I got this idea to write a letter to my future partner to give to them as a gift on the morning of our wedding day for when we're separated and getting ready and nervous for the ceremony. I just think its might be a sweet, quirky thing to do and not only will it be a way to express my feelings for them but a nice surprise for them.

So what do you think? is it a bad idea? Do you think a sane person will like receiving a letter like this?

Also I wrote the letter yesterday and I was wondering maybe you could give a critique. I've typed it up. So basically is it any good. Some of the stuff is quite personal but none of you know me on here so I don't mind the embarrassment lol

Thanks for you time and here's the letter:

Dear fiancée/person that I've captured and tied up in my closet

In all seriousness hello! Let's start from scratch shall we. Basically at the moment I'm writing this letter I've no idea who you are. For me the date is the 31st of October 2012, yes its Halloween and I'm 20 years old. I came up with this idea to write a letter to my future partner about a week ago and I want to use this as an opportunity to express how much I already love you and we haven't even met yet. Or at least I think we haven't lol It's quite hard to write a letter to someone who I don't even know. All I do know is that I love you and I've made this decision to bind our lives together. That's the next reason I'm writing this letter, as a small gift to you on the morning of our wedding/commitment ceremony etc. And that's another thing cause being queer adds another level of complexity to this letter as in I don't know what type of commitment we're making to each other or what your gender identity or sexual orientation in. Though I know you like me so that's a start. Also this is kind of like time travel and that's equally as cool and arguably this is my first time talking to you so that's just as exciting.

Actually now that I think about it I wonder what you're like. What do you do for a living? I wonder is it something artsy or to do with a charity or an NGO though known my luck you probably work for a tobacco company who kills kittens for its cigarettes. Either way it doesn't matter as long as we love each other and you can pay for my chocoholic lifestyle. Also I wonder what you look like? Are you blonde? Brunette? A red head? Tall? Short? Thin? Fat?

And do you know what? It doesn't matter and not just because we love each other or some clichéd reason like that but you've changed my life in such a way that I want to commit to you, that I want to be intimate with you, that I want to have a family with you, a home and quite simply my life with you. Therefore I've come to the conclusion you must be a very special person and I can't wait to start my journey with you. That or you crazy for coming anywhere near me lol

At the moment I'm writing this letter. My life isn't really in a great place. I'm not happy to put it lightly. I've just dropped out of college and I'm living at home, a million miles away from my life with my friends and NGO's in Dublin. Today I've got a sore mouth, stomach pains and I'm knackered so even today is crap lol But I've never been as lonely as I have been the last couple of moths and it hurts. 1st world problems I know but they're my problems. I've no one to support me, no one to love me and show me affection. I hardly know what a hug feels like. I've no one I can talk to about anything with. I've so much pain and frustration building up inside me I don't know what to do!
However what i do know is that I've got you. It might not be for another 20 years before we even meet each other but I know you're out there somewhere becoming the person I'll fall in love with some day just like how I'm preparing for you. It's so beyond incredible it's impossible how much I already love you but oh I do. I think about you every day and I'm not just saying that, I really do.

You're the person who's going to break me out of my shell freeing me and make me so at peace with myself that I can experience what it's to be loved, warm and safe. To be held in your arms with a cup of tea and a slice of cake, sprawled on the couch watching some dodgy TV show with the heating cranked up when we're supposed to be doing something important like work. And you know what? Forget about me I hope you're happy, safe and healthy and fulfilled. My life after we meet won't just be about me its will be about you, the both of us and I promise to be the best partner in crime I can possibly be. I already don't take you for granted and cherish you and I just want to squeeze you so hard that I'm afraid you might break. Also you're so sexy I want to make love to you right now. Also let's not forget how crazy I must sound right now since I don't even know who you are or will I even meet anyone like you? But hey fingers crossed lol

I hope you're not too nervous for the ceremony or reception or whatever is happening today. I'm sure it'll all come together fine in the end. I wonder how I'm holding up and believe it or not I wonder what I'm wearing lol

See you at the alter/humanist equivalent.

I will love you till my dying day, Andy. XXXX

*DISCLAIMER* I'm single, never married, so I have no experience and my opinion probably means nothing here. I like your letter, but I have to think there is enough going on that day already. Asking someone to read and digest a long letter on what may be the most nervous morning of their life might be expecting too much. I hope I'm not steering you wrong. Hugs, Devlyn

 

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on November 01, 2012, 09:29:29 PM
*DISCLAIMER* I'm single, never married, so I have no experience and my opinion probably means nothing here. I like your letter, but I have to think there is enough going on that day already. Asking someone to read and digest a long letter on what may be the most nervous morning of their life might be expecting too much. I hope I'm not steering you wrong. Hugs, Devlyn

Yes the length is a concern of mine but i kept it as concise as I could while still expressing all i needed.

I actually got the idea to write this letter from a wedding planner who was on national radio last week and was asked by a listener for advice on something she could do or a gift for her fiancée who was really nervous about the religious ceremony aspect of the day and he suggested that a letter was a great way to calm and that it can help bring them out of what's going on around them at it helps express how much you love them and why you're making the commitment in the first place. Also people don't write letters any more so the gesture in itself is special. I just twisted it that I'd write the letter now because of the strong feelings I have now plus i think this way is kinda romantic.

Quote from: AndyBCM on November 01, 2012, 11:02:15 PM
Yes the length is a concern of mine but i kept it as concise as I could while still expressing all i needed.

Replace the whole thing with

"I love you"

That is all you need. That other letter does not sound genuine. You cannot write a letter from the heart that was prepared for a stranger 20 years ago. If I got that on my wedding morning I would be really worried.

Quote from: AndyBCM on November 01, 2012, 11:02:15 PM
... it helps express how much you love them and why you're making the commitment in the first place.

If they have not got that figured by the morning of the wedding then they should not be marrying you. Seriously. I have been married for 22 years. I still am in spite of transitioning. Love, friendship and respect are everything in a marriage. Nothing else matters.