I'm beginning to get annoyed with my mom asking about my (lack of) dating over the last two years.  It's very predictable, and I'm actually a bit surprised she hasn't given up asking yet since my reaction is usually to shrug, say "meh" and then walk away.  I don't really want to explain that my "dating drive" vanished a few months ago, coincidentally around the time I started researching trans stuff.  And I REALLY don't want to tell her that in my head I seem to have shifted from "me as a girl with another girl" to "me as a girl with a guy" (The first time I did that it was just an experiment to try to scare everything away... it may have backfired a little).

I want her to stop hinting that I should be trying to date somebody, I don't think I can handle a relationship right now.  Plus, I was never good at starting them to begin with.

Oh well... thanks for reading my rant!

Yeah, I know what you mean. My dad used to want me to date after my last divorce, almost twenty years ago. Him and his girlfriend even invited a nice girl over for dinner one time, I was polite and all, but never called her back and they finally gave up.  Oddly enough, a few years after I started hrt and my dad had some time to adjust, he became ok with me wanting surgery and with eventually being with guys. Still haven't done either yet, but that's ok, my doggy loves me and I do ok being alone. I just hate having to turn some guys down when they ask me out, at least the cute nice ones anyway, lol.

I had this. It was generally accompanied by attempts to impose guilt or imply, verbally or otherwise, questions about my sexuality. The worst was when my mother started to ask me how men do it to each other, my father announced that he wasn't bothered if my sexuality wasn't like everyone else's. (Yeah right!) and other member of the family asked impertanent questions about my social life and if anyone was living with me. (I had a shared flat at the time).

The points are these:

They already know about your sexuality. They are your family and know you almost as well as you do.

Your sexuality is really none of their business unless you choose to tell them.

They are prying and fishing for information. Lets face it.

How you deal with it depends upon your relationship.

If you are comfortable with them, then tell them straight.

If you're unsure with them then brush them off with something like, 'Which girls are you thinking about?

If they expect you to live 'up' to their standards, then walk away. You never will meet those standards. You will always be second to them and are second to them because they are inadequates who are using you as a step over their own paranoias. Live your life, not their's.

Quote from: EmSchuma on December 29, 2012, 10:38:45 PM
It's very predictable, and I'm actually a bit surprised she hasn't given up asking yet since my reaction is usually to shrug, say "meh" and then walk away.

You are awesome!

When I first came out to my mom, she told me that I could solve all of my issues by finding a girlfriend. Uh, no. 

Anywho, you don't NEED to date, so tell anyone that says otherwise to kick rocks. 

Quote from: DianaP on December 30, 2012, 06:58:08 AM

When I first came out to my mom, she told me that I could solve all of my issues by finding a girlfriend. Uh, no. 

Though never said to me directly, this one always made me smile.

I'd love to meet a girl friend, several. Then I could get some dress and makeup tips and we could hang out and have a good time.

Jaime:  It was nice of them to try to set you up with somebody, too bad you weren't interested.  It's reassuring to know that your dad accepted you, too (once he had time for everything to settle in).

spacial:  Good advice, I especially like the "Live my life, not theirs" part.  I get that she's prying for information, but it's definitely something I'm not comfortable talking about with her or anybody else in my family (maybe one day, but not yet).  I'll keep trying to brush off the topic, maybe something like "I studied computer science, what are these 'girls' you speak of???"

Diana: Yeah, getting a girlfriend would be a bad idea right now.  I actually found Lynn Conway's site and a few others about four years ago, right before I started dating my last girlfriend.  After I met her I went right back into denial land... and I can easily see myself doing that again.