Hey everyone,
Where to start!? This is my first FTM forum, I am almost 35 years old and am living in stealth to everyone except family, my partner and her family. I'm afraid this initial post is going to be a wall of text, and I apologise for that, I searched for a spoiler code but could not find it (;
I've known I was a bloke since I was probably five years old, my earliest memories are playing cowboys and cowgirls with twin next door neighbours and I was the cowboy (rawr) which worked well back then as my chest was non existent (how I miss those days!). I never thought that transition was possible so I figured my dream of being a man was exactly that, so I went through various phases of internal struggle, including but not limited to believing I was a lesbian. That definitely worked to some degree, I mean, I love women and LOVE LOVING them..but as soon as it came to them touching me, that opened up another can of worms. Needless to say that didn't work out, and I finally figured out the path I was meant to go down. It was the era of the internet so I joined
gay.com and
butch-femme.com, met some great people and gained a lot of insight into who I was and who I wanted to become.
Roughly seven and a half years ago I had "the talk" with my Mum and explained as well as I could how I felt. She was very understanding, given that she already accepted the whole "lesbian thing", my Dad wasn't so accepting, he wasn't accepting of the "lesbian" thing either so that wasn't much of a surprise. Not much longer after that I started at a new job and met my current partner. She was instantly attracted to me and had no idea about where I was at in life, we got to know each other as friends first as we travelled in the same circles. When we finally got together, which took a loooong time, I didn't have to explain anything to her. She treated me like I was her boyfriend and respected my boundaries without me even needing to explain them. My partner is not and has never been a lesbian (although it is what her family now call her, and refuse to acknowledge me as a male despite us constantly telling them and has pretty much caused a fallout between us all). She is the first person that has truly *got* me without any if's and's or but's and I thank the powers that be every single day that they brought me such an understanding, unbelievably beautiful person.
It was about a year after us getting together that I started hormone therapy and I have not had any surgeries yet. I am on sustanon injections every 2 weeks. It's been almost 6 years on hormones now for me which I guess is my main reason for joining this forum aside from the fact that apart from my partner and family I really haven't had a support network, which I think is really what I need right now. I need to be around people going through the same thing that can maybe give me some direction. I have so many questions and issues that need addressing and there's really nowhere locally that I can go.
I'm not going to jam pack my post with the questions now, as I really feel as that would be taking advantage. I do hope to be an active member of the community and hopefully can give as much as I take.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope to make many new friends (:
