

Just how light can you make your voice?

Voice is not a happy topic for me, because I can not figure out what the androgenous voice is supposed to sound like.  I got up the nerve to post a voice sample in the Androgyne Talk forum, in a topic called "The Androgenous Voice"

Did you always know? if not when did you?

As a young teen, male-bodied, and developing breasts, I was ... uh ... confused.  I began to accept myself as is by the time I started high school.  I had some experiences which helped that process and to build my self-esteem.  I was actively bi-sexual by college.

How were your moods and feelings before hrt?

My feelings were all over the place, and my moods were highly variable.  When I began low-dose 17 beta estradiol in Sept 2011, it was like having a cloud lift from my mind.  Because of a mild stroke in March 2012, I had to stop HRT.  It was one of the the most depressing moments of my life.  I am incomplete.

And this one is really important: when did your 'wrong' puberty start and how did you take it? (how would a person that know before puberty take it?)

Let's think about this for a second.  What is the "wrong puberty" for a non-binary?
What is the "right" puberty? LOL!

Quote from: Sparrowhawke on October 24, 2012, 10:04:01 PM

Does the mtf community have a stereo type like the mtf one (we are all just homophobic lesbians in denial or the ftm one: we are living on the male stereo type) and if so what is it?

Not sure on this one. Outside of Susan's I have not been involved in the community as the area I live in is very family oriented.

Quote from: Sybil on October 25, 2012, 09:47:03 PM

What is you sexual (and romantic) orientation and how did it relate to your gender?
I'm attracted to men in both regards, with romantic being more readily apparent to me. My sexuality has never meant a lot to me except to make me think I was gay when I was a teenager and made me try to date women to get it out of myself; I never could, I always turned them down because it felt much too awkward to me. When I was around 18, accepting that I liked men came along with accepting my gender. It's hard to say if they were related since I always consider gender and sexuality so separately in my mind these days.

My answer on this is a bit different. I am asexual. Do not like sex at this time,it doesn't work well,it does not feel right and I can live without it.

I was married twice but neither time did we start out dating. Both started as friendships. The first was that both of us were in a dance group and neither of us had partners,so we ended up being the odd ones out.

My second marriage started out in that before we ever went out,we spent hours on the phone. (Hours at a time,first phone call was four hours long) And we talked on the phone every day for months,again started as a friendship not a romantic relationship.

If you saw a trans* person getting beaten up what would you do?

Call the police and do what I can to distract them if possible.

How old are you and how old where you when you came out to people?

54,the first person I came out to was my sister,if my memory serves me right it was about 23 or 24.

Who did you come out to and how did they react?

Not as well as I was hoping for. She was born with multiple birth defects and of all the people I knew I thought she would be one would might have some understanding of what it's like to live in a body that wasn't right.

Just how light can you make your voice?

Do not know yet. Have never heard my own voice but I have been "misindentified" as a woman on the phone. (Kind of nice actually)

Did you always know? if not when did you?

Most of my life.

How where your mood and feelings before hrt?

Very dark and moody. Lately though I have reached a point of peace about it. But still not at this point on HRT.

And this one is really important: when did your 'wrong' puberty start and how did you take it? (how would a person that know before puberty take it?)

I was late. Not well at all.

Jamie D (oh my god your name?! My name is Jeremy D.!?!) Yeah I did mess up the ftm thing. I will correct it. I'm to not only one gender. I just feel more comfortable as male compared to female. Not sure if T is better than E because I haven't tried yet. I will consider myself ftm agender because I really like masculinity as much as I do (not social only the body).

About the voice: I heard this genderqueer person talk about ze voice. Ze gets mistaken for both binary's at the same time . I like ze voice.

Well, Jamie answered, so I think my non-binary weirdness must be allowed too...

Does the mtf community have a stereo type like the ftm one (we are all just homophobic lesbians in denial or the ftm one: we are living on the male stereo type) and if so what is it?

Lots. Mostly around actually being men, being prostitutes, being hyper feminine, etc. It's all depressing. And even the stereotypes that have some basis in reality are untrue for me.

I feel pretty disconnected from the community because so many of my experiences are totally foreign for them. I'm a post-op male-assigned-at-birth androgynous-presenting non-binary female, with ridiculous passing privilege (i.e. I look like a girl kind of trying to look like a boy). Or just Sarah works too.

What is you sexual (and romantic) orientation and how did it relate to your gender?

I've always been attracted to girls. But I was celibate for the first 24 years of my life. I couldn't cope with the concept of being someone's boyfriend. The first person I was with was also one of the first people to know I was trans.

I identify as gay or queer. My spectrum of attraction hovers almost exclusively around the traditionally female-bodied folks, with non-male identifications. So girls and non-binary female-ish people (like me). I was really expecting to end up as bi post-transition, but it didn't happen. Male bodies just don't trigger anything in my brain, beyond "pretty" - like looking at a picture. I don't know how I'd be with someone who was more on the line in terms of bodies. I'd be willing to try, but I don't think it would go very well.

How do you handle tranphobia ?

I'm not visibly trans and I'm not out about my status, so it isn't something I deal with directly. I tend to ignore or educate depending on whether I care what the particular person in question thinks.

If you saw a trans* person getting beaten up what would you do?

Call the cops. Take pictures. Inform the aggressors I'd called the cops. I don't think I would engage physically. I'm 135lbs and fragile.

How old are you and how old where you when you came out to people?

I was 21 when I informed my therapist and my sister. My therapist didn't really do anything. My sister tried, but didn't really know what to do. I was 23 when I told my then-best-friend-now-ex. And 26 when I started transitioning and informed by parents, friends, etc. I'm now 28.

Who did you come out to and how did they react?

Mostly positive. Though some people it took a bit of time for them to come around. My parents were overwhelmingly positive, which really helped a lot.

Just how light can you make your voice?

As light as I want. My voice didn't really drop much in puberty.

Did you always know? if not when did you?

I can't remember a time when I didn't know. I just thought I was crazy though until I found out about transitioning when I was 21.

How where your mood and feelings before hrt?

I was suicidal and self-harming so... not good?

And this one is really important: when did your 'wrong' puberty start and how did you take it? (how would a person that know before puberty take it?)

I was 13. I started starving myself, which I think is why I ended up with a comparatively gentle puberty. It pretty much terminated at 16. I still look like I'm 16 now. Puberty was awful. I dunno really what else I can say. By the time I was 16 I wanted to die all the time.