I knew when I was applying to schools as a transfer student I would need letters of recommendation. One of my professor's already wrote me one but did not use pronouns at all. He just used my name instead of he,him,his etc but I haven't told him about being trans whatsoever so I think he just gets it. On the other hand, my english professor from last year, used she and her in my letter of recommendation. I took her class as I was just starting my transition but after writing one of my essays about being trans, I figured she knew but apparently she didn't.

I really don't know what to do here because I have gone through all my changes (except name,still waiting on that to go through) including top surgery and being on T and I was planning on going in as stealth to this college and on my application. I guess if I submit it without a personal statement, they may ask about the pronouns and I could just use the excuse that it was an error in typing because of my first name (which is really girly) or they might not even notice. I just have NO IDEA about what to do here.

I would talk to that professor and clearly explain the situation. That you need the letter either written in male pronouns or with no pronouns at all because when you attend the University you will be doing so as a male. It is imperative not only for your ease of mind but also with your safety in mind. Tell her you are in the process of legally changing your gender on all of your documents so that letter will raise questions as it won't reflect who you are. Good Luck!

Maybe it would be a good idea to ask her to rewrite it. If thats not what you want to do, is the letter written in her handwritting or was it typed on the computer? If it was typed on the computer can you scan it and then edit all the "she's" to "he's"?

It is a typed letter. I thought about scanning it and changing the pronouns but if the college figures out that I edited it, I might get in trouble for doing that but I'm not totally sure.

...just talk to her in private. There are going to be occasions where you have to discuss these things with people. More than likely she's going to say "ok" and get you another one.

I would just type it out again with your correct pronouns, either scan or download a copy of your schools badge to put at the top if it has one and just use that.  If they query it -- which they shouldn't because it's all her words except for a couple of pronouns -- you can just say that you did it for your safety or something, but it shouldn't ring any alarm bells as long as it's nicely done.  Even if they query it and phone up you current school and quote a bit of it, even to the teacher who got your pronouns wrong, the chances of her picking up on the pronoun change are pretty slim, she would probably just hear the words and say "yeah I wrote that."

Then again I did edit a school report to say that I loved physics practicals instead of hated them to help me get into college...

Quote from: Simon on December 10, 2012, 05:01:06 PM
...just talk to her in private. There are going to be occasions where you have to discuss these things with people. More than likely she's going to say "ok" and get you another one.

This.

I'll just have to send her an email then. She's an adjunct professor so she isn't on campus besides for the classes she is currently teaching but I'm not in any of them.

When I applied to colleges, it was the rules that the professors/teachers send the letters themselves; probably to avoid having the student edit the letter.

I would just tell her that you're trans and ask her to change the letter to have male pronouns.

Quote from: kenton_07 on December 10, 2012, 04:49:42 PM
It is a typed letter. I thought about scanning it and changing the pronouns but if the college figures out that I edited it, I might get in trouble for doing that but I'm not totally sure.

If you do that then you will be accused of manipulating a reference letter. I am actually a little perplexed your teacher gave you the letter back. Many colleges do not allow a student to read the letter before they send it out.

Just talk to her and tell her you're transgender and to fix the pronouns.  Unfortunately, if you still use your legal name and dress as a guy that isn't enough. You need to let them know to use the appropriate pronouns because not everyone will know you plan on transitioning.

don't edit her letter of recommendation. People can find out. Even if you were accepted and they found out three years later they will remove you from the institution. Altering letters of recommendation is just as bad as plagiarizing on a paper or lying on a resume...even if all you did was change the pronouns.

Just go to her and ask her to redo it.

I'm sorry that this has happened to you. School can be stressful enough for some people, let alone having to worry about what others write about you.

Definitely, do NOT alter the letter. In some schools, this actually would be grounds for expulsion because you are falsifying documentation to gain acceptance to their school although I doubt that they would do so in this case. 

My initial thoughts were rather different from others. Why did you choose this teacher? I aim to choose teachers that I know well and who I can trust will write me a great letter of recommendation. How well do you know her? Will she remember your paper about trans issues? If either of your responses are positive to those questions then I would approach her to discuss the letter because you have enough of a relationship to address the issue. If you just took one course and did well, aren't there other teachers you could ask? Regardless, whether you chat with this prof or another one about getting a letter, you need to address the issue with them in some way, shape, or form before you get your next letter from them so that things go more smoothly.

