Hi all,

I've been reading heaps of posts here and there, and u all are starting on T or already are on it. I'm really happy for u guys but I feel so stupid because I'm not and never going to be because of my sister who is 12 years older than me and she would never understand.  I'm 54, and she still treats me as a child at times. Dont get me wrong, I adore her and would do anything for her (obviously!!)  but she has certain old fashioned ideas and it really upsets me that she doesnt even really know who I am. She thinks I'm gay, and has come to terms with that, but as far as anything else, well....I'm sure u get the picture. She loves my wife very much and treats her like her sister in law and thats all great but I would love to complete my transition properly but will just have to be content with having top surgery within the next year sometime.

I'm feeling very lonely sometimes, I just dont know where I fit in, I have fantastic friends and they accept who I am but still feel like somethings missing, and I know what it is ...its the real me. I'm hoping that when I get my top surgery done that I will feel more like myself, and I'm sure I will, but..........

Anyway guys, thanks for listening (reading!!) would love a friend or two!

I'm not on any medical support. I'm 57. Main difference is my birth sex is male.

But I can totally assure you, you are not in the least alone here.

And believe me, this place offers and shares support to tarnsgender.

Spacial, wanting to know what is a tarnsgender?! LOL

Anyway, yes I am "older" like you are. No I guess it is not fair but if you spend all your energies on it. Heck happy to see teens and so on it. No reason the world has to continue to be unfair.
Get thee to the gender therapist and work on transitioning for now.

BTW, I don't think my sister will ever get this whole thing. Makes me sad, but you know you don't live for your sister. I have a really good friend and I call her "my sister from another mother". She's down with that.


--Jay

I'm a little younger than you (41) but still older than most of the youngsters on this board.

One of the reasons why I made the decision last year to transition was due to something my youngest daughter said to me. Because I am in my 40s she thinks of me as being ancient, and she smirked at me and said "You'll be a little old lady soon!".

That triggered it.

I pictured myself in my 70s, sat in an old-age home in an oversized armchair, wearing a floral dress and sensible shoes, whilst some young nurse hands me a cup of tea and calls me 'dear' and asks if I fancy doing some knitting. I thought to myself: if I were in such a situation and were to look back upon my life, how would I feel about having done nothing about my lifelong gender dysphoria? How would I feel about still being treated like a 'woman'? About missing out on the opportunity to live my life as the gay man I know I am, just because everyone else decided I have to be female?

It was devastating. I knew I'd have such bitter regrets about having wasted all those years, so I decided to do something about it while I'm still young enough to change the direction of my life. After all, when my mother was on her death bed she said to me that as she looked back upon her life, she regretted far more the things she didn't do, than the things she did do. I don't want to have an an enormous regret about not living my own life.

Oh, and I'm not on T yet either. I'm seeing the gender therapist this month to get that ball rolling. It'll take time, but I know what I need to do and I'm doing it. It's not like I'm going to get another chance in another life.

Don't live your life for your sister: she has her own life to get on with. Live your life for yourself.

Skootabear I've seen people like you at support groups. I think they felt frustrated and left out in those contexts too. You have to do what it takes to be happy. I spent years thinking I couldn't transition because my kid wouldn't understand or I'd lose my food stamps or something, but you find ways to deal with it and other people find ways to get over it. You have to do for yourself what it takes to be happy.

Quote from: FTMDiaries on January 07, 2013, 06:17:30 AM
I pictured myself in my 70s, sat in an old-age home in an oversized armchair, wearing a floral dress and sensible shoes, whilst some young nurse hands me a cup of tea and calls me 'dear' and asks if I fancy doing some knitting. I thought to myself: if I were in such a situation and were to look back upon my life, how would I feel about having done nothing about my lifelong gender dysphoria? How would I feel about still being treated like a 'woman'? About missing out on the opportunity to live my life as the gay man I know I am, just because everyone else decided I have to be female?

I had similar worries.

I think there is a preception of a single goal.

I sometimes dread some questions from those outside our comunity here, when the first is, 'So you want to be a woman?' 'Ah, no, I want to be myself.' 'But you want to cut it off?'. No, I want to feel comfortable with who I am.'

We must each do, what we feel comfortable with, what is within our personal budgets and availability and what we are physically, emotionally and socially capable of achieving.

The objective is surely, to relieve the anxiety and health problems associated with dysphoria.

I totally understand skootabear. His social situation is such that taking that step will lead to problems which he doesn't seem ready to confront.

We are transgender because we say we are. We are member of the Susans' community because we choose to be and we accept the TOS.

That's enough.