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Girls, would you date an FtM?

Started by Cody Jensen, April 23, 2012, 06:11:50 PM

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silly by the seashore

Quote from: Renee D on April 25, 2012, 05:21:54 PM
In all honesty, probably not.  I have nothing against them, but if I bother to get into a relationship, I'd rather it be with a cis guy, I've had enough trans stuff in my life already. The way it is now, the only time I really concern myself with anything trans related is here, the rest of my life and interactions with offline people don't involve it or the discussion of it whatsoever and I kind of like that.
My thoughts exactly.

And really, for a good while, I've not really wanted to date anyone, just not comfortable for me.
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Alyx Vox

I definitely would if he would be a person for me, the
rest is irrelevant. I think it's discriminative and very hypocrite
of transgirls not to give a guy a chance, based solely on the grounds
of gender identity. "I have enough of trans stuff in my life", please, what
kind of a pathetic excuse is that?

What matters is the person, nothing else matters.
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silly by the seashore

Quote from: Alyx Vox on November 25, 2012, 11:25:32 AM
I definitely would if he would be a person for me, the
rest is irrelevant. I think it's discriminative and very hypocrite
of transgirls not to give a guy a chance, based solely on the grounds
of gender identity. "I have enough of trans stuff in my life", please, what
kind of a pathetic excuse is that?

What matters is the person, nothing else matters.
It would only be hypocritical for me if I had issues with someone not wishing to date me solely because I'm trans. I don't.  People have their preferences for stuff, whether you think its pathetic or not, those preferences for that person are still valid and shouldn't be criticized just because you might feel differently. And I kind of wonder if once you have been transitioning or transitioned for a number of years if you will still feel the same way you do now. You may not and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't care for someone(damned kids) to call your reasons just a pathetic excuse.   

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~RoadToTrista~

Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on April 23, 2012, 07:06:51 PM
Sure if they fit my list of what I look for in a man. Some of those Youtube ftm's are fricken sexy, lolz.

I don't expect I ever will though. FtM's overall are rare, I don't know any in person. And though I'm not unrealistically picky, I still have a certain criteria that even most cismen don't fit, like physical attractiveness, personality, age, etc.
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Jamison

Quote from: ~RoadToTrista~ on November 25, 2012, 12:11:54 PM
I don't expect I ever will though. FtM's overall are rare, I don't know any in person. And though I'm not unrealistically picky, I still have a certain criteria that even most cismen don't fit, like physical attractiveness, personality, age, etc.

Pardon my curiosity, but do you think any of your criteria may be more difficult for FTMs to meet? I think logically much of the more physical qualities are easier found in those FTMs 2 years + on T.
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Padma

Have done, would do.
(This is a response to the topic title, not to any response - I joined late!)
Womandrogyneâ„¢
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~RoadToTrista~

Quote from: Jayboicurtis on November 25, 2012, 01:16:05 PM
Pardon my curiosity, but do you think any of your criteria may be more difficult for FTMs to meet? I think logically much of the more physical qualities are easier found in those FTMs 2 years + on T.

Well since I'm sure it's the same for FtM's in that everyone responds to T differently, then I guess some are at a disadvantage, yes. All the FtM's I've been attracted to are usually at a late stage in their transition. And things like height aren't really that big of a deal to me unless they're like, 4ft something, lulz
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tekla

What matters is the person, nothing else matters.

Lots and lots of other stuff matters.  A lot.  I know lots of people - persons, you know.  And I like most of them.  Some of them I love, and others - hey, I've given passing thought to a relationship, and there is NOTHING wrong with them really.  I just know it would not work out.

Common values, dreams (both want/don't want kids?  It's a huge and almost impossible thing to get over) and aspirations matter a lot.  As does some mutually agreed upon grounding (like shared religious/spiritual values). 

"I have enough of trans stuff in my life", please, what kind of a pathetic excuse is that?
I can honestly say (and I know others who do to) that I'm not dating anyone who is involved with the same life I am.  Because, exactly for that reason... "I have enough of that in my life."  One cop per family, one theater type per family, one writer  --- some things just get to be too much of a good thing.  And, like most of the people I know in the biz, my first wife (only wife, once is enough) was also in the biz.  It got overwhelming from time to time.  That, and there is no space to hide.

So I know a lot of people who put knowledge bases down (it's highly unlikely that a smart person and a not so bright person are going to make a go of it).  Though I don't think that one PhD needs another PhD (see above), but they do need to find someone with a similar kind of mind, one that is operational in the same basic ways.  I know a lot of other people who really want the person to have a real career - and that's not the just the money, it's having something in your life that the other person does not control, or reinforce.

