I hate being a transsexual. To the men out there, being transsexual means you would have sex with any men for a certain amount of money.

I swear to god, I am so sick and tired of men.

*sigh* my heart is broken , why do i keep on falling for these jerks who pretend to be nice and sweet but they are always about sex and they all think I am a prostitute or something? Seriously, what is wrong with these people?

That's a pity.  As for the "why", I'm not quite sure.  It may be that you're hanging out with the wrong crowd or trying to find a supportive partner in the wrong places?

Quote from: Jeannette on May 24, 2007, 01:20:19 AM
That's a pity.  As for the "why", I'm not quite sure.  It may be that you're hanging out with the wrong crowd or trying to find a supportive partner in the wrong places?

Well, that could be it but i am sure its the pre op and non white thing too. I mean, i don't know , but i have a feeling people have more respect for post op transsexuals.

Quote from: asiangurliee on May 24, 2007, 01:27:04 AM

Quote from: Jeannette on May 24, 2007, 01:20:19 AM
That's a pity.  As for the "why", I'm not quite sure.  It may be that you're hanging out with the wrong crowd or trying to find a supportive partner in the wrong places?

Well, that could be it but i am sure its the pre op and non white thing too. I mean, i don't know , but i have a feeling people have more respect for post op transsexuals.

Your statement's not entirely true.  I'm a pre-op transsexual, and I've never encountered a problem dating men who are worth dating.  I stay away from the bar scene and try to establish friendships in different circles.  What one has below the belly button shoudn't matter to a potential partner as long as one carries oneself with elegance and grace.

Quote from: asiangurliee on May 24, 2007, 01:09:42 AM
I hate being a transsexual. To the men out there, being transsexual means you would have sex with any men for a certain amount of money.

I swear to god, I am so sick and tired of men.

*sigh* my heart is broken , why do i keep on falling for these jerks who pretend to be nice and sweet but they are always about sex and they all think I am a prostitute or something? Seriously, what is wrong with these people?

Get used to it.  Even GG get this. I hear my GG roommate complain about it all the time.   Its called misogyny, most men are pigs.  The thing is being trans invites even more misogyny, some people jump to the prostitute or slut conclusion just because you are trans.  Its called trans-misogyny. 

Also do not think you will get more respect for being post op.  You will still face misogyny and perverted men.  It is part of being a woman in this society.  Many of us go into this well aware of what we will be facing, transphobia, misogyny, trans-misogyny and bigotry, and SRS solves none of them, it just changes the dynamic. On top of this you have to deal with being a racial minority. 

With that being said, avoiding bars is a good idea. 

Jeanette, no offense you are very fortunate never to encounter misogyny in your relations with men, it is exceptionally rare for a transwoman or a woman in general. 

Quote from: Jeannette on May 24, 2007, 01:36:44 AM

Quote from: asiangurliee on May 24, 2007, 01:27:04 AM

Quote from: Jeannette on May 24, 2007, 01:20:19 AM
What one has below the belly button shoudn't matter to a potential partner as long as one carries oneself with elegance and grace.

Yeah, i agree, it "shouldn't" matter.

Quote from: Amy T. on May 24, 2007, 01:52:26 AM

Jeanette, no offense you are very fortunate never to encounter misogyny in your relations with men, it is exceptionally rare for a transwoman or a woman in general. 

No offense taken, of course.  I've encountered problems with men but they haven't been related to my transsexuality per se.  Thank you kindly for your words.

See, I think it has to do with men KNOWING that you are TG and wanting that instead of men maybe not knowing and wanting you for you. I think many men who like TG, especially pre-op, that's what they want. I'm not sure, but the idea of being with a woman who is not yet fully a woman appeals to them. That is the thought that really scares me. If I'm going to be with a guy, it needs to be a straight guy who wants a woman, because that what I am, you know what I mean? I'm sure some of the guys could be really sweet, I just hear and see so many horror stories where they act really nice, then they leave, either because of guilt or because they thought it was something they wanted and didn't. It's a shame when a relationship just boils down to the physical because there is sooooo much more to a relationship. Meghan

When I went fulltime I was approached a lot. Stress on the a lot. Most were married men looking for a hook up on the side and most lied about their status. At the time I really wasn't into guys so I managed to keep away and stay safe (not to mention berating a few of the married ones). My sexuality has shifted a little since then but I have only run into a couple of guys who would be worth it. One I met before he got involved elsewhere and now is in a good relationship. My problem with the "she's just looking for sex" mentality is also enhanced by the fact that I am in the local leather circles.

All you can do is sift through the rejects to find the few who are worth the time and the effort.  Be smart and be safe.

LIT

Quote from: asiangurliee on May 24, 2007, 01:09:42 AM
I swear to god, I am so sick and tired of men.

*sigh* my heart is broken , why do i keep on falling for these jerks who pretend to be nice and sweet but they are always about sex and they all think I am a prostitute or something? Seriously, what is wrong with these people?

Been there.  Done that.  Washed the car with the t-shirt.

Like Amy T. says, it's just part of being female.  What I had to learn was how to give off just the right level of "buzz off" vibes so they would leave me alone.  I think all woman learn how to do that over time.  My 14yo daughter is working on it now.  It's a balancing act though.  You only want to get rid of the jerks, while encouraging the "keepers" to stick around.

Dont go to clubs or bars if you dont want to meet anyone there. Depends on what your interests are. If you are interested in dancing, for example, try socializing with men in a dance class. If you are religious, meet a man at church. If you like to workout, mingle with people at the gym. Also, meeting guys through friends is good.
Im sure you meet decent men all the time, you just dont know it.
Look more carefully, theres got to be at least one man youve dumped
on. Yea! he just might be the only one that would accept you as you are,
he just might also be the one who wouldnt play you dirty, he might even
cook and clean for you.  Look in your daily life for that man that goes out far and beyond the call.

Thank you ladies.

I really like all the advices given to me. I didn't meet him at a bar, I met him on the internet, I know, it's just as bad, if not worse.

But he really hurt me its incredible how cruel men can be and how perverted and selfish they are but there is probably some victim mentality that I am subconsciously projecting to men and I am the kind of girl that has a very hard time saying no and I want to be nice to everybody and the guy was so adorable and cute and kind, so I thought, and I just wanted to be nothing but sweet to this baby boy, but I was so stupid. He turned around and accused me of wanting to sleep with his roommate , in fact, he said I should go to his house and sleep with his roommate and him together! How fun!

I can't believe it. This guy who I thought could be my boyfriend is asking me to sleep with his roommate ; but just seconds before, he was accusing me of questioning him and that I am guilt ridden because I really secretly wanted to have sex with his roommate.

Anyways e, it's so horrible. I am so hurt and I couldn't have made it without my friends who see men for what they are more clearly than I do.

I was totally blinded by my supposed admiration for him. He has such loving greenish blue eyes, how can he treat me like this? I was totally nice to him , i did all i could for him..