Back when I started hormones my endo said, "Now I can't make you a woman overnight." I, having somewhat realistic exceptions was fine with that. I'm more fine with it now. HRT might not make you transition over night but going Full Time can!
So on Thursday, the 10th of January at 9:00 I made my cut over. All I really did was get ready for bed that night but given what I was wearing, my male days were over. My first full time day was on the 11th when I got the hair extensions seen in my new avatar put in.
The woman who put em' in was awesome! I was nervous for a moment, after the dye job I thought I looked like Jared Leto from Fight Club (before he got beat up) but then the extensions started going in. I was taking pictures along the way and I love that the first picture I have with a smile on my face that show teeth is when I have some extensions in my hair. This is where we ended up:
I was ecstatic! I don't know many people but I sent out a bunch a messages under the subject, "Now I have Two Birthdays"
The next day my company was having its New Year's Party. As luck would have it, I bought a new dress I thought would be P-E-R-F-E-C-T for it so I decided to go. It was at 6:00 but I needed to go back to the salon to get some education on how to deal with my new lochs at 4:00 then I needed to go to work early cause one of the sweetie girls I work with wanted to do my makeup at 5:00. So, I ended up heading out extra early.
The hair was a breeze though I'll be spending quality time with all the new tooling in my possession. The makeup, I goofed. I got black mascara which lead to a more dramatic look than I was prepared to present. But I still had a really good time. Even talked to HR about one of her old boyfriends. I like girls but I was TOTALLY okay with that!
Sunday was a bit of a downtime day. My SO was having a hard time with everything, which I understood. I also wrestle with wanting be her guy sometimes too. Shoot, when I started therapy I said I wanted to have to put the effort in toward being a guy I was then putting in toward looking like a girl. Anyway, after going out and doing some shopping as a woman by myself, I went back and tied my hair back so my SO could have her guy at dinner that night. It was a strange feeling. I already felt like some kind of specter of a past self moving though the restaurant. Still, I'm glad I did it.
Then came today and my return to work in order TO work. 5:00am I started getting ready. I saw Meghan's post here on how she just got her hair cut short and thought of her right away, understanding the appeal. Washing, oiling, drying then onto makeup and putting on an outfit I knew I'd feel cute in. I then sent off two e-mails: one to my former employer of 7 years and one to a colleague of my SO then changed my LinkedIn profile to Paige. With that, it was off to work, 30 minutes later than usual.
Client had some creative ideas over the weekend and we learned there was some more miscommunication. Freaked me out. So did thinking I heard a mouse in the women's room. I started obsessing about how big my nose felt to me and while I was glad to be there sitting in my skirt, there was a level of discomfort. My facial features feel so darn fierce and chiseled. But I'm only on low dose HRT and will be till' the end of next month. Maybe some fat will start to migrate to a more helpful position after that or something. Maybe not. Maybe I'm stuck. Time will tell, I'm just not even in a place right now to consider FFS mentally. I never even liked the idea of getting my tonsils out! Other than that, BOOBS! I'D LIKE MY BOOBS NOW PLEASE! Tenderness, something!
My co-workers were awesome.
I got a ride home from a co-worker and will apparently be going to play Bingo some Wednesday soon. I felt bad needing the ride, but my SO needed the car today and had to leave it at the apartment, so what was I on the first day of work as Paige? A freaking damsel in distress! At least that's how I joked. Seemed to go over well.
I took off my skirt after getting home and put a pair of women's pants on before heading out to do some grocery shopping. That pretty much brings me to now.
I was inspired by Serena Lynn's FULL TIME ROCKS thread last week and was hopeful, but I just couldn't muster the exuberance she did today myself. I was and am happy, don't get me wrong. I'm glad I get to put on my bra every day now. I'm happy to have my long hair that I can't take off my head. I'm relieved that I can just be me now. It's just, that was a lot to take in all at once!
I hope things settle down now. Graduating Graduate School, getting a new job, my car accident where I rolled the bugger, the BIG coming outs at work and to the family, going full time, all in the last seven months! That's a lot for that amount of time.
