When you are dysphoric and so you try to make yourself pretty to relieve it and fail... 

I remember the first time I shopped for girl clothes at the mall. I was so excited, so I grabbed the nearest cute looking thing I could find and went into the changing booth. But when I put it on and opened my eyes, all I saw was a masculine, ugly, crossdressing dude. I quickly tried lots of things on, but I looked masculine in all of them. I cried in the booth for an hour before leaving the mall...

Anyways, I'm feeling dysphoric now, but I'm afraid to change into girl clothes cause I'm afraid I'll still see a dude. I don't want to feel hopeless and trapped and start crying again.

Anybody else know this feeling?

Every day. I know that I have good days and bad days, all barometers of the "internal weather"...but when I see the infamous "man in a dress", I tell myselves*, "Well, if we don't like it, we can always go back to wearing men's clothes and maybe even taking testosterone again!"

There is an immediate hush from my "inner critic". I may be a man in a dress now, but I'm on the path to be a woman, and I just have to survive this awkward phase I'm in...




*Yes, I do have "inner selves" (plural). They all represent some aspect of "me", the whole person, who is no longer able to present as one. Even I am not the whole person, I am one aspect, which enjoys the cooperation of the others inside.

We all have days like that and then of a sudden something happens. A friend came into work today who hadn't seen for a month or so and just said. God you have changed in the month, your boy chin has gone and you have a female face. I hadn't realised it.

Just keep going on, you will get there

Hugs

Cindy

Hugs

try androgyne way
like (it was my first step)


It helps me a lot, then add some accessories and let it flow
It is male shirt, but as I have girly pants, all ask me why I have girly shirt 

I found it helped to see myself as looking particularly "Butch" that day.  You certainly do not look masculine in your photo.

It passes.

Karen.

Brushing my hair around the vast areas where thinning firmly identifies me as a middle aged male.

Wondering whether my future involves day after day of using hats and wigs to distract onlookers from these and my other masculine features (like my chin, nose, eyebrows and forehead).

But I'm proudly transgender and entitled to present as a female and have the world treat me accordingly. Regardless of how it seems, this isn't a test with acceptance awarded only to those with a "passing" score. Acceptance is our right, regardless of what we look like.

I know quite a few trans women in person who don't pass and know it. And yet I see them accepting themselves and appreciating their lives as women.

You don't need to make yourself pretty. All women are beautiful.