I have wrote about someone at work as far back as I can remember here at Susan's. I know he likes me but I also sense he is confused about how he feels toward me. He has known me since before I started transitioning. But the more I change the more he looks at me. I was play fighting with a coworker and he thought that the guy really pushed me and ran over to him and told him to keep his hands off me. I was not expecting that. They did not fight but it scared me because I had no idea he was going to do that. I was making coffee and looking behind me through the reflection in the window and he was watching every move I make. I acted as if I was going to turn around but did not and he looked away. This bugs me to know he likes me. I don't know why it bugs me. He laughs at every silly thing I do. I almost wish I did not work there because of this. I feel hurt for some reason. Should I feel hurt? All I know is I feel confused about him as well. we have these moments of happiness that spring up between us at work. He looks at me with his smiling eyes and than something hits him and it all fades away and he hangs his head as if to say in his own mind, this can't happen. I feel like I am just confusing him or something. What should I do or not do?

Sounds like hes conflicted. Probably best to give him time to resolve his feelings.
Anyway here is a virtual hug :hug:

Be nice and professional. Don't worry about any potential relationships at work. They usually have unhappy endings. If he has emotional problems, he's going to have to work through them on his own unless he opens up to you. But if he does open up to you, be exceedingly careful. It would be very sad if you lost a job you like.

Cindi

He likes you and doesn't know how to proceed. If you like him and want his attention do what all woman do, through out the bait and let him bite.

Be friendly sit by him over coffee, chat him up so he thinks he is chatting you up. Let him know what sort of things you like to do for leisure, "Oh I really like the movies, I'm looking forward to seeing  *** *****". Yes pretty blatant but guys don't always think very well, particularly when woman are in the equation.

I'd be very careful of play-fighting BTW, it isn't very lady like (sorry ) but can cause conflict among males who may regard 'fighting' of any sort as territorial stuff. If he started to get jealous then it can lead to problems for him later.

I also agree with Cindi, work relationships are usually a disaster.

Enjoy

Cindy

@ cindy james, I'm not lady like you should know that. lol. 
I don't think anything will come out of it anyway. I doubt there wound be a relationship. I think I may just try to over look it all. I not going to play fight anymore either not because I want to be lady like I don't want my emosition tied up in something I'm not ready for. I hope that makes sense. work, work, work only.

I was always given some advice that i think applies in this situation.

"Don't fish off of the company pier"

There are other variations of the same saying, but they exist for a very good reason. It's never wise to get involved with someone at your workplace because of the danger it presents to your job if things go badly. I'm not saying that you are trying to get involved here, but the other person is showing way too much interest. He may be wanting to cast that line.

The danger is that any kind of casual attention that you show to this individual might be construed as interest, and may eventually lead to hurt feelings and friction between the two of you. It could even lead to charges of on the job harassment against you and dismissal if the guy wants to be an ass about it, or management could find out about the "problem" and decide to get rid of one of the "troublemakers". Care to gamble on which one of you it might be?

I think that your best option is to maintain a purely professional relationship with this person and discourage getting too personal. The risks are just too high.

point well taken. I think I will look somewhere else. I need my job don't want to add problems to it.

I am a bit of a romantic and see it differently.  If we don't take risks you will never obtain what we want.  There are ways to keep it professional while getting to know him on an even deeper level and there are solutions to everything if you were to get involved.

Besides if things don't seem like they will work out its easier to put a stop to it asap before it does develop into something more problematic.

I'd side with Riven,

It may not be fair but guess who take the walk if there is any problems, the TG or the non-TG?

Quote from: riven1 on June 23, 2012, 09:09:57 AM
It's never wise to get involved with someone at your workplace because of the danger it presents to your job if things go badly.

Fantastic, common sense advice.

I just wanted to update this thread. This guy became jealous and started picking on me. It got to point that I told my supervisor about it. I found that I was one being harassed by him. They told him that he was not to speak to me at work. Everything was okay for about two weeks and then something happened.

I was putting 4x4's on the stacks of lumber two at a time. I pinched my boob between them and started throwing stuff and holding myself. He thought it was funny and was poiting at me laughing. I walked back in and the guy that runs the machine asked me what happened. It was loud and he could not hear me so I yield, I pitched my tit between the boards. The bodybuilder guy looked over at me and said, "you know I could get you for sexual harassment but I'm not going to go crying like a little bitch." I said, what did you say? He repeated it. I stood there for a second to took off my gloves and went to my supervisor.

I told my supervisor everything and he had me speak to our HR person. She said they had to talk with the other guy and see if he wanted to file a sexual harassment claim against me. I had to wait in the breakroom until their meeting with him was over. My supervisor called me in his office and told me that he denied the whole conversation that we had. I said, what does that mean my word against his? He said hold on we talked with the stacker operator and he said that he could see that you and him were talking and that something up set you and made you leave. They sent him home until a further investigation could be done. That night before I went home my supervisor told me he would not be coming back. They fired him for harassing me.

This confuses me about this. How did he go from liking me to I would say hating me? I did not tell anyone about this liking part by the way and neither did he. He never said he did with words anyway.

Does anyone know if jainie is ok???

DOES ANYONE KNOW HER HER NUMBER HAS CHANGED AND HER LAST POST SAID SHE WAS HAVING TROUBLE WITH ANOTHER CO WORKER

Haven't seen her post on Facebook since the beginning of the month.

sorry everyone about that. I was going through a lot and had no internet or phone still done. Im hanging in there. co work got fired Im still working there. A new guy took his place. He is great. He he says she and her to everyone and corrects others when they say he and him. He told this one guy it was disrespectful of him to refuse to call me she and her. He told this lady after she ask him how he felt working with me. If it wlks like a duck and talks like a duck it is a duck. lol.

well i am glad your ok and safe. When your number was gone i was worried

I havn't been on line much lately, and when I saw your new post it was wonderful news to see you're well and happy.  It brightened my day a little more.   

Hugs, Kathy

Thanks for worring about me and thinking of me. It feels great to know I have people that care for me.