OK I'm well known and I try hard but I still get frightened.


It is Christmas time in Australia and around the world. What a coincidence.

In Australia Christmas time tends to have office parties and the end of school,  University year, which is out of sync with Eskimo half of the Planet. You Guys close down in July-September?

We close December to Feb.

So we have the congratulatory speeches mixed in with the Christmas drink. A really bad combination.

This year has been special for me as many people know. I went full time.

One of the other special things was that I was awarded an extremely large science grant.

I have a fantastic research and diagnostic group who work with me. They were successful.

So on Friday the University where I have an Academic appointment wants to award me with an Honour for achieving academic success and contributions to the school.

It will be at Christmas Drinks.

I'm told everyone in the University knows and understands about me going full time as female; after being known as male for 25+ years by the same groups.(I can see pigs fly already).

I thought about not going.

So I bought a nice skirt and top. Nice and stand out without going all girly. Adult feminine with a fling.

I'm going to go.

The photos will be picked up by the local media.

It will start.

The Uni Prof who had a sex change

How can I not go?

Wish me luck, whatever that is.

Pause

To be honest I'm looking forward to it. There is nothing like writing your thoughts down to let you appreciate where you are coming from.

And no one stops Cindy.

That's a bit of a pickle.. I'd go, but that's me.

It occurs to me that there the story is there whether you go or not..

Just go as you, can't go as anyone else.

Good luck

Might be good leave the branding irons at home.
Could make a different headline if you don't.

J

Quote from: kelly_aus on December 12, 2012, 04:07:25 AM
That's a bit of a pickle.. I'd go, but that's me.

It occurs to me that there the story is there whether you go or not..

What are you doing Friday night I may need a friend to scream at

Quote from: Cindy James on December 12, 2012, 04:18:50 AM
What are you doing Friday night I may need a friend to scream at

I'll be home.. You've got my number if you need me, sis. 

I'm going to do this.

FKM

Quote from: Cindy James on December 12, 2012, 04:34:59 AM
I'm going to do this.

FKM

And if you need someone to hold your hand, let me know.. I'd be more than happy to.

You've got nothing to hide. But don't ignore your fear, just don't hand it the steering wheel. Oh, and have a bloody great time .

Congrats on the Honour... and knock 'em dead!

I firmly believe the only way forward is to just go for it, and stuff everyone else.

Quote from: Cindy James on December 12, 2012, 04:34:59 AM
I'm going to do this.

FKM

You have huge courage, and I admire you SO MUCH for overcoming your fear and being yourself. Go for it!!

As FDR said "We have nothing to fear, but fear its self.

And you know what fear means.  Forge Endurance And Rise. (PG rating)

Knock 'em dead Cindy!

I know it's easier to tell someone else to do it than to do it yourself, but I'd hope that I'd go. And I know you will because you're a very strong woman. If you weren't out, you'd go. Why should it be different now?

Honors, a lot like court dates, tend to be things that people who get them don't really want, but you're stuck with them anyway as there is no way to really rescind the award.  It not like people who face fear aren't afraid, they just find something to help them move past that.  Sometimes the trick is in not minding that it hurts.  Yeah, you'll be the center of attention and all that, and like most people who get stuck in the limelight you don't want it, but... if you're going to play, play big or stay home.  If all eyes are going to be on you then make sure they have something to look at.  Might as well be the star if you're going to be the star.  At those times I try to remind myself of the Carly Simon line from 'You're So Vain' where she starts: "You walked into the party like you were walking onto a yacht."  So own it.   As someone said, the story is going to be there anyway, so anything you could do to push it in a favorable way you should do it.

It is my personal opinion that going only validates you are just a hard working successful woman who so richly deserves the honors you are about to receive. Is it any wonder why I look up to you.

I hope you update your photo with the new outfit.

If that didn't convince you. Please read below. It's a small portion of a message you sent me when I  first joined.

"What have I gained? A life, respect both self and from others, love, support, laughs and good times, friends, a new wardrobe that is ever expanding (sorry put a loss of money in the paragraph above),  self confidence, increased work ethic, the ability to lead and command respect without consciously doing anything different, guys opening doors for me, sleep and dreams."

Let the world see what we do!



Maelan

Well I went and the Dean made a presentation

This is an extract of his comments from his blog:

Associate Professor Me

"She has single-handedly ensured that the most up-to-date equipment is available for the benefit of patients and researchers."
"Her inputs and outputs have contributed significantly to the research performance of the School."
"She is always willing to share her very considerable expertise with others."
"Has mentored countless Honours and PhD students, as well as being a sought-after supervisor in her own right."
"Carries a very substantial diagnostics service load."
"She not only manages to maintain her own research program, she advises, trains and assists the 50-odd University researchers who use the flow cytometry suite for their own research."



I received lots of applause and many people have called by to congratulate me.

I felt quite honoured

Girls Rock!

Right on.  It is nice when people notice.  And I'm sure that only scratches the surface.  Way to go there, another Catholic School success story (you're making up for all of the other lost sheep who have lost their way)


Baaaa Baaaaaa.

Congrats and another example of how our worst fears rarely materialize.

Quote from: tekla on December 20, 2012, 11:19:52 PM
Right on.  It is nice when people notice.  And I'm sure that only scratches the surface.  Way to go there, another Catholic School success story (you're making up for all of the other lost sheep who have lost their way)


Baaaa Baaaaaa.

One of the interesting features was that the male thingy of me had fear. I didn't.  I do not have any split personality disorder just a way of putting forward my thoughts.

I doubt that the male thing would have gone to the ceremony it would have been too worried about acceptance.

It was mentioned too me, at a separate occasion,  that our none TG psyches are narcissistic and they cannot operate in a 'real world' ,obviously a very simplistic comment, but for me it may account some of my professional and social interactions.

The jury is out and I'm not calling it in.