I'm not sure I'm posting in the correct forum, but the "SO" for parents hasn't been active for years.  I thought I could briefly share my story and receive some feedback. 

Six months ago, at the end of 7th grade, my oldest daughter sat me down and told me she felt like a boy trapped in a girls body.  (This was a bit shocking, but we always referred to her as a Tomboy.)  I immediately found her a therapist who had experience with LGBT youth.  (I believe he is transexual.)  My daughter had 5 sessions with him and because my husband didn't approve of my choosing of therapists or his "alternative lifestyle" we then sought out a female therapist (widowed with grown kids).  After one session, *Natalie, didn't care for this therapist.  I took Natalie to her appointment last night and she was dropped.  After much debate with my husband, he has agreed to allow her to see a gay therapist who specializes in gender identity issues, depression, anxiety, LGBT kids, etc.

I've told Natalie, "I don't care what you are, I love you unconditionally."  At this point, she's adamant about coming out her freshmen year in high school.  I'm TERRIFIED for her and want her to wait until after she graduates from high school.  She's almost 14.  My husband and I are in agreement that we will not allow any hormone blockers or "T" therapy.  NOT until she's 18 and graduated from the school district she's been attending since ECFE classes.  We are fortunate to live in a school district ranked top five in the state.  Natalie is an honor student - has been all of middle school thus far, so moving or transferring schools is not an option.

As her Mom, my heart breaks for her.  The sleepless nights, the tears, the worry...the arguments with her father - how on EARTH is this a choice?!? 

Thank you for listening.  I'm a concerned Mom - hence my screen name,  wanting to do the best I can for my child.

Michelle

I have to say, I'm a little concerned with dishing out therapists like some additive in a pudding.

You child is a child so I won't get too involved. But if I know anything about children of that age, (and I mean a very big if), then it seems to me that trying to stop them doing something, especially if they think it might shock you, is the way to encourage them.

I think sociologists refer to it along the lines of the child pitching their place at the adult table. A nice way of saying growing up.

If I may suggest, if you let your child pursue this, what is the worst that can happen?

Just an aside, I serious doubt your child will be given any medical treatment before 18. Please don't believe what you read in the media.

I would not so quickly dismiss the use of puberty blockers for my gender dysphoric child; indeed the "The World Professional Association for Transgender Health" does recommend it use on adolescent. I urge to read and consider the following document.
http://www.wpath.org/documents/Standards%20of%20Care%20V7%20-%202011%20WPATH.pdf


Another resource for you could be found below

QuoteCurrently, the American Academy of Pediatrics does not have a specific position statement regarding the care of gender-variant children and adolescents. Pediatricians and health providers for children are left in the difficult position of assessing and evaluating these youth with few evidence-based resources and little clinical guidance. Spack et al's research has cast light on the prevalence of serious psychiatric conditions including self-mutilation and suicide among gender-variant and transgender youth. While these findings are disturbing, they are not surprising. (2) Too often in the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) lay media are reports of violence and injury directed at gender- variant people. And although population-based studies on suicide have not identified transgender participants, numerous non-random surveys show high rates of suicidal behavior in that population, with 41% of adult respondents to the 2009 National Transgender Discrimination Survey reporting lifetime suicide attempts (3).

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/129/3/418/reply

Hope this helps, good luck, and happy Holidays

Courage,

Peky

Concerned, I'm so glad that you are being supportive of your child; just being there and listening is by far the best thing you can do.  I think as far as therapist your child should choose whom they are comfortable with as then it will allow them to fully open up.  This has to be a difficult time for you & your husband as well, just realize what courage it took for your child to share this with you.  I am wishing you luck as well as a lot of patience on both ends for your family!

I'm 31. I came out to my parents at a very young age and they were not accepting. When I came out again as an adult I was not accepted by most of my family or friends. The suffering of being a closeted ftm is huge though and your child is going to have to go through the pain of transition sooner or later. This identity doesn't wear off and I've never met anyone who outgrew the problem. Please try to be strong and try to help your kid to be too.

I dont want to over step my boundaries but I suggest you put her on estrogen blockers. They wont cause nything permanent and trust me I only started my transistion from 16 if I had been allowed blocker at that age I would be so much happier now.

The blockers mean he can find out if he is a trully a male or female and have no regrets, because blockers simply stall puberty.

I mean ask any FTM breast development is one of the things they hated the most.

Anyways keep him in therapy best to get the answer as soon as possible and trust me support their decision no matter what it is or you and you child will end up like me and my mother(arguing and fighting endlessly each day.).

Anyways sorry if I over stepped in the topic, I just feel blockers would give you and your child more time to sort this out.