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Going full time (finally transitioning at work)

Started by holly, December 16, 2012, 05:56:43 PM

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holly

So I've recently gone part time (everywhere but work) and it has gone even better than I could possibly have hoped. I've had amazing reactions from friends and family, and I don't even get a second glance in public so I must be passing.
I was at a party on the weekend with some people I hadn't see for about 6 months and not one of them even recognised me! So that's a really great feeling and a sign that things are going well.

I must have hit a tipping point recently, because even when trying to look like a boy at work, my customers suddenly think I'm a girl. It was almost overnight, one day everyone was calling me mate and sir, then suddenly it was miss and ma'am and 'let's ask this young lady'. I even had someone yell out 'hey mate', and when I turned around he said 'omg sorry I thought you were a guy!' As you can imagine this has done wonders for my confidence and self esteem!
It also means that I'm probably at the point that I should be transitioning at work as well. It's a reasonably big place with around 500 staff, and they have been amazingly supportive over the last few weeks that they've known.

My problem:
Although I apparently look female to anyone who doesn't know me, people who see me every day have only seen gradual changes and still see the boy I used to be. I'm going to transition at work on New Year's Day, so I'll be 100% me from Jan 1. But I don't want to just come in with a new ID badge and say 'everyone call me Holly now'. I want to look different somehow, and unfortunately, our (horrible) unisex uniform doesn't help.

So to get to the point, any suggestions of the sort of things you can change overnight to look like a new person? Haircut, eyebrows, new earrings, those sort of things?
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Brooke777

I just went full time at the start of this month. What I did was discuss it with HR and management. They held a meeting and explained what a transsexual is and provided documentation. I worked from home for two days, and when I came back I was me. Even though I work in a very conservative environment, it went really well. I have had no issues at all.  Good luck.
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Kadri

Makeup!!!! 

Unless of course you already look so beautiful that you don't need it. Pity about the uniforms.

Pretty earrings and a bracelet, or maybe even a new hairstyle might do the trick.

On my last ever night watch shift (as a man) I had to change for a class, and I just went off to the toilets and gave myself a makeup job, put on my bra and chicken fillets (didn't have much in the way of breasts back then) and wore the same jeans and t-shirt I had had on at night. Changed my glasses, and put on a bit of casual jewellery, and "hey presto, instant Kadri!
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Saffron

Use eyeliner, that would change your look a lot.
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Medusa

I had similar experience, it was so easy to become me (it just become) and scary to tell it at work
I begin to wear bracelets, big earrings and eyeliner
ask boss if it will be ok to change name
then wrote email to those I sit in office that I'll become be new me  ;D
and change ID
it was smooth and I thing little expected  ::)
now I stop wearing bracelets, big earrings and eyeliner, I'm just a common girl and noone cares
IMVU: MedusaTheStrange
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Misato

I'm taking off on the 11th to get hair extensions in prep for my going full time on the 14th.  I thought of getting my eyebrows threaded but the hair extensions are going to be more pricey than I'd like.  Still... I know getting the caterpillars above (at least my) eyes tamed can work wonders! So we'll see what I actually end up doing.

Sorry to hear about the uniform.  Other suggestions for accessorizing sounds like a real good idea to me.  Kadri, I like the glasses note too.
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holly

Ugh. I typed this nice reply and my stupid iPad refreshed the page and lost everything. So here goes again.

Thanks for your suggestions, some really good ideas :)

I've been wearing my old boy glasses to work so changing them should make a difference. And a little make up will help, though its a pretty physical job so I won't be too glamourous every day. And I'm absolutely hopeless with eyeliner, everything else is fine but i really struggle with it for some reason. I've made myself a deal that I'll get my head around it for New Years, because it does make such a difference!

Same for the jewellery. I can wear a little, but nothing too dangly that will get caught :(

I was thinking of getting my hair done, but it might be tricky to get an appointment at that time of year. I'll give them a call today anyway and see how it goes. Wish me luck!

I finally got around to getting my ears pierced about a month ago, so they should be ready to change for something a little more pretty at New Years (that's the plan anyway).

Work have been really amazing about it all, I told some key people a couple of months ago, and the rest of the staff 4 or 5 weeks ago, and I've had nothing but support. It's really humbling to know that everyone is so open minded and supportive. They made it almost a non event. I told them and they were like "sure ok, we're 100% behind you, what do you need from us?"
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holly

I'd love to get hair extensions, you'll have to let me know how they go, Misato33
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Constance

Quote from: Brooke777 on December 16, 2012, 06:00:04 PM
I just went full time at the start of this month. What I did was discuss it with HR and management. They held a meeting and explained what a transsexual is and provided documentation. I worked from home for two days, and when I came back I was me. Even though I work in a very conservative environment, it went really well. I have had no issues at all.  Good luck.
My situation was quite similar. I took a week's vacation and while I was out the announcement was made that David would be returning to work as Constance.

And I just showed up as the real me and kept on working. That was 27 September 2011.

peky

It is very refreshing to hear stories of success and victory. Congratulations to you Holly and to all of you working Ladies.
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generous4

Quote from: holly on December 16, 2012, 05:56:43 PM
...they have been amazingly supportive over the last few weeks that they've known.

So to get to the point, any suggestions of the sort of things you can change overnight to look like a new person? Haircut, eyebrows, new earrings, those sort of things?

Holly, I had a slightly different experience, because I did a rather large thing compared to haircut and earrings. 

I had been binding my breasts at work, doing the boy mode thing.  But I am getting fairly large now, and besides that, it really hurts to bind.  So the boss and I discussed it, plus my partner (she works in same department), and my boss said I should be comfortable and dress accordingly.  I even said that I would want to wear my bra, and she said, "Why not?  We all wear one.  It's normal."  It was so good to hear my boss include me in like that and take that supportive approach, and I was so happy to hear her say it that way.  So my "change overnight" move was simply to stop binding and wear my bra normally and not hide my breasts anymore.  We have an business-casual dress code, so it works OK.   

My partner has been egging me to do it for a long time, so now I am officially out there at work. 

And I had to giggle a bit with your post on haircut and earrings.  Those are the small things I am only now feeling more and more confident about, although we are not going to discuss my hair situation.  :o 

As to clothing, I am switching to more feminine colors for my tops, though the boy tops are still OK.   Also working in the new pants -- I like that cut, much more comfortable.  (More padding in the hips now  ;) )

Partner has been so helpful for this; she  always advocates for more complete transition, so we keep expanding as I feel more confident.  It's good.
All great things are simple, and many can be expressed in single words: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.    
          - Winston Churchill
http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/34328.html
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