So I woke up this morning feeling much more feminine than usual and it freaked me out. I'm not sure what to do about it because I was just getting to the point of being ready to start on hormones psychologically and then my gender starts feeling like something different than what I'm used to.
It's weird because what happened, best I can describe, is I went from being on one place on the gender spectrum to two places at once.
Has anybody else ever felt like one gender one day and been back to their regular one the next?
How do you deal with this, like if you're scared of people doubting you about your day-to-day gender?

I wake up in various gender ways, everyday. I never have thought much about it, it's always been that way.
Being or having the feeling of being at different places, genderwise, is not unusual to me.
It's why I don't use a spectrum model of explanation, but rather there being many points in a three dimensional area.
Define male and female within that area and it makes it a little easier to think that you could be adding or subtracting various aspects at the same time. Why not? No rules here about having to maintain certain points or positions as non-binary.
That would be over limiting and confining, which is not the normal nature of humans. We grow, we change.

Am I scared that people will doubt me? I suppose to some degree.
But then, my 3D model of gender has people doubting my ability about how I think of things as it is.
I'm pretty used to people who have doubts about my concepts, abstract or otherwise, but many of them have been proven or adapted to be seen as true.
I'm used to it. I'm right, far more often than not. (why yes, I am narcissistic, so?)

You have nothing to be scared of, as far as your own feelings of gender are concerned.
To the contrary, you should be celebrating a new found facet of yourself.

Ativan

I don't. But being genderfluid is a possible thing for trans (esp non-binary) people. I know a couple people that are this way. They literally need to take different sets of clothing when they go on a trip.

yes, I think it's a difficult type of gender identity. But the people I know have adjusted to it, in time.

--Jay Jay

Quote from: aleon515 on August 23, 2012, 09:05:46 PM
I don't. But being genderfluid is a possible thing for trans (esp non-binary) people. I know a couple people that are this way. They literally need to take different sets of clothing when they go on a trip.

I'm kind of like this. I don't think my gender ever changes, but I have days where I want to look androgynous and days where I just want to be pretty. It does make it hard to pack for trips; I often pack way more clothes than I need since I have no way of predicting how I'll want to dress on any given day.

While my fluidity doesn't really go that far, the way I want to present can shift.  I haven't worn a womens' button-down shirt for weeks now, but really want to paint my toenails again.  I just don't want things to be even more awkward when my father-in-law visits over Labor Day weekend.

There are times I feel completely self-conscious and want to hide if I chose to dress a little more interestingly that morning, and other times I wish I had made more of a statement.  But I wouldn't say I ever really go into "girl mode."  There's some aspect of the masculine side not wanting to be a sissy, but more just confidence vs. lack of it.

Most days I am my own concoction, blobby andro thing. But there are days when I feel particularly macho and girly.

I have lots of variation in my gender identity, too During many days gender doesn't matter that much. Other days I want to dress like a pretty glam-rock boy with glitter scarfs, tight and white jeans, dark eye make-up... Other days I want to look more plain and just tomboyish in general. And these impulses can be quite demanding - I wouldn't wear my high heels when I'm feeling the need to really look less "feminine". Happily I finally had the courage to cut my hair short and don't have to fret about that anymore...

So yeah, if I take a trip I do feel the need to have different kinds of clothing with me. I tolerate feeling uncomfortable quite well (having felt that way about my gender most of my life) but now that I know how to avoid it, why not take a bit more stuff with me.

Quote from: Ativan Prescribed on August 23, 2012, 07:29:25 PM
I wake up in various gender ways, everyday.

You have nothing to be scared of, as far as your own feelings of gender are concerned.
To the contrary, you should be celebrating a new found facet of yourself.

I second this heartily. For awhile I thought I would lose friends over the fact that my preferred gender pronouns tend to change on a daily basis, based on how I feel when I wake up in the morning. I didn't.

