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Peeing Dysphoria?

Started by LearnedHand, December 14, 2012, 08:10:06 PM

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DriftingCrow

I tried searching old threads to see if anything came up, but most peeing/bathroom dysphoria threads have to do with FTMs using urinals.

I seem to have a problem where I just can't use a bathroom if anyone is around and may hear me taking a leak, although I am fine in women's restroom that have other people in there (unless it's just me and one girl standing there creepily). At work, we have really thin walls and from any of our desks, we can hear everything that goes on in the bathrooms, so I just can't go at work. The same if I am at someones house and it's really quiet, no one is talking, the TV isn't on... I'd rather be thirsty or hold it all day than have to use the bathrooms there. It's like there's a part of my brain that says "Ah! If I go pee everyone will know what's between my legs!" Which is a completely ridiculous thought, because everyone already views me as female, so what's the harm of going pee?

Just wondering if anyone else had a similar problem pre-transitioning, and if using STPs (for FTMs) or surgery or just being viewed as female (for MTFs) made any difference?
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DeeperThanSwords

I'm not even sure if I'd want to go standing up, even if I fully transitioned. I'm very private about bathroom stuff.
"Fear cuts deeper than swords."



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Adrian_Michael

I panic when out in public. I don't pass at all. I'll either go to the girl's room, or hold it. I fear getting beat if I show up in the guys room, and figured being pegged as a butch lesbian isn't too far off the beaten path to be super dysphoric.

Because I had surgery in that area(unrelated to transition), I CAN'T go without, as I can break myself(for lack of a better way of putting it). Mind you, the post pee routine is quite a bit dysphoric, and I have issues with that time of the month, but the peeing itself, I just recognize as a necessary evil.
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Freyja_Joro

It's hard for Cis Gender Males as well, don't worry. I'm not talking about me, a few friends of mine keep telling me that they can't pee when people talk around them or anything. Guys are very private in the washroom.

Rules:

1: Don't talk

2: Don't Watch

3: Don't Stare.
What's the point of following the path society told you to follow if you're lost anyway? Take the unbeaten path.
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aleon515

Wondering if an STP would help you. It sounds like if you are worried about the sound the pee makes, maybe not entirely logically but who said this was all logical. You can diy or use an already made one.

My advice PRACTICE AT HOME first, no clothes maybe in the shower. Some of us do not have the anatomy for this.

--Jay
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Jenny07

I also have a thing about it but from a MtF perspective.
I really dislike standing up to pee and when possible choose a stall for privacy. Never had to worry about leaving the seat up.
Not that I have anything the worry about down there if I was not mtf, but by standing it continually reinforces the male bits that I have at the moment and desperately want refashioned.
I have always felt like this and this is my way of coping for the moment.
So long and thanks for all the fish
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dalebert

Quote from: Freyja_Joro on December 14, 2012, 09:13:59 PM
Guys are very private in the washroom.

Rules:

1: Don't talk

2: Don't Watch

3: Don't Stare.

This is very true. I have lightened up some and I am fairly comfortable talking to a good friend while peeing but it's weird when a stranger starts chatting me up at a urinal. The vast majority of guys don't like it. Also, it is completely unacceptable to be into anyone's business when they're in a stall. Guys will not be speculating about what you're doing in a stall. Guys in a restroom mostly have tunnel vision.

aleon515

Quote from: Jenny07 on December 15, 2012, 02:39:02 AM
I also have a thing about it but from a MtF perspective.
I really dislike standing up to pee and when possible choose a stall for privacy. Never had to worry about leaving the seat up.
Not that I have anything the worry about down there if I was not mtf, but by standing it continually reinforces the male bits that I have at the moment and desperately want refashioned.
I have always felt like this and this is my way of coping for the moment.

I know re: Mtf that STP would be exactly the wrong thing to suggest.
AFAIK, Learned Hand is ftm, so that's why I suggested stp devices.. I am not altogether good at it. But it might work for LH.

--Jay
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Simon

Nope, you're not alone. Even though I know cis males often pee sitting down I still sit on the toilet waiting for the chance when nobody else is in there and then go. If the bathroom is constantly occupied with someone else I'll flush...pee while the flush is going on, wipe, and then flush after I am done. I figure that way if anyone had to guess what I was doing it would seem like a "courtesy flush" many people do while taking a dook.
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DriftingCrow

A few years ago, I heard a story on the BBC that women in Japan are so embarassed about using public restrooms that they just sit there and repeatedly flush the toliet as they go; so someone invented something like this: http://www.chipchick.com/2010/04/toilet-noise-blocker.html that just makes flushing noises. LMAO
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AdamMLP

All the girls at my old school used to run the tap really fast while using the toilet. I used to just think that they were doing it for a laugh until I saw someone tell someone else to put it on. I've never had that problem myself, only being worried my parents would recognise the sound when I try to stp.
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Seb

If you are worried about what others may think of you...don't be. Girl's aren't going to say "that sounds like a man peeing" unless you are standing up. I know my cis fiancee pees sitting down and I can't even hear anything because of the way things hit the toilet bowl. In fact that is much luckier than with what my parts are downstairs, since female organs tend to get in the way of things and it kind of makes a whistling noise if you're going like a racehorse. :P Most girls are pretty quiet about it, but...don't worry, lots of girls are pee shy and always wait for the other person to start going! At least that's what I have noticed. When I was more insecure and using female bathrooms, I would scoot ahead a bit so it didn't make any noises. :P

When it boils down to it... no one is going to care what you sound like in the toilet, girls want to get done with it as quickly as boys do, though they are more apt to stay longer outside of the stall, fixing hair and whatnot.
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Eleanor

I always felt disgusted at peeing standing up, probably because I subconsciously equated it so strongly with equipment that I hated. And I haven't done it since I was... ten, maybe? If it helps, I can safely say that alas, nobody saw me as female upon learning that I peed sitting down. :( So I don't think anyone is going to read too much into you using bathroom stalls as a man.

Quote from: LearnedHand on December 15, 2012, 05:40:55 PM
A few years ago, I heard a story on the BBC that women in Japan are so embarassed about using public restrooms that they just sit there and repeatedly flush the toliet as they go; so someone invented something like this: http://www.chipchick.com/2010/04/toilet-noise-blocker.html that just makes flushing noises. LMAO

I think I've seen those, actually. :'D Or something like them. I nudged a button on the wall once when I was using the toilet at the university, and a little speaker started making fairly loud running water sounds. I figured it was maybe to encourage you if you were having trouble going or something, but in hindsight it's quite possible it was there for the same reason as was mentioned in the article. :'D
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John Smith

Where I live most public washrooms have closed stalls, floor to roof. If there was a gap, I'd feel a little awkward in the beginning, but it passed. Last time I was travelling, and using several washrooms (tiny bladder, yo) with gaps between the walls and floor, I decided to do a little experiment.. and try to listen to other guys. I know, creepy, yeah? XD Anywhoo, there was just no way in hell I could tell whether anyone was sitting down or standing up or balancing on their hands.

Went and got me a ticker, so everytime I post I'm reminded to put down whatever I was about to eat. >.>
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