I was way more anxious and depressed.  I felt frustrated a lot of the time because I'd be too afraid of what others thought of me to say what was on my mind.  Once a month I'd get insane chocolate cravings...

My emotions are a lot more leveled out on T.  It might seem to an outside observer that I get angry more easily, but it's really that I'm more willing to speak up when something bothers me, and actually allow myself to feel anger instead of turning it around and blaming myself for being angry in the first place.

It felt like nothing. Except during puberty. I had more than one anxiety attack per day because of it. Once my hormones leveled out a bit it stopped.

Like being at sea in a hurricane.

Quote from: Carbon on November 11, 2012, 08:21:49 AM
There is actually a pretty big difference between MTF and FTM or cis women here : we usually have stable hormone levels, while cis women's go all over the place. If we get our hormone levels to a point we like we can mostly just keep them there, whereas FTM's only get this once they actually start T.

Similarly, many ciswomen who take oral contraceptives (which also regulate their hormones) report having fewer emotional ups & downs. When I took oral contraceptives my moods seemed to stabilise - I became much more chilled. Perhaps that's the difference: MtFs can regulate their hormones, whereas ciswomen (or pre-T FtMs) can't and so are more prone to those nightmarish swings.

Quote from: mangoslayer on November 09, 2012, 09:11:16 PM
I never thought these things were related until my endo told me, but i had extreme ADD/ADHD before I went on T. I'm not really sure how it works but my endo described it as transsexuals have white noise in their brain. I would definitely say i had like a mental fuzzy feeling. Since starting T I've been able to focus without taking stimulants.
I have no idea if this is true or not but its what my endo told me.

This is very interesting. Does anyone else know about a connection between ADD/ADHD and transsexualism? I mean is ADD/ADHD really caused by having the wrong hormones or is it caused by preoccupation with gender dysphoria? (I know these are related.)

I have low estrogen to begin with, so a few years ago my doctor put me on birth control pills hoping they'd make it normal and make my monthly thing... monthly.  It made me feel awful.  My chest started getting bigger and I just felt like crawling out of my skin all the time.  I just felt disgusting and restless and like I was losing my mind.  I stopped after a month or so and swore there was nothing they could do to make me start it again.  Now I just feel like I usually do.  Since I've not been on T long, and I've been on a low dose, I don't really have anything to compare yet.

I feel like the 'proper' answer here is to say that I was over emotional. While that was true at times, I can't say that I always felt like that. Before I started HRT (The fist time) Well...I actually don't remember much about how I used to be, or really...anything before it, other than the bad things. I know that I laughed and smiled, but I don't remember ever doing it, I just know I did from what other people say. I'm not sure if I ended up blocking things out because I felt like it wasn't me or not...I know that's not much of an answer, and isn't much help. I know that I was more timid before HRT. I was scared of everything (Now I'm scared of different things) but yeah...I don't remember much...

Quote from: FTMDiaries on November 12, 2012, 11:06:34 AM
Similarly, many ciswomen who take oral contraceptives (which also regulate their hormones) report having fewer emotional ups & downs. When I took oral contraceptives my moods seemed to stabilise - I became much more chilled. Perhaps that's the difference: MtFs can regulate their hormones, whereas ciswomen (or pre-T FtMs) can't and so are more prone to those nightmarish swings.

Well I don't see that I had "nightmarish" swings. But the amt. of emotion I had over things was not tolerable to me.

--Jay J