Your feelings are what they are, you cannot wish them away nor, I think, should you. They're all valid in their own right. I just try to be in the moment of my gender-related feelings and do my best to honor them because they are valid at that moment.

i can be one gender or the other gender, maybe even the third gender for a day or a week or... i try not to think to much about it, and let people cal me by female pronouns since that is what they "know" me as

usually i don't meet sexists, so i don't feel awkward about how i'm treated, it kinda gender neutral. more based on my skills, knowledge and views than my looks. though my often changing hair colors might be a way to distract people from my body and force them to look deeper. i also think people are less weirded out when a female with odd colored hair "slips up" and says something untypical, than they'd be if i presented as a "good girl"

but some days i feel one gender more strongly, and that can make things weird for me. especially when i feel like being the gender i was yesterday, and suddenly am not any more. or if i'm more ts than androgyne or cis, the female pronouns can get to me more than i'm comfortable with. and it can be a little hard to deal with if i can figure out which one of two genders i really am one day, like they're both there and can't decide on who gets to lead. luckily none of this happens too often, and i'm usually fine just being

maybe i could also mention awkwardness with my body. when i'm too used to just being me, it can be really weird if i one day forget that my body is not congruent with my gender. liberating to be free of the consciousness around my body when i'm online, but when i suddenly remember it can be a little... like the sky falling in my head or something. but then the next day i could not care about it at all, and be glad i never decided to try and change anything

so nice to not be able to agree with myself....

I'm mostly non binary with my fluidity but there were times before I started hormones  when I would find myself being extremely Male or extremely female for only a short time  and one time when in response to a very nastie experience where I felt both very male and very female at the same time.  I'm glad to say that the hormones have stopped me from moving into the extreme areas of the gender spectrum,  I'm still a little fluid but never get to the point where I feel so much of either that That I don't feel like me.  not since starting hormones.

Hormones have made the fluidity smoother.
Whenever there is a duality kind of feeling, the difference has less ragged edges to it.
Far more melded together, than having a feeling like a gap between them.
They just make being non-binary, more... non-binary. If that makes sense.

Ativan

I think I've always felt like a boy/man, but there are days I want to do things that are more girly (or perhaps simply happen to be girly) than on other days.  I try not to think too hard about it...

I usually feel not really either gender, so I usually dress in tomboy clothes and wear sports bras, but still get called "she." Which is okay. And then, there are somedays where I just want to wear fancy girly shirts.  And on those days, I get a lot of compliments like "I really like that shirt" or "you look cute" and I'm torn between being happy at the compliment and wanting to hide and change clothes.

There are very rare days when I attempt to pass as a girl. It just pops up and leaves as suddenly.Most days,I really couldn't care what I come off as, so loose shirts and pants it is.

For quite a long time I had suppressed my female side. I would get these horrific gender swings to female mode, and I would be stuck there...hopelessly dysphoric.

Now I think I might have created a male side so that I could fit in. I'm not so sure if I am gender fluid or if my male side just keeps on suppressing my female side. In girl mode I feel more gender queer, not androgynous but just female with male traits.

Does anyone have any idea to how I should go about sorting this out?

Quote from: Keira on October 29, 2012, 11:01:26 AM
For quite a long time I had suppressed my female side. I would get these horrific gender swings to female mode, and I would be stuck there...hopelessly dysphoric.

Now I think I might have created a male side so that I could fit in. I'm not so sure if I am gender fluid or if my male side just keeps on suppressing my female side. In girl mode I feel more gender queer, not androgynous but just female with male traits.

Does anyone have any idea to how I should go about sorting this out?

I honestly have no idea how to sort this out, expect that we just have to be honest to ourselves and really delve deep into how we feel about our bodies and genders.

Been having a situation somewhat similar to yours. During the past week I've done a couple of modelling sessions with very feminine settings, and that side of me has been active for a few days straight, now. I don't really know if acting like a female is about fitting in better, for me, or if it's a real side of me.

I'm thinking I just need to experiment with what comes along now and go with my gut instincts. Maybe that'd work for you, too?

It seems throughout the day I am a diferent sexual and gender orientation. It's beautiful and liberating thing to release labels and to just BE. Every day, Every second I am just ME. And me is a myriad of colors, feelings, sounds, etc.

There are times that I feel more feminine or more masculine, yes. There are many days where my dysphoria is much worse too. It gets better if I dress more like a male then. Do I mind my breasts? Not really. I don't love them either. I never desired to be a D cup, after all. However, I always feel so cheated out of being male, that it bothers me. Then there are times where it bothers me less...

So...I guess to re-iterate, or at least summarize, Yes, but I always lean toward male. Then again, I may be FTM.