I've just done one of those "What gender are you" online tests. One of the questions was about how you cope with problems, do you ask for help or solve it yourself. What I needed was option c), I pull the duvet over my head and hope it goes away. Which is what I've been doing all my life with my gender issues.

I guess I always knew I was different and that letting on wasn't a good idea. I still cringe at the humiliation I got from my brother (two years older) when I suggested we play girly games. I started cross dressing in my mother's clothes at the age of about 10 or so, I guess that was the earliest age I was allowed to be in the house alone. In my early twenties I had various bits of women's clothing though since then I've found that my powers of imagination are much more satisfying. I mean the clothes were only a help to imagining I was actually a woman and I found that I could imagine that without having to dress. So, for example, in the recent nice weather we've been having I've been taking a walk down to the river at lunchtime imagining that I'm wearing a nice flouncy, flowery summer dress.

Anyway, now having reached the ripe old age of 49, I can no longer pretend to myself that everything will turn out all right and that one morning I will wake up being the body that I crave. I've been lurking here for a couple of months and finally signed on recently; it's really nice when you come to the site and it says "Hello Fiona" at the top of the page! Just reading the posts has been a big help, finding out that others with the same issues as me aren't disgusting deviants and that I'm not alone.

Hi Fiona and welcome to Susan's!

Thank you for your introduction.  Please take a few moments to get familiar with the site, review the site rules, and take advantage of our many resources such as the wiki, chat, and the links listed at the main page.  We look forward to your future posts and participation.  Enjoy your stay at Susan's! 

tink

Hi Fiona,

QuoteJust reading the posts has been a big help, finding out that others with the same issues as me aren't disgusting deviants and that I'm not alone.

Yes that is one good things about Susan's. We are a TG community that tries to help one another.
I'm glad you quit lurking and decide to join us.
Welcome to Susan's,
Jillieann

Deviants, nah Fiona, just trying to find your happiness however you can, that's what you have to remind yourself. You are on a journey to happiness! Lots of very cool people at Susan's, much help in the reference library and definitely a place where FIONA can be FIONA. I'm still relatively new here, but I have to say this is the best site by far to explore yourself and find out where you need to go next Take care, so you around, Meghan

Welcome to the neighborhood Fiona. it's not ever too late to begin living your life.

Sit back, hold on, and enjoy the ride

And uh, yea, don't forget to check out the site rules real quick as well. 

Greetings from under my own duvet, welcome to the Deviant Society 

Don't worry, we won't burn you at the stake, and we won't lock you up for being a perv. That's my welcome over with. 

Welcome, welcome, from another newb.

Welcome, Fiona!

I'm happy to make your acquaintance!

I was just shy of my 50th birthday when I woke up to the fact that I was going to have to make changes.  Welcome to the club!

hugs & smiles
helen

Hi Fiona,

Welcome to Susan's. Glad you came out of the shadows to join in. I'm 48 and finding this site was a wonderful way of meeting others on the gender spectrum. Also, as you said, the posts are a big help.

Hugs,

Rhonda

Hi Fiona,

Wellcome to Susan.

Alice

Hi Fiona, good to meet you! I'm 54 and just starting out on the journey. This is the place for warm support and honest opinion - with a few laughs, too. Looking forward to hearing more from you in the forums.
Welcome-
-Barb

Thanks for the warm welcome.

I am new here, also. And I realized at around 6 I was different, and I dressed in mom's cloths at around 11, and later in life never felt I had to dress up to feel female. But I sure tried to deny it, and I sure went out of my way, too... Construction jobs, military, Machine operating, pretending to be macho and yell alot... But, I always seen me in the mirror. Me/female... And, when it was time (when I had crashed to having absolute nothing because of the self-destruction, and the suicide attempts became too much), I began the search. We're never alone. I feel, by instinct, we'll search out. And we'll reach out when we find people who can relate with the common issues and events that have happened throughout our own individual lives. By a choice we only thought about, we draw them to us. Even if we want to hide or lurk because we're still confused and wrought with denial. We search for answers and reach out. And we feel a bit relieved when the search proves positive. When we find we are not alone... But, then we also find out...  That that is still the very beginning...

Hugz,
Hannah

Welcome to Second Puberty.  It IS a journey that never ends.  SRS, for example, is not the destination, but just one of the stops along the way.

Robyn
Another Late Bloomer
Now 7 years postop
ElderTG listowner

Fionia, you're at a magical age!  Just noting the various ages (when listed) of the folks who've already responded to you, please realize that it's neither too late in life to recognize your true self, nor should you be kicking yourself for not doing this earlier!

I've observed that many people "wait" until their late 40's or 50's to start their public transitions, or, to even come to their own conscious realization.  In our current age, it's often because it's only been fairly recently (the last 10 years or so...) that gender reassignment has become a more familiar thing.   (Not that it IS still yet widely accepted, only that a critical mass of people doing it has made it such that it's no longer such an isolated act).

Many times, it's also because of family considerations - we may wish to wait until parents have passed away, or are so long estranged that our transition no longer would effect them.

As our culture changes and evolves however, it's become easier for folks to realize their options at much earlier ages than it used to be.  The number of folks transitioning at later ages will no doubt decrease somewhat as they will be aware of their options much earlier.  I applaud this change, and am glad to see that folks won't have to wait so long before realizing the options they have.

As is, be glad that you've come to this phase in life, whenever it may have happened, and take full advantage of it as you wish.  Best of luck in your new adventures, and welcome from another new comer here!

Oh, and definitely don't discount that whole "second puberty" thing... regardless of whether you're MTF or FTM, it's a sure reality, and a very interesting one!   


Scott
Mallard500