Right so I am finally planning to try buy some bras but here is my problem I don't pass.

So i can't just try them on till i find the right one people will think i am pervert. Trust me the first time i tried the shop manager kicked me out.

So anyone got any idea how i can do this? its just i can't wear just a shirt without one so its needed lol.

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Quote from: muuu on January 07, 2013, 06:46:35 PM
Buy a sports bra... Not sure how your measurements work, but measure yourself and look online which size you'd fit. They don't need a perfect fit, because they're aiming to flatten and hold things in place.
So, you won't need to try it, just pick it up and buy it.

I thought of this I guess its the only way

I got a ruler I could wrap around me to figure out my band size, decided a B cup would look proportional and went on-line.  What I got worked well enough for me at the time, though I think I went up a little bit to get bras that fit real well. 

I think you're supposed to add a bit to the raw ruler measurement, but I didn't do that.  Hence the larger band on my next order.

Random:
In lieu of a ruler/tape measure, you could try measuring yourself in iPhones. The 4 is 4.5" tall, which is nice 'n even. So wrap a belt around the bit you're measuring, then use a phone to mark off distances.
Or just go to the shop and buy a tape measure. That works too.

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You could also try on-line shopping but you may wanna check the T&C of the place where you're buying it from.

That way if the T&C allow it - you could get a try a few times to get it right.

I am planning to buy my own first that way. The important bit is to get the size right.

Sports bras are definitely easier.  You can buy regular bras online, but it's going to be very roulettish buying a bra without being able to try it on because companies can't seem to even be able to agree on what the numbers mean.

Quote from: LilDevilOfPrada on January 07, 2013, 06:43:26 PM
Right so I am finally planning to try buy some bras but here is my problem I don't pass.

So i can't just try them on till i find the right one people will think i am pervert. Trust me the first time i tried the shop manager kicked me out.

So anyone got any idea how i can do this? its just i can't wear just a shirt without one so its needed lol.

Where do you live? Are you in RSA?

I know how you feel about the "people will think I'm a pervert"  thing.  I feel like I get those stares just for standing any place near the lingerie section.

I do know what my approximate sizes are so I tend to buy a number of things in the right-ish size and take them home to try on.  Anything that doesn't fit goes right back to the store for a refund.  This has usually worked for bras, but don't try it with panties. 
Every store should have their return policy clearly posted and you should be able to talk to somebody at customer service before purchasing if you have any questions.  For my part, my income limits me to more of the Walmart type stores and I've found that many of the employees just don't care or have already "seen everything before". But if someone complains it might make a good opening to talk to a manager about their policies.

And as far as the "pervert" thing.  You've nothing to be ashamed of.  Act like you belong there and people will ignore you.  Skulk about and they'll call the cops.  If you've got some girlfriends, take them shopping with you.  Shopping is more fun in pairs and having a non-freaked out GG with you will provide some cover and reassurance if you are still feeling nervous. 

I'll admit that changing rooms can still be a grey area... but if you are in a smaller store try talking to the sales people and try to be honest and open with them about your needs.  They are there to sell things and as long as you aren't spooking the other customers they can often be quite accommodating.  And if they aren't... shop elsewhere.

hope it's ok for me to post here, try saying you are buying for a girlfriend or wife or something and that "she" is about the same size as you it worked when i was trying to buy a jockstrap 

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if they are boring regular bras say your mum sent you to buy them, i've had to do it for my sister before

I think sport bra will be the easiest way to start so you don't have to worry so much about getting the perfect size and if you are too nervous just tell them it for your GF or wife. but the trick is to hide your nervousness.  Never walk idly near the Lingerie section trying to gather up courage. I had done that when I bought my first bra and that was a dead give away. If you really want to take some time before going and picking a bra do it n a place of the shop where are you are comfortable. once you made your mind just go and pick the one you like and if you are not sure played the confused boyfriend's role and asked for the help from a sales assistance. That had worked for me every time when I first bought my bras. First this will be nerve wrecking but once you do this couple of time it will get much much easier, there was one time two sales girls helped me even to pick  a style. Important thing if to show your confidence.  Hope this will help you little bit.

Quote from: JessicaH on January 07, 2013, 08:00:43 PM
Where do you live? Are you in RSA?

Yes I am, And to everyone else I think I will try all your ideas though I am quite so I have little hope in successing but thanks for the advice.

You could try "aire-bra" http://www.thanedirect.co.uk/products/beauty/slim-n-lift-aire-bra/slim-n-lift-aire-bra.php or a Belvia http://www.jmldirect.com/uk/belvia-range/belvia-bra/invt/b13bb60100000001/

They come in small, medium and large and fit anybody.

I don't know if Bali brands are available in RSA, but they also offer at least one style in "smart sizing" that is much more forgiving.

Sizing chart:



You can buy this brand and model at retail or online. And it comes in plus sizes if you're a bigger girl.

Probably not a big favorite with women who need serious support, but it should work for you at this stage and it's at least a little prettier than a sports bra, though not what I'd favor -- very, very plain, and I tend to find that underwires work better for me at this point, since they hold breastforms in place more reliably than other styles. It doesn't help your confidence if your breasts start migrating after an hour or two and you find yourself frequently leaving to put them back in place.

As others have pointed out, developing a more confident and matter-of-fact attitude helps a lot. Easier to use a changing room without negotiation if you shop somewhere with men's and women's changing rooms. Maybe it's different where you live, but I found that many women's shops are very welcoming if they think it will mean a sale, and will have no problem offering you a changing room as long as you don't act overly nervous and are consistently polite and respectful in your requests.

And bigger stores are often a good choice if you just don't want to talk to sales staff. I've shopped Kohl's a lot lately, and have had no one even seem to notice when I took fairly large piles from the women's departments to the men's changing rooms.  Maybe it helps a little that I'm already wearing what I suspect the female staff, at least, recognize as women's apparel, though I'd think that would possibly get me noticed more, not less. Since I've been dressing this way for about 20 years, I guess the fact that I don't think much about it also means that others don't read me as nervous and start looking for the reason why. Smiling also does wonders to reassure people that you are just there to shop. This works even if you're practically certain someone has clocked you.

But it seems to me, in general, that their staff is mainly too busy to notice. I also live in a suburban area between two fairly cosmopolitan cities where staff have probably been trained not to bother customers except when they ask for help.

Well I tried but the mall was so busy I am going to wait for back to school season to end but I got a Epilator so not a complete lose

Quote from: Elspeth on January 08, 2013, 06:22:19 AM
... It doesn't help your confidence if your breasts start migrating after an hour or two

When I read that, I could not help remembering this movie (20 seconds in, defo not suitable for work)

This is probably pretty lame but I was still freaked out about buying women's things.  I got an anniversary card (cheap one) looked around for a few things and even asked the sales girl for help and explained that I was buying my wife some things. 

This is probably even lamer but would probably work well, explain that your sister/mother was in an an accident while you were in town and is in the hospital and about to get out and that her suitcase with all her personal belongings got ruined or lost. I never used it but it was the best cover story I ever thought up as to why I was buying a large assortment of things that "guys" never buy.

Now, I just buy it and figure it's none of their damn business what I buy. Just act confident and not like you are guilty of a heinous crime.