Hello everyone. I'm a younger adult trans man/FtM. I have finally started to be honest with myself about this fact after having to hide it from abusive relatives I lived with growing up, then just denying it to myself out of habit and fear of rejection from my closest friends and cis, more closed minded family that actually wants to be in my life. I'm pre everything right now for financial reasons and pre bottom surgical because of cost and quite frankly, it just is not nearly as advanced as I would like it to be, especially for how expensive it is. I consider myself to be a rather flamboyant FtM. I identify as queer because I wear whatever I want regardless as to what gender it's aimed at, although I almost never wear dresses or skirts since it feels weird to me, unless it is something I was gifted by a family member or it just looks unisex and unique in some way. I also don't usually represent most stereotypes of either sex, I just am me and like what I like regardless as to whether society deems it "male" or "female". Sometimes I do get "alpha male" moments, I won't lie. I guess I could be described as a gender queer FtM.
I'm still trying to come out to trusted friends and family but none of them get it and insist on using the wrong pronouns, they just can't wrap their minds around the issue. Of course they are all cis gendered and were raised in strict cis, heteronormative society/families, so I don't harbor anger towards them and wouldn't unless they purposely were being disrespectful but I'm sure that isn't he case in most of their cases. Thank fully I have a partner who is understanding and is trying really hard to remember to use the proper pronouns and has actually mostly got it down pat quite quickly. I am incredibly lucky I realize to have a partner that is willing to work with me, the only person I really can talk much to about this sort of thing.
I'm a pretty open minded person and have been told I am very easy to talk to. I have a lot of people that trust me implicitly because I believe in being a trustworthy person. I do worry this will change when I start taking T because people might think I was lying to them before even though I never specifically said "I'm female" to them and never acted especially "girly" as society would deem it. Wearing clothing aimed at cis men hardly surprises most people I know because I've never dressed or been stereotypical effeminate in most ways. I enjoy socializing with people, more in person but am down to chat with people online as well.
