it does make sense, jason. actually when it comes to making sense it's more important that it makes sense to you than to anyone else. i can't make sense of most girls, but they still exist. just like you are who you are, even though it might be hard to find other people who get you. it's perfectly possible that you are a gay guy. but you might also be a straight or bisexual guy who just likes feminine things. and some of the feminine aspects you cling to might be things you learned to cling to in order to appear more convincingly feminine, or attributes you love to see in other women and also want to apply to yourself because you've learned that you should be like them. there are many possible answers, and as you keep exploring, i'm sure you'll figure them out. i haven't figured out half of myself yet, and i'm hoping a gender therapist can help me with this soon, so i can find the best way to become more like myself.