So people what what they want.  Its' not right or wrong - it's not pathetic or humanitarian, or epic or any of that.  It's just people looking for what makes them happy.  That's all.
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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PHXGiRL

I would love to meet a sweet FTM. My ideal husband would be a FTM. They are just as rare as us though so I have no idea where I would find a nice mister out there. :(
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Jamison

Quote from: Serena Lynn on November 25, 2012, 02:43:02 PM
I would love to meet a sweet FTM. My ideal husband would be a FTM. They are just as rare as us though so I have no idea where I would find a nice mister out there. :(

For your info, Transqueernation.com is a "sausage fest" if I may use the term, haha.
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PHXGiRL

Quote from: Jayboicurtis on November 25, 2012, 02:48:28 PM
For your info, Transqueernation.com is a "sausage fest" if I may use the term, haha.

I will have to sheck it out! :D
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Tristan

sure i would. i like guys and FtoM are guys. so im all in
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Seana

I already do, so I guess the answer is yes!
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Brooke777

The guy I am dating is an FTM. He is early in his transition, only 3 months on T, and passes completely to me. He claims he is not a "manly man", but I think he is. I personally don't think there is any difference between a cismale and an FTM, other than the physical. They are all men.
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Alyx Vox

Quote from: silly by the seashore on November 25, 2012, 11:45:20 AM
It would only be hypocritical for me if I had issues with someone not wishing to date me solely because I'm trans. I don't.  People have their preferences for stuff, whether you think its pathetic or not, those preferences for that person are still valid and shouldn't be criticized just because you might feel differently. And I kind of wonder if once you have been transitioning or transitioned for a number of years if you will still feel the same way you do now. You may not and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't care for someone(damned kids) to call your reasons just a pathetic excuse.

There is a very fine line between "personal preferences" and discrimination.
I personally draw the line if a man of your dreams is ditched by you solely on the
grounds of his transsexual past. How would you know he were such a man if you don't even
give him a chance due to his transsexualism to begin with? In these regards you are discriminating and you are being a hypocrite, because you do not believe in that which you advocate.
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silly by the seashore

Quote from: Alyx Vox on November 25, 2012, 03:52:40 PM
There is a very fine line between "personal preferences" and discrimination.
I personally draw the line if a man of your dreams is ditched by you solely on the
grounds of his transsexual past. How would you know he were such a man if you don't even
give him a chance due to his transsexualism to begin with? In these regards you are discriminating and you are being a hypocrite, because you do not believe in that which you advocate.
So everyone who decides not to date someone due to any particular trait is hypocritical and its discrimination against them?  So no one should have preferences that you don't approve of?  And I stated already that I had no issue with anyone who chose to not date me due to me being trans. It may just not be their cup of tea or they may have some hangup about it, who knows, but its their business and I don't consider it transphobic or as discrimination. People should be able to determine who they will date based on what they want, no matter what anyone else thinks of it.

And again, how am I being a hypocrite?  What beliefs do you think I hold would provide a basis for that claim?  Or is it just a knee jerk reaction because you feel slighted that people may not want to date you or any of us simply because we are trans?  What have I advocated?  As far as I am aware, I have only ever said that people have a right to pick and choose who they wish to date based on whatever preferences they may have. Do you have some secret insight into my mind that I am completely unaware of while also being unaware of whatever belief you seem to claim is there that would contradict what I have stated here? 

And lastly, are you some kind of mind reading alien?  Cause if you are, I don't date those either, just for your information.


Dating is a whole different concept from being friends or relating to someone in a purely platonic sense. It involves romance and I have and everyone else has the full right of being as damn picky as I/they want to be and none of you/us have the right to claim its wrong of me/them to have such preferences. And I cannot recall a time that I have ever stated otherwise.
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Epoch

Well, to express it in terms of probable situations that could set things up so that there was no escape, if my current girlfriend told me that she wanted to become a male, I would still hold onto him because who he is at his core would still be there. If I ever loved him, it would hurt me too much to not have him around, male or female. So that being said, I don't see why I would not date a FtM.

I'm not sure if my opinion is valid or not since I am not classified as MtF or as a girl, but I do not really classify myself as male either. My example given above can be valid for either side if you adjust the genders to your liking.
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Devlyn

Let's take a break to cool down. Devlyn
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