I've identified strongly as being strongly both male and female for ages now and presenting full time as a bearded lady - some people I'm sure see me as a man in a dress.  I'm feeling my identity is moving away from male My goal with transition has always been to become as close as possible to a bearded lady.  but now comments pointing out my fem side feel so much nicer then the same comment with male leanings eg yesterday I was waiting for the train as 2 teens walked by the male said Hi bro and the female said Hi sis I felt suprised at how much nicer the sis felt over the bro and other times when I've over heard people talking about me "must be the uglyist girl in the world". I have the thought of "well at least they see me as female" I'm not sure if it is an identity shift or an acceptance that 99.9999% of people only see Male and female and if they see me as not male then that is great for me.  what does everyone else think? reviously I prefered the "WtF" comments over the fem comments but now prefering fem comments over the confused comments or male  comments do others get what I'm saying.

Quote from: Kinkly on December 17, 2012, 09:50:24 AM
do others get what I'm saying.

Yes, definitely. I went through a very similar thing, though unlike you, I always had a male presentation. I began to notice that more and more I wanted to be seen as female. Don't know how it will turn out for you. For me, I realized my "core" gender is female and that the male stuff I picked up from having a male body and living in it for so many decades.

I do get this, too. I used to think it'd be okay to be called both girl or boy, it didn't feel like a problem. Now, only half a year later, I feel strong disgust when someone calls me a girl and get all warm inside when people treat me like they would treat a boy or an androgyne.

I still identify as androgynous and feminine - just definitely not a girl/woman. My femininity comes almost completely from my boy side. It's totally possible that the real me just isn't a girl at all, and that was really just a shell.

this is very moving. i understand too

Welcome to the sisterhood Girl, resistance is futile

I think the idea that we should feel a certain way about our genders is an effect from binary thinking.
Which most of the world revolves around.
Nothing wrong with changing your ideas about your gender.
Nothing wrong with changing it back again. Or again.
Without the set of guidelines that are given out for binaries, we don't have set ways or terms.
I hope that we all find what we are looking for, but that's going to change as you discover who you are.
Most of us have to peel back layers, masks, built up facades that we grew up with and into.
It's monumental just to get through that.
Your finding yourself.
What a great thing!
Ativan

thanks 4 all replies.
I suppose it is kinda like the line in "Better then Chocolate".
when as an insult some idiot rough guys call Judy (the Trans charactor) a "dyke" and she replies with a thankyou.

It could be both. My identity has shifted a number of times. I feel so much
better about myself. Many now see me as a woman.

I have progressed through numerous identities/labels. I just keep making steps that feel right to me at a particular time, and am happily becoming more myself with each one.

Z

Hey all im a newbie,
I guess im kinda in the same boat as im such a guy who likes being complimented for feminine qualities but i still love my masculine side.......ive recently moved place and found that instead of the "wtf" comments i get more of a laugh out of people (which im totally cool with because i do dress like an over the top gay boy-george gone bowie type) but its always nice to be complimented on my makeup or my smoothh sexy legs when i go out.

I guess if u get the compliment in the first place its a good thing right?