Hi Forum,
I've been following this forum for some time but only now joined and posted this. Please be nice 

I'm currently on low dose HRT (3 months) for GID. When I started I hoped my desire to transition would slow, or should I say not dominate my thoughts 24/7. Ive had few physical effects but the mental changes have really scared me.

Firstly, I still strongly desire to transition but my actions are certainly more what you would call typically female. I just love to clean and cook. I also spend hours just shopping but purchasing nothing. I used to try and purchase something female for me each day, now I just look. I've always cried during movies and this is unchanged, but I am so interested in keeping a quality home. This must be hormone related because for 40 years I was a slob!

My partner loves the new me!

However the second issue had really shocked me. I find myself attracted to men! Again for 40 years I never so much have looked at a men and the thought disgusted me in fact. Now I fantise about being a women sexually and all the graphic thoughts you could imagine. Could the hormones have altered my sexuality?

Have any of you experienced a previous non-attraction followed by full female desires?

Will continuing my journey be so mentally challenging?

Sophia

Ps I can't seem to add a photo to my profile from my phone. I'll try and do this later.

Hi Sophia and Welcome!

There's a lot of talk of how hormones may change you sexual preference. I'm not convinced it's strictly hormonal. I actually think it's related to how comfortable we are in who we are. The more comfortable we become in who we are, the more likely something previously deeply repressed is like to emerge.

I'll add my voice to those saying it might not be hormonal. Up until recently the idea of being intimate with a male just grossed me out. As I've started growing into my female identity, well it's no longer out of the realm of possibility. And I am totally pre-HRT.

  Some people it is hormonal.  I've been on HRT for 2 years.  My preference for women hadn't changed, some aspects of that attraction actually was enhanced! 

  Joelene

Welcome to the forums, Sophia!

  I thought long and hard about this (pun intended) and concluded it is very unlikely my interest in being penetrated will extend to a desire for intimate contact with men.  There are plenty of women prepared to wield a strap-on or other such instrument anyway, likely with a better understanding of their partner's anatomy and responses too.  Certainly there is no-hotter a fantasy to me than a dominant tomboyish woman!

Quote from: Violet Bloom on December 26, 2012, 10:22:12 PM
Welcome to the forums, Sophia!

  I thought long and hard about this (pun intended) and concluded it is very unlikely my interest in being penetrated will extend to a desire for intimate contact with men.  There are plenty of women prepared to wield a strap-on or other such instrument anyway, likely with a better understanding of their partner's anatomy and responses too.  Certainly there is no-hotter a fantasy to me than a dominant tomboyish woman!

and I second that in other aspects: women and men are, as we know, very different. You need to think if you also wonder, along with penetration, about the male aspects: beard, body hair, personality, etc, etc.

I like women (or "femaleness") a lot and wouldn't give up a tomboyish woman for a man.

As Katy Perry (haha) said: "Us girls we are so magical // soft skin, red lips, so kissable // hard to resist, so touchable"

  Yes, soulfairer, that's my point exactly.  I desire a woman and the kind of dynamic and intimacy only two women can share.  When I look at a lot of pre-transition FTMs I find much about them to be very desireable, but that ends when top surgery and facial hair enter the mix.  I want certain boyish and dominant traits in a woman which could be considered masculine-leaning but I am certainly not physically attracted to or emotionally drawn to men.

Quote from: soulfairer on December 26, 2012, 10:35:30 PM
As Katy Perry (haha) said: "Us girls we are so magical // soft skin, red lips, so kissable // hard to resist, so touchable"

Oooooooh - I might have to start tuning her in again!

Quote from: Violet Bloom on December 26, 2012, 10:56:41 PM
  Yes, soulfairer, that's my point exactly.  I desire a woman and the kind of dynamic and intimacy only two women can share.  When I look at a lot of pre-transition FTMs I find much about them to be very desireable, but that ends when top surgery and facial hair enter the mix.  I want certain boyish and dominant traits in a woman which could be considered masculine-leaning but I am certainly not physically attracted to or emotionally drawn to men.

Oooooooh - I might have to start tuning her in again!

Exactly what I like. Well, you should search for tomboy girls or androgynous girls.

I give that example (her lyrics) because It expresses great part of what I mean! Use it ahah!

I've also wondered a lot about the implications of hormonal treatment on sexual orientation. I haven't found anything to substantiate any claim that it does necessarily lend a person to be more attracted to men (or women in the case of trans men), but I really wouldn't be surprised if it was a factor in some degree. I've been on HRT for about 9 months now and while I've always had some lingering interest in men it's only been recently that I've actually began to understand some guys as actually being 'cute'. I'm not sure if it's hormonal, but it's probably got a lot more to do with becoming comfortable with my lot in life and being more open to new and different experiences.

Too bad all the guys that talk to me turn into swine and dogs -_-

Quote from: SophiaA on December 26, 2012, 06:13:35 PM


Have any of you experienced a previous non-attraction followed by full female desires?

Hi Sophia, this has been discussed in many threads, since I completed my transition Im totally attracted to men, its just naturally for me as a woman, you can read my experiences here https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,86615.msg617179.html#msg617179
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,103902.msg779292.html#msg779292
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,113081.msg861115.html#msg861115

Quote from: SophiaA on December 26, 2012, 06:13:35 PM

However the second issue had really shocked me. I find myself attracted to men! Again for 40 years I never so much have looked at a men and the thought disgusted me in fact.

