Maybe it's not such a little lie, and maybe not so white...maybe grey. Anyway.

I booked an appointment with an IC HRT clinic/doctor a few weeks ago, set for the eleventh of December. I've only told my friends about the actual purpose of the visit, though my dad found out that I'm going to 'therapy'. I accidentally let it slip that I was going to see a therapist (I didn't specify what kind, however), so now he thinks I'm going to a psychologist at an outside establishment or at school. Whenever he asks about my upcoming appointment, I simply tell him that what I'm going for is between me and my doctor, and that I'm not comfortable talking to him about it just now. I feel like I'm lying, but I don't know if I actually am. I never explicitly told him that I was going to see a psychologist. Merely that I'm going to a therapist for therapy.

I'm hoping that I can get on T soon after my visit, if not immediately (if anyone has experience with Dr. Thorp in Minneapolis, how quick is she to prescribe hormones, and how long does it take for blood work to come back?), and was planning on finally coming out to my Dad after starting. The major obstacle I'm facing, though, is that my father is mildly to moderately transphobic. I've never seen him clock somebody in public, though he has said some very hurtful things in the privacy of his apartment - nothing violent or threatening, but still very, very cissexist and ignorant.

Does anybody have ideas as to how I would approach this situation? Should I start dropping more hints than I have been, or start making them more obvious? I was originally thinking of giving him a letter and information (PFLAG pamphlet, maybe, and some sub->-bleeped-<-s, etc.) to read, and then suggesting some group therapy sessions for him to go to if he felt like he would need it. Maybe family counseling, if it comes down to it.

Good/bad idea?

If anyone has to come out to mildly/moderately transphobic family, how did you go about it, and how did it turn out?

I see Dr. Thorp ... if you have the letter she will prescribe you T right then and there.  My son walked into the apt with his letter and walked out with T.  I was a bit hesitant to start T ... so I walked out with a script for Depo to stop my periods since it was causing me so much dysphoria.  When I was ready I sent her a message on mychart (the online system park nicollet has) and she sent the script over to the pharmacy.  She is hard to get into - like up to 3 weeks so if you believe your going to have a letter I would call and set up an appointment. 

The blood work is usually back within the day.  She doesn't make you have blood work before you but has you do it three months after you start --- she starts off slow and increases your dosageage every three months or so until you in your in the optimum range.  It's nice b/c your body adjusts naturally and thus you are less likely to get the "t rage" and acne has been minimal for my son and I.

Quote from: Robert Scott on November 27, 2012, 03:13:02 PM
I see Dr. Thorp ... if you have the letter she will prescribe you T right then and there.  My son walked into the apt with his letter and walked out with T.  I was a bit hesitant to start T ... so I walked out with a script for Depo to stop my periods since it was causing me so much dysphoria.  When I was ready I sent her a message on mychart (the online system park nicollet has) and she sent the script over to the pharmacy.  She is hard to get into - like up to 3 weeks so if you believe your going to have a letter I would call and set up an appointment. 

The blood work is usually back within the day.  She doesn't make you have blood work before you but has you do it three months after you start --- she starts off slow and increases your dosageage every three months or so until you in your in the optimum range.  It's nice b/c your body adjusts naturally and thus you are less likely to get the "t rage" and acne has been minimal for my son and I.

I'm going to Dr. Thorp under the informed consent process. I was told it was a more direct way to get on T, which is what I'm hoping for due to increased frustration and dysphoria, and a general distrust of therapists after horrendous counseling sessions a few years ago that I went to due to extreme depression.

Do/did you go to the in-clinic pharmacy?

I have health insurance ... so I use Walmart .. it's close to my house .. it costs me $6 a script and it usually lasts me a couple months.

Last I heard, Dr. Thorp won't do informed consent -- you might call and check --- my understanding is she requires the letter

That's really weird. The initial reason I made an appointment with Dr. Thorp was because her name kept coming up repeatedly in Google searches and recommendation posts for IC...just to be safe, though, I'll call the clinic in the morning and make doubly sure.

I have had a great experience with thorp. In some cases,she prescribes without a letter, but usually she wants one. However, she provides a list of therapists more likely to provide a letter. I walked in, letter in hand, and walked out with a script. Follow up eight weeks later to review blood work and increase dose scheduled for this coming weeks. Labs tomorrow.  She's very kind and informative. Some find her cold, I just think she's highly left-brained. Come armed with questions, and she will answer them all.

It is your right to tell, or not tell, anyone (including your dad) about *any* medical event.

It is ok to withhold info if you feel you need to...if he is misled, that is his problem because he assumed things, based on your withholding info...but that is not lying, it is you exercising your right to divulge as much-or as little-info as you are comfortable with.

You did good, imho.

Quote from: delia_dunno on December 12, 2012, 12:57:25 PM
I have had a great experience with thorp. In some cases,she prescribes without a letter, but usually she wants one. However, she provides a list of therapists more likely to provide a letter. I walked in, letter in hand, and walked out with a script. Follow up eight weeks later to review blood work and increase dose scheduled for this coming weeks. Labs tomorrow.  She's very kind and informative. Some find her cold, I just think she's highly left-brained. Come armed with questions, and she will answer them all.

I had my appointment yesterday, and she was so awesome. Even during the physical, she was so nice and put me at ease (and having my friend there to distract me, helped). So I'm having my first shot on Friday. 

Quote from: Beth Andrea on December 12, 2012, 01:05:13 PM
It is your right to tell, or not tell, anyone (including your dad) about *any* medical event.

It is ok to withhold info if you feel you need to...if he is misled, that is his problem because he assumed things, based on your withholding info...but that is not lying, it is you exercising your right to divulge as much-or as little-info as you are comfortable with.

You did good, imho.

Thank you. That makes me feel so much better.