The only creatures that don't feel pain are University Lectures (ULs). I've made a study of them for the Animal Ethics Unit at my Uni.
They thrive on being ignored, laughed at and subject to ridicule. After a breeding cycle called, 'teaching the topic' they withdraw to cave like structures (an office) where they attempt to regain self esteem and some sense of worth. Finally most go irretrievably mad from pain and abuse and then begin the other part of the life cycle. They become timid and are approached by 'the student' this is a feeding creature that preys on the ULs and tries to talk them into repeating ignored lectures, give out lecture notes and feel sorry for them. The ULs develop a thick skin and then develop "The Exam Paper" this is the beginning of the end of the breeding cycle. Slowly the exam paper formulates and there is often hideous laughter emanating from the ULs who start to see 'The Exam Paper' as a sexual trophy.
Some ULs start to wave their 'Exam Paper' in the air to attract other ULs with sexual stimulating screams of 'Mine is harder than yours'. This may cause both male and female UL attraction, some are envious; usually young males who develop P envy and say strange things such as that is a long one, or look how thick that is!! Female ULs tend to be more subtle with suggestions of leaving particular long and thick P's in their pigeon holes for 'academic interest' with some comment that they will sleep on it.
This is usually misunderstood by all concerned.
The end of the cycle is typified by a subject of some debate: The "Exam Paper" is used as bait to capture 'students' most ULs recognise that 'students' have very primitive nervous systems and feel no pain. However, occasionally they seem to go through defecation and intense crying symptoms; these appear closely linked to 'students' who had high ridicule and boredom responses at the being of the cycle. Most ULs agree that this is an involuntary response that has no physiological link to a 'brain'. Most ULs have difficulty in associating 'brains' with 'students'. Their also appears little behavioural studies to support the concept.
The end of the cycle, usually called 'marking', is a hideous and often misunderstood processes during which ULs develop maniacal laughter and walk in a double over pose holding their stomachs as they attempt to breathe between intense laughter and screams of disbelief. No one seems to understand this phase. Often ULs start to develop a very strong smell of alcohol at this time; it has been suggested as pheromone response to personal failure.
Shortly after this, 'students' start to implode. Often they are 'students' who live up to a life cycle known as 'super cool'. They are seldom seen again and where they complete their life cycle is poorly understood.
ULs also under go transformation, 'successful' ones, and we are unsure what that means, shed their clothing for brighter more striking colours and migrate to larger caves.
What is clear that none of these creatures have a developed nervous system, and do not appear to feel pain. Their responses appear to be pre-programmed and follow a well defined cycle.
Yours
Cyclop Cindy Empress of the Universe - anyone know where my medication is?
