So today has been pretty crappy mood-wise. I find myself wishing I simply didn't exist any longer. Just a simple little "poof" and I'd be erased from existence and all knowledge, as though I had never existed. Such a beautiful, simple concept, and realistically one that will never occur outside of Hollywood. Still, I wish it all the same. Just when you think all will be well, the carpet is pulled out from under you and the illusion fades. I'm tired of feeling like this, it just makes me wish i would have been born "typical", but I'll never be neural-typical, and I'm just getting older and fatter. Someone told me I'm a cyclic depressive and I should seek medical help for it. I said I'm tired of having to take pills just to be okay. I'm not even sure she was right. At any rate and for what it's worth, I can't imagine I'm alone in this. There must be one more soul on this planet who can relate. If you're on here, what do you do when you get this way? Thanks

I have dogs, actually only one right now. They are very good for the soul. A few minutes with a dog and things just seem better. They always calm me down and put life in better focus. You asked, hon! Hugs, Devlyn

I have a cat.

I used to have cats, but it's an all K-9 house now. What's been bugging you the most? We're expert listeners here. Hugs, Devlyn

I don't know what's wrong with me, what's causing this depression today. I woke up this way as I often do and it often lasts for days, when it comes. I had an awful dream last night where everyone I loved was dying off. If this is how it's going to be, though, constant bouts of depression all my life, I can't wait to die.

It's not how it's going to be. Remember, life offers you things. Some you want, some you don't. Death offers nothing. Go for what you want, and brush off the things you don't. Hugs, Devlyn

Quote from: Laura Emily on October 30, 2012, 08:03:32 PM
So today has been pretty crappy mood-wise. I find myself wishing I simply didn't exist any longer. Just a simple little "poof" and I'd be erased from existence and all knowledge, as though I had never existed. Such a beautiful, simple concept, and realistically one that will never occur outside of Hollywood. Still, I wish it all the same. Just when you think all will be well, the carpet is pulled out from under you and the illusion fades. I'm tired of feeling like this, it just makes me wish i would have been born "typical", but I'll never be neural-typical, and I'm just getting older and fatter. Someone told me I'm a cyclic depressive and I should seek medical help for it. I said I'm tired of having to take pills just to be okay. I'm not even sure she was right. At any rate and for what it's worth, I can't imagine I'm alone in this. There must be one more soul on this planet who can relate. If you're on here, what do you do when you get this way? Thanks

Theres 2 choices in life.

1. Give up (which isn't the answer).

2. Fight back and be proud that you are stronger than most people.

Try not to take people too seriously i.e. if people/strangers say anything negative towards you.
I guarantee that what they really think, 9 times out of 10 isn't what they really think (If it's a negative comment).

keep busy with things in your life, learn a new language, join a gym, write a book. Anything your interested in that keeps your mind occupied, your brain is a muscle, it needs a constant workout.

I'm not saying you don't do any of the above, I'm just mentioning the above because I'd go mad if I wasn't an active person 

It's nothing anyone has said/done towards me (I haven't had any derogatory comments made for a couple years). This depression (if that's what it is) just comes on randomly - seemingly.

Quote from: Laura Emily on October 31, 2012, 05:15:32 AM
It's nothing anyone has said/done towards me (I haven't had any derogatory comments made for a couple years). This depression (if that's what it is) just comes on randomly - seemingly.

There's someone I know with a Sad Light, that may help you?

Have you heard about Sad Lights? At least that's what I think the term is for them.

My friend has hers on her desk all day, she said it helps her.

random depression is random. not much you can do about it other than lessen your daily worries one by one, so that depression doesn't get too much to feed on. most of my random depressions disappeared when i got a good job, even more are disappearing as i adjust to my work situation and start feeling like i can handle it. there's still a lot left, but i haven't felt like ceasing to exist in several months now.

of course i still get down, but just knowing that it'll pass makes it easier to just let it happen, and continue my life while waiting for brighter days. those random depressions aren't always triggered by something easily identifiable, but just trying to find the cause might also help. right now we're a day or two after a full moon, and these days always make me anxious or depressed with no other reason than the moon starting to disappear again. the days just before new moon are worse still, but how bad seems to depend mostly on whether i have worries to feed depression and anxiety or not.

