Quote from: Phoeniks on December 24, 2012, 04:33:52 PM
Thank you. I hate that I have so little courage with my relatives, I just feel weak and a victim and even suicidal, and like I have no other way and nothing better is waiting for me. Nothing like good old self-doubt. I'm so happy I don't live like that full-time anymore.
I am riddled with self-doubt. It's a really, really, REALLY hard, REALLY ingrained pattern of thoughts and behaviors to change.
I hope the new year brings you more and more relief....I know how it can be so, so hard to be assertive and confident about who you are, especially to those who have known you the longest -- who are we to tell our family that their perceptions of us are fundamentally flawed?
I'll tell you who we are -- we are our g*dd*mn selves, and the more you get honest with people about it the harder it is to cram yourself back into an empty shell.
Finally, I do hope that you don't take a page out of my book when it comes to suicide or self-harm -- one should try the whole "talk about it" thing BEFORE you do anything. I now enjoy some gnarly scars all up and down my wrists and arms. Interesting talking point, when new people see them, however. Oh silver linings.
Happy holidays and such.