I've been on hrt for a little over a year but have no hope of transition because of my family, job, and such   So I've decided to try and stop hrt and be the best guy I can be. My wife and kids are supportive so we'll see what happens. I've decided not to get rid of things, but to put them in storage. This is going to suck big time... :''''(

Have your boobs grown?

Yes but not very much.

I am sorry I cannot feel positive. I've gone through several "mini-purges" as I call them when you basically work hard at supressing any and all desires and not allowing yourself any escapes. It sounds like for you, just as for me, you already know the outcome. No sense actually tossing stuff. You'll be back soon enough.

Ive been on/off HRT a few times over several decades. This last time I started once again knowing full well that there is no hope of transitioning for all the usual reasons one has after 50 some odd years of life. I started because I knew it would help with the emotional pains I was experiencing. Several times over these past 3 years I was hit with the "WTF are you doing?" Monty Python dead fish up the side of the head. Often leading to me cutting waaaaaay back to stopping HRT and almost total self-denial of my desires to present as Joanne. That cure was worse than disease.

YMMV

I know I have other options, realizable options for my happiness and joy that do not mean a transition to full-time. It is just hard for me to really see them. Just as it was for me to realize that I can be seen as and accepted as a woman in parts of the real world. (BTW-Also a reason for one of my purges so let's turn making a decision into a no need to decide  )

Do you have a therapist?

Reason I ask is that I have my own laundry list of issues why I "can't transition successfully."  But, I'm pressing forward anyway, and my therapist is crucial in helping me navigate my fears.  I don't believe I can do this, but I do believe that it is possible, and that I can end up in a mindset where I will believe that I *can* do this.

You deserve to be you, whatever that means and however it pans out.