It is a bit of a shock st first, but then I got used to the attention, particularly when a guy gave me flowers and treated my like a lady for the first time, a gentleman who excepts me as a woman is nice.

Quote from: SophiaA on December 26, 2012, 06:13:35 PM
what you would call typically female. I just love to clean and cook.

Well I don't think cooking and cleaning should be typically female, myself and my husband use to share the household chores, but since we got married I became a fulltime housewife, he works outside the home, I now do all the cooking and cleaning, hubby thinks its ''woman's work'' cleaning up after a man. But I never thought all them years ago when I started transition, ending up being attracted to men and marrying a straight man, Im now a straight woman'
p

Thank you so much for all the feedback and the links are simply outstanding. I'm sure the cleaning and shopping is my mental desire to adjust to my new feminine outlook but after reviewing the links and with my own feelings, the attraction to men and my female sexual desires must be the hormones.

Quote from: agfrommd on December 26, 2012, 08:21:06 PM
I'll add my voice to those saying it might not be hormonal. Up until recently the idea of being intimate with a male just grossed me out. As I've started growing into my female identity, well it's no longer out of the realm of possibility. And I am totally pre-HRT.

I've actually noticed this exact same thing, that I can be physically and emotionally attracted to men. I've know the physical side for a long time, but now I'm seeing that there is also the emotional side, which kind of stuns me, as I'm pre-HRT too, but still looking at couples makes my thoughts really fly if you know what I mean

There have been a ton of changes for me since starting HRT but I have a really hard time separating where the affect of hormones stops and where the affect simply letting go of pretense begins because both started at just about the same time for me.

I honestly believe that my sexuality has been affected by some degree by estrogen though, just because I see guys that I knew back when I was still faking the funk and find myself going, "wow, I had no idea how cute he was!"  I mean really had no idea.  I saw them all as just another guy back then, and I don't think attraction is something you can totally suppress if you want to.  I could be wrong though.  It's possible that once I freed myself to be a real person, some kind of orientation barrier came down within my mind.

I was also kind of a blank slate, orientation-wise, because I didn't find women sexually attractive either before, so how HRT affected me on this front isn't necessarily going to be the same for most people.

I do not think cooking and cleaning is an estrogen thing however.  Whenever I see a sloppy person I always think they must be stressed or depressed.  So yep, it's probably a happy thing rather than hormonal .

I was reading Jan Morris's Conundrum and I thought the way she expressed it was interesting. She'd always had male friends who's said to her "If only you were a girl" but both being men they felt they couldn't do anything about it. When she started to transition she felt she could allow herself to find men attractive. So maybe not new with hormones

I flirted a lot with guys in LGBT circles I knew were open-minded, safe and nice when I was younger but never took things anywhere because it felt wrong with a male body and I didn't feel or really like (in that way) the out&out gay guys. After that my one sexual experience with a close male friend who too much alcohol made me imagine had seen the real me was a disaster and wrecked that and several related friendships so I repressed that entire side of things for a long time. Now I find myself thinking about sex with men quite a bit and one of the most enjoyable & powerfully erotic dreams I had recently I was being throughly ravished by a very muscular man. But I still find women attractive too.  One day I have to imagine myself as a butch lesbian to make love to my wife the next I'm fine as my assigned male self.

Sex as TG for me is just way too confusing. No hormones at all just giving myself permission. Eeek.

I have been on my HRT for 9 months or so. Before starting I was 90% attracted to women and 10% attracted to men. Since starting HRT, I met and fell in love with a T-Male. The odds are not good that they will open to me but whenever I am near them, or even think of them for that matter, my heart beats so fast and I am ready to kneel in complete and utter submission and cry, 'Master' ! This proves one thing to me, that when falling in love, it will be because of who they are and not what they are.
Ohhh, (name withheld) ! I do so adore and love you!

If hormones where all you needed to change your sexuality then well you wouldnt have lesbians or gay guys in our world.

My bet is that your werr most probably some what bisexual to start with, however until you started to feel more you and more secure in yourself, you most probably made a mental block which had made you deny your possible bisexual sexuality.

After all your sexuality is some what pre-set to an extent at birth(I mean during development in the womb).

Interesting thread, I'm pre hrt or anything at this point and while I'm definitely physically attracted to guys I can't imagine having an emotional/romantic attraction towards one yet, maybe that will change.

Quote from: SophiaA on January 04, 2013, 05:10:15 AM
the attraction to men and my female sexual desires must be the hormones.

If this was true, no gay men or lesbian women would exist....some testosteron or oestrogen would  ' cure'  them, right?

Or just a dash of testosterone to 'repair'  your male heterosexuality.

I think this sudden MTF attraction to men is internalised heteronormative behaviour. ' I am a woman now so that means I have to find men attractive to accomodate him ' inside my new vagina, for that makes me a woman'

I have a friend who has been on HRT for about 18 months and she says she's noticed how men smell and, although she's always considered herself bi, she feels more attracted to men than women now. I strongly doubt it's the hormones causing this because if this were the case they would be used to "cure" homosexuals, rather I think it's just allowing more freedom in how people express themselves and who they find sexually attractive.

I think it's more related to self-acceptance than anything else. I've noticed it with myself and I'm not even on hormones. I spent my life knowing that I'm just asexual simply because I'm emotionally, but not physically attracted to women. I never even considered the possibility that I might be into guys because, coming from a very homophobic family and town, I knew it was wrong. The more I accept myself, the more I think those people that taught me how wrong it was, are idiots   I'm starting to think I was always into guys and just never allowed myself to consider it.