All the best, and good luck! let us know how it goes.

I must echo what others are saying--do NOT edit the letter. Get hold of the prof ASAP and talk to her. Do you have her e-mail address? If she is an adjunct who isn't teaching at that school anymore, you might be able to track her down through another school. You can probably do this yourself, but PM me if you run into difficulty. I have some tricks up my sleeve that you might not have thought of.

When I started my transition and applied for teaching positions, I explicitly asked my recommenders to remember to use male pronouns. You can't really assume that people will "figure it out" on their own if you aren't obviously male. (However, when I was applying to grad schools, pre-transition but with a male name, one of my profs asked me which pronoun to use. I'm still flattered that he asked.)

Def do not edit. They may well have sent a copy anyway. Ask her to modify it it isn't a big thing for the Prof, probably did it on auto-pilot.

I'm not going to edit the letter because I am too self conscious and it is just plain illegal. One of my current professors just offered to write me a letter of recommendation as well and I said yes. I will have his recommendation on Thursday and I plan on comparing the two to see which one might be better. If the letter with the female pronouns is written better, I will email the teacher and ask her to change the pronouns.

Thank you for all of your inputs. I was a little worried and kind of freaked out a little bit about this whole situation. I've never had this happen before because all of my teachers see me as male except for this one but it is okay now. You all helped me in feeling more comfortable about the situation so thank you very much!

I'm glad you are feeling better about your situation and finding a solution. But I must admit that I am curious and concerned. Most schools prefer (or even insist on) confidential letters, and most profs who write confidential letters do not pass them along to the people they recommend. If they do, they seal them up in a departmental envelope and sign their name over the seal so that the prospective school knows that the letter has not been tampered with. This is what I do whenever a student needs to submit the letter directly--and I rarely give the letter directly to the student.

I myself have used letters from about ten different profs, all told, and I think only one has ever let me see it--and no prof has ever just given me the letter to submit myself. So make sure you are following the procedure set out by the school. It could be that the school you have in mind is very laid back about such things. But if that's the case, I'm wondering how reputable it is!

Just some thoughts.

I do agree with Arch. Nowadays if I'm asked for a letter of recommendation I give the student writing in notice that I shall so, they can inform the school whatever with my contact details (email normally). The school then asks me to post a reference in one of their secretarial sites.

Job references are similar, a written reference handed in by the applicant is not worth the paper it is written on, in my opinion.

Just as a complete aside, when you start to use referees for jobs and the like, make sure you update them regularly. I was asked to be a referee for a student that I taught 6-7 years ago and I had to say that I no longer knew them.

The professor gave me two letters in sealed envelopes with her signature on the back. I didn't really think of the pronouns until the last minute so to hold the letter under the light to see if I could see anything in regards to referring to me as female which she did so I opened one of the letters just to be sure. I know that is probably wrong and I normally would not open a letter but I saw this as circumstance where I would have to in order to be sure.

Quote from: kenton_07 on December 12, 2012, 08:42:57 AM
The professor gave me two letters in sealed envelopes with her signature on the back. I didn't really think of the pronouns until the last minute so to hold the letter under the light to see if I could see anything in regards to referring to me as female which she did so I opened one of the letters just to be sure. I know that is probably wrong and I normally would not open a letter but I saw this as circumstance where I would have to in order to be sure.

Yeah...that might be a problem.

Quote from: kenton_07 on December 12, 2012, 08:42:57 AM
The professor gave me two letters in sealed envelopes with her signature on the back. I didn't really think of the pronouns until the last minute so to hold the letter under the light to see if I could see anything in regards to referring to me as female which she did so I opened one of the letters just to be sure. I know that is probably wrong and I normally would not open a letter but I saw this as circumstance where I would have to in order to be sure.

see..i didn't know you opened one of her confidential recommendation envelopes. That's actually really bad. You're never suppose to do that. It's a breach of trust against your teacher...even if you were looking for pronouns. You could get into trouble with this...even at your current school.

If I were you, I would ask another teacher. I would not go to her and ask to redo it because if you do, then she would know you opened her concealed confidential letter...honestly, if I was her I would be pissed and would not write another....I would probably take it to our ethics board.

I recommend you to go to another teacher....tell that teacher to put male pronouns and hope that the original teacher doesn't find out you "snooped around."

I just hope you read this before going back to her.