Hello, just wanted to say a bit and to introduce myself.
I am 32, with 2 beautiful girls. My name is Chris, but you can call me Chrissy. and have finally come to terms with who I am and have come out to my wife of 5 1/2 years. To say its been easy would be as far from the truth as you could get. My wife has been a bit on the bipolar side with things and hasn't completely come to terms with the situation and as of this moment, our marriage is going to be ended and we will simply part as soon as I start taking hormones.
I had a motorcycle accident that put me under the knife and made me think and come to terms with a few things. Later I was diagnosed with Bell's Palsey which made me wonder about the outside appearance of my body and how people perceived who I am and who I wanted them to see me as. I came to grips with the fact, that since I was 5 years old, that I have been fighting a losing battle to try and hide everything about me, that I need to be.
Its been a difficult year and I understand the problems that she has had, and I understand the things that come from me doing what I am doing, but she has said on multiple occasions, that she knew it was going to happen. I have fantasized about having breasts, and have even talked to her about the fact that I would wish to enjoy sex as a woman and feel the way a woman does with simple day to day things. I just want to be the woman that I have always wanted, but was too afraid to show, I wanted to be.
I am to say the least very down and very depressed at the moment. I have been on anti-depressants for a couple months and have been sent home from work for a week, to try and deal with the problems. My boss was afraid, that I was simply too suicidal to work. I can't blame her, to be honest, I have had things hidden from me to ensure my safety. Every day is a struggle to survive and every day is a battle to keep from ending my life. My girls are the only thing keeping me to this world.
I am waiting to hear from Sandyford in Glasgow, to try and see someone as soon as possible to start the processes, but have been told that the waiting list is months long, even to see anybody to start anything. But that as it seems is the only way to go at the moment, as I don't have the finances to go private.
