A female cousin was in California on business yesterday and my two older sisters, a brother-in-law, my wife and her mother, and me all got together for a lunch date.

I've been on HRT 4 ½ months, and except for my wife no one who was there knows about me.  I still have a  short beard for reasons that aren't important in this, but even with that the comments I got were quite interesting.  The compliments were tossed into the conversation very randomly as we sat and talked for more than an hour.

The comments were:

Every now and then my cousin would stare at me , and say something similar to  "I like the new look.  Besides trimming the beard, whatever you did looks a lot better.  And I like the ponytail."  She did this at least 4 times during the meal, and once as we said goodbye.

One sister said "You look much younger somehow.  I guess your face changed a bit from loosing weight.  Maybe it's thinner, but you look more even in some way."

The other sister just blurted out  "My god Joe, you really look good and healthy."

My brother-in-law said "Retirement is being good to you Joe.  You're looking younger.  It's good."


Although I was flattered and happy that my appearance might have changed, I brushed the comments off with a polite "Thank you, I'm taking better care of myself ."  JoAnn kept quiet about these little statements, but when asked directly how she liked what I've done, she said in a somewhat disapproving way "I guess it's o.k. for now."   It's clear that JoAnn was hurt by all this since she's loosing Joe as I become Kathy.  I need to talk to her this morning and get some of our frustration out before we stew on it too much.  Especially since I have another injection appointment at 10 AM and these upset her

JoAnn and I are seeing my therapist together for the first time on Tuesday.  I'm really happy about this, but my stress is building.  There's some real dark stuff in my past, and I've told the therapist most of it, but no one should ever hear a few things.  And the thought of having any of that come up is weighing on me.  I know the therapist obviously won't say anything about what she already knows, but it's bugging me that I have  a couple extreamly dark and painful secrets that I buried for real good reasons.  I can barely stand to think of them.   

The part about JoAnn and me is just some musing on life as it is now.   But, on the first part of this post  I'm wondering if anyone my age (old) got similar comments from relatives. 

Kathy

Quote from: kathy b on November 30, 2012, 09:37:05 AM
Every now and then my cousin would stare at me , and say something similar to  "I like the new look.  Besides trimming the beard, whatever you did looks a lot better.  And I like the ponytail." 

I've unofficially come out at work.  Never thought I would transition, never even try to pass, but here I am on the way.  My partner was always on my case about not hiding my shape, be proud of my breasts and take care of them.  Even when I was camouflaging myself at work -- layering etc. -- she said most of the women knew anyway.  Then when I started inducing lactation this past summer (breasts got larger rapidly) I had to start binding my breasts at work to stay in "boy" mode.   Then through a crazy combination of events my boss and I came to an agreement that I could dress how I felt comfortable, which means I can now wear my bra at work.  She was pretty cool about it.  It hurt so much to bind.

So the funny thing now is that, along the lines of your post, K, I am occasionally getting unexpected compliments from female coworkers, similar to what you experienced.  How terrific I look, how glad they are that I am taking care of my health, sometimes just a huge smile for no reason.  Just because I am no longer hiding my shape.

And of course my partner is always supportive; she works in the same place.

And I am kind of doing things in reverse.  The boobs are out front for everyone to see now, but small things are now big steps.  I am trying to grow my hair out now so that I can grow a ponytail, like you.  Earrings.  Small things, small steps that seem so big.  I am just not ever going to be dainty or ladylike, but my mom was pretty and I have her body, pretty much, so maybe I can aim for that.

Anyway, good interesting post, K.

Besides those comments I also get a few more polite smiles from people I've been dealing with for a long time.  Plus I pretty much wear any of my old clothes now, and a lot of the shirts let the girls protrude.  Although I hide them around most of the family (come out at the end of the month) it doesn't matter to me anymore when I go shopping or run errands around town.  I know something about my face has also changed, even if I barely see it.  Asked my wife if she saw a difference on Friday and she got upset that I asked about such a rediculous thing. .....  Oh well.   

You're lucky your SO is supportive and willing to help.  It'll make your future transition plans much easier.

Take care.
Kathy