they keep on trying to blame other people for how i am.  They keep on blaming my friends and also blaming the guy that i had sex with 2 years ago saying its all their fault im like this. im like really ready to blow right now. what should i do?

Well, Angelique, your parents don't really know who you are.  Having a gay encounter doesn't make you gay, or trans, or anything else.

The best thing you can do is take a long walk and let things settle down.

I had to take make some changes to your post, so we don't offend anyone, but needless to say, you are a good person stuck in a tough situation.  And you have friends here who do understand.

.

Quote from: muuu on January 19, 2013, 06:39:17 PM
>.<, shouldn't they be over this by now? Or how long have they known?

I don't know how you should handle them, because I never had to deal with these things (I moved out before I came out, my mother took it well and educated herself).

But!
Once things start calming down, I would probably want to try sitting down and talk with them in a calm manner. Tell them you want it calm, no raising voices, no interrupting when someone speaks (maybe hand raising or something), no leaving the conversation and whatever else they could do (same goes for you ofc).
Give them your reasoning for the decisions you've made. If they bring up their fears, listen to them carefully and then try to explain how you feel about it, and possibly why they're irrational.
I guess printing out reading material beforehand might also be a good idea. Something short, describing transsexualism in a good way and being similar to how you feel. There's also some older study about some cell (or something) differences in transsexuals brains (ie, for MtFs they're similar to a females, FtMs they're similar to a male), that could maybe be good to show too.
Like just do your best to educate them, calm their fears and getting your own reasoning out.

This is probably quite hard to do, and you should make a lot of preparations before you attempt it.
If they're still like that after you've tried, then I have no idea...

they been knowing for a year and 6 months. they accept me at times and then other times like when they are having a bad day they bring up stuff like they did today

I only just came out so my parents are at very early stage, but it's the same thing, they want to find an environmental cause...

No matter how much research I present that it's biological!

Have you shown them this?

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn20032-transsexual-differences-caught-on-brain-scan.html

i have had that issue/ still have that issue with my mom and a sister. my dad is great about me now although he use to flip out when he found out in junior high. but the way i deal with it is f*** em. you are who you are. even if you dress as a boy and cut your hair it wont magically make you a boy. i know i got busted by many people that quickly figured out i was trans when i tried being a boy, others who dont understand are quick to judge. its like that with anything though

Quote from: Angélique LaCava on January 19, 2013, 07:24:00 PM
they accept me at times and then other times like when they are having a bad day they bring up stuff like they did today

If they are having a bad day, it might be helpful to ask them how their day went. Your parents are human, too, so maybe asking them about what's going on will help. If they are like my parents--who are conservative, by the way--, then they probably have worries and stresses about who you are and what society will try to do to you. I am far from done with the conversation with my mother, but after talking to me, she at least trusts that I have thought through my decisions and looked down other paths and options. Maybe your parents will need to be similarly reassured? And instead of outright telling them all of your thoughts, let them ask, that way they are listening. When you ask, "What's wrong?" and they eventually get to the , "I'm worried about you..." part, then you know that they are being receptive and ready to listen.

And I have to admit, showing concern for her emotional and physical well-being on the phone seemed to actually make her genuinely happy which is something I rarely hear in her voice. It made me feel pretty good, too, because it helped to close the distance between us.