Got the following pm and changed my avatar. I'd like to get some opinions from others here since we're all in various stages of transition and it's only natural to want to show a little cleavage because we're all excited about our personal development and want to share with others. I find it a little strange that an MtF would have such a negative attitude. I'm wondering how the rest of you feel. I changed my avatar photo rather than get un-welcomed criticism, I expect to get bigoted criticism on the street, but not here at Susan's.

"I think you're an awesome person Shantel so I hope you don't take this too badly...but its a little odd for me to always have to stare at your breasts because of the avatar. I'm sorta not into breasts and because my eyes naturally go to the avatar when I want to see whose chatting, i see breasts in a low cut t shirt. Don't you have any more neutral kinda pics or something that doesn't show your boobs?"

My response:
Thanks for your input but I'd prefer not to have anyone else set my agenda for what my avatar will be given the fact that a lot of the TG women enjoy showing off their cleavage here at Susan's so naturally I question your motives for singling me out for your critique.
You have the option not to stare at people's cleavage if it is bothersome.

Well now I gotta change my avatar!   

EDIT* to something showing more cleavage I meant!

Hi Shantel

I used to be quite interested in the unclothed female form but now I have oestrogens flowing in my veins I prefer not to see unclothed females. To my surprise I also no longer find obvious cleavage all that nice either. I guess my perspectives have changed.

So on that basis I can see where the other poster was coming from. I usually use Ad-Block to shut out avatars I find unpleasant but maybe the poster does not know how to do that?

I think there's an option to turn off viewing avatars...in one's profile settings.

Your avatar wasn't indecent, I rather envied it. Heck ya if I had those I'd show something! ;-)

Quote from: SageFox on January 03, 2013, 04:15:03 PM
Well now I gotta change my avatar!   

No you do not. Ad-Block rocks.....

Hehe so sweet! This really isn't about me, it's about all of us and I'm wondering if it's going to get worse. I was at Alderwood Mall yesterday and saw a woman in a black burka with just a slit for her eyes. I went holy sh*t! What's that?

If ya got it, flaunt it. If you're not breaking the rules, set your avatar to whatever makes YOU happy!

I think it's always all right, given it's done appropriately, to say it when someone has a behaviour you dislike. That being said, it's also all right not to want to please everyone. And wanting to please everyone can be quite bad.

I say, you do what you want, but people also say what they want. Anyone doing something daring should understand that more sensitive people might criticise. Whenever you stray from what people tend to find okay, you'll tend to have more judgemental looks. From that point on, you decide what you do.

I can't reasonably speak too much more because I'm biased: I also tend to disapprove of an excess of cleavage, as well as I tend to immediately try to change what displeases people.

Auntie Shan, I'm disappointed in you. Don't let people steer your life. Someone just had too much time on their hands. You know darned well (better than most) if there was an issue, I woulda moderated you! Change it back to the one YOU like. Hugs, Devlyn

Anyone who needs assistance with their account settings should contact any of the Staff members.

Ok, I'm pretty old-fashioned, so I believe in some pretty antiquated things. I don't believe in the Saudi Arabian face-mask, full-body covering thing (that's going way too far), but I always said, "no one's gonna buy the cow if they get the milk for free." 

Anywho, I've seen much worse (curse you, Facebook) and, frankly, I don't really care if anyone besides my sister is less than conservative. I believe one thing ,you believe another. Have fun. 

I love your avatar, it kind of encourages me to stay the course, perhaps some day I will look like you. Please do bring your avatar back!

As for the individual who sent you that nasty PM, I will bet you that he/she is a "mole" from thos religious extremists nuts.

OO

Quote from: peky on January 03, 2013, 06:28:48 PM
As for the individual who sent you that nasty PM, I will bet you that he/she is a "mole" from thos religious extremists nuts.

They're everywhere. 

Well, Shantel, you've been the recipient of some very female behavior. This is very common for women to 'bitch' about another showing her stuff. And as Devlyn pointed out, yes we do moderate avatars that are too racy. I saw yours mutiple times and it never occured to me that way.

However, given the message, it is possible she felt she was 'talking to another woman's cleavage' and truly was uncomfortable. Also not out of the world of possibility. It's up to you what you want to do.

Quote from: peky on January 03, 2013, 06:28:48 PM
I love your avatar, it kind of encourages me to stay the course, perhaps some day I will look like you. Please do bring your avatar back!

As for the individual who sent you that nasty PM, I will bet you that he/she is a "mole" from thos religious extremists nuts.

OO

Pretty intuitive Pecky, that's a good female trait! 

Quote from: girl you look fierce on January 03, 2013, 06:40:31 PM
Honestly I think it's kinda weird to show just breasts in your avatar, well really I don't understand why people are SO obsessed with breasts here like if you post a pic and it shows even a hint of the existence of a boob somewhere people are like oooh boobs.  There is a lot more to a woman than a pair of boobs okay :/

That is exactly how I feel. I think of boobs as no more than what they are: globs of fat. 

Still, GYLF, while we may disagree with the idea of boobs and the fascination with them, it's still Shantel's choice to post them or not. 

Quote from: girl you look fierce on January 03, 2013, 06:40:31 PM
Honestly I think it's kinda weird to show just breasts in your avatar, well really I don't understand why people are SO obsessed with breasts here like if you post a pic and it shows even a hint of the existence of a boob somewhere people are like oooh boobs.  There is a lot more to a woman than a pair of boobs okay :/

I'd show you my face but it would break your monitor and not very gender congruent with the rest of me and I do prefer to have anonymity in case I ever wanted to get decent employment or work at a political job. I put up a body shot just to ensure others that I'm legit and not some kind of troll. I try an be helpful to others here and not judgmental of anyone. You're welcome to your opinions but I think it's really peculiar for anyone aspiring to come out as a woman to be put off by another woman in a T-shirt showing just a little cleavage.

Quote from: girl you look fierce on January 03, 2013, 06:40:31 PM
Honestly I think it's kinda weird to show just breasts in your avatar,

I do not agree dahrling, the boys just want to see boobs, face is secondary

Some of us girls want to see boobs too!   

Quote from: girl you look fierce on January 03, 2013, 06:40:31 PM
There is a lot more to a woman than a pair of boobs okay :/

Really? I do not think the boys would agree with you, boob are every thing!!!

Quote from: SageFox on January 03, 2013, 07:08:14 PM
Some of us girls want to see boobs too!   

Sorry, I stand corrected! Girls love boobs too!!!