study your own depression cycles like many women study their monthly cycles. write down on your calendar when it starts and ends, and whether there was anything triggering it or not. finding a pattern can be interesting, but not finding one can be just as interesting. looking at my own random depression cycles/mood swings as some kind of interesting natural phenomenon to be studied made it a little more easy to bear, since i acknowledged that it isn't necessarily me there's something wrong with. my body/brain just reacts oddly to changes in my environment, and making the right precautions can help lessen depression when it hits.


and if that doesn't help, think of your poor cat. you can't cease to exist, since science can't do that quite yet. if you die, your existence will always be remembered by part of the world, and it would confuse or even devastate your cat. poor innocent little thing wouldn't understand suicide or other sudden death. and remember that death is a once in a lifetime experience, it should be enjoyed at the content and rather happy end of your life, rather than rushed.

When I used to have "feel down / blue" moments" (nothing compared to what I am going through now) I'd try to do something uplifting. Play a videogame, watch a series I liked, use my folder of mood uplifting music...


At the current level, I just get into the to bed and try not to think, maybe with one high grade beer to kock me down a bit. Nothing works lately. Using my previous countermeasures just makes me feel more miserable.

I wish I could have a dog or a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend, I don't mind.

I suffer from high anxiety levels (due to Asperger's) which trigger occasional bouts of depression. I've been severely clinically depressed and have needed treatment several times over the years. Sometimes I can cope with everyday life, and sometimes it's just too much for me to handle.

When things are just generally crappy, I try to remind myself that whatever is currently bugging me is really just a temporary blip on my radar and I won't even remember it in five years' time. That simple thought has helped carry me through some very difficult periods.

If it's a specific person who is making my life miserable, I challenge myself to continue irrespective of whoever or whatever is getting me down. I'll be damned if I'll let the feckers win - and if I give up, they'll win. I'm not having that! (That thought has saved my life three times).

However, when I'm clinically depressed it's very difficult for either of these options to work as I'm so wrapped up in depression that I almost feel numb and I wish I could just give up. I've been there many times so I know it's a warning sign that I've reached the point where I can no longer cope with just my self-help mechanisms. And yes, sometimes it does creep up on me for no apparent reason - that's what depression does.

At that point, I drag myself to my doctor and tell her I'm having a very rough time with my depression. She books me off work for a week (with 'stress') and prescribes anti-depressants. I then spend that week in my pyjamas, drinking hot chocolate all day long whilst watching rubbish television or playing on my XBox. I also sleep for hours & hours to relax myself. I call it my 'reset' button because I need to get away from people for a while in order to rebuild my ability to cope - I'm sure you have something in your life that could do the same for you.

I'm no expert, but it sounds to me like you might be in that 'feeling numb' phase of depression and that you need to reset. Please, see your doctor. Today.

My general philosophy was Life sucks and then you die. However problems do often arise when I refuse to totally embrace it. I wish I had a new one. Then I wouldn't feel so depressed when I get depressed over my life

I lift weights, listen to angry music, and sleep.

I play with my little friend, my dog. He's good at cheering me up.

It might be anxiety.  Are you not coming up on SRS? Sometimes when people are facing major surgery, they can get depressed.

Facing a major change in one's life will cause depression.  Get out and go enjoy a past time.

Quote from: Jaime on October 31, 2012, 05:32:22 PM
I play with my little friend, my dog. He's good at cheering me up.

I don't call mine "my dog." 

(and I don't play with him much, either)

Quote from: Ms. OBrien on October 31, 2012, 05:39:55 PM
It might be anxiety.  Are you not coming up on SRS? Sometimes when people are facing major surgery, they can get depressed.

Facing a major change in one's life will cause depression.  Get out and go enjoy a past time.

Idk I guess it could be. Surgery is feb 4th. Still haven't received the confirmation letter however.

Quote from: Jamie D on November 01, 2012, 12:03:53 AM
I don't call mine "my dog." 

(and I don't play with him much, either)

lol you're so naughty, this is totally awkward while I'm watching a documentary on Putin :O

Quote from: Jamie D on November 01, 2012, 12:03:53 AM
I don't call mine "my dog." 

(and I don't play with him much, either)

lol, you have got a dirty mind.