Over the past few months iv progressed a fair bit. I have come out to a few very close friends and my girlfriend. I started dressing and expressing my female side when ever i can at home alone or in private. Not yet in public cause im trying to work on my voice and also its kinda hard to do with a roommate whose not really for this sort of thing.
Im now on to the next step, I have scheduled my first meeting with a gender counselor for next monday. I am reeaally nervous and was wondering should i represent female or male? Can't really go androgynous cause don't have any of the stuff for that look  If i go female should i go all out? Or is it ok to go all the way except for my face and voice or is that just weird to only go part way? Or would it be better to go as male for the first session? Also what sort questions should i ask and what topics should i discuss with my therapist? Anything i should prepare for? I would like to have a really successful first session, any tips advice or info you have would be really appreciated.
Brooke

It doesn't matter. Whatever you are comfortable with. People get hung up over all sorts of items. But there is no race, just be comfortable.

Personally I just go for it and let others worry about stuff.  I don't really care what people think about me, I'm me and it isn't my problem how people perceive me, I can't control what other people think, so I don't let it worry me..

But that is JMO

Oh and CONGRATS

A big step and a very exciting one. Hope it goes well.

Cindy

Wear whatever makes you most comfortable..

Wear whatever you feel like wearing. I know for my first couple of session's I went in guy mode. But after that I went as myself. But I guess the best advice I can give is don't worry about your clothes. Just go in there and open about yourself. There is no need to be nervous.

Congratulations on your progress.  I went to my first couple of sessions in guy mode too, then switched once I was comfortable enough to pesent part time in another city where my GT is based.  Dress however you feel most comfortable.

Your therapist will have heard pretty much everything at some stage so don't feel embarrassed or shy about things. Ask anything you can think of, as their job is to help you work out what questions to ask yourself, and where to find the answers.

Karen.

Thanks for the all the good input so far. Would you be willing to please maybe share some of the questions you asked your therapist on the first visit or even visits after that?

Therapy is an exploration of yourself and therapists will draw out stuff for you to talk about. There are some decisions to be made and one is are you going to be totally and completely honest or are you going to keep stuff back for some reason?

I told my psychiatrist at the outset that I would keep nothing back and I would tell the truth no matter how painful, but that I also didn't know what to say and that I would need guidance. Funnily enough he thought that was a good idea as that was what he had been trained for 

Anyhow it all comes out in the end and a good therapist knows when you are skirting around issues, if an issue or an area is very difficult to talk about , tell them, but let them know it is there. Many of us who have suffered sexual abuse can find that very hard to talk about, we have often regressed it. But it needs to be tackled at some time, no matter what hell it is reliving it.

The therapy sessions are to help you. And that works best if you want to be helped.

I know many of us have been in tears and wrecks during sessions. That is usually a good thing.

What questions to ask? Well besides the obvious like how long, how much, what is the process that is being followed, how are decisions going to be made about my outcomes. Then the questions are up to you.

Certainly in my early sessions I didn't really have questions, I was talking about myself, my life, my feelings and my problems. My therapist asked questions and I asked questions about the questions, both of us seeking clarification of what we meant.

For example; do you think you have a narcisstic personality and life style?  If you don't know what narcissism means ask! Psychiatrists and therapists in general have their own language and meanings need to be clear. So ask.

Also do not be ashamed, you are going to talk about stuff that has created you and how you deal with it. If you are uncomfortable talking about your sexual habits say so, but be prepared to answer why. And in fact take it on board and think why?

Therapy sessions may last a half hour, but that is in the room. If you are sensible about helping yourself, therapy sessions last for life.

You think about what was said, analyse it and think about it, and change to suit what you find useful.

You can take therapy as a 'gate' keeper step. I hate that concept. I took therapy sessions as the 'get rid of the crap that has been destroying my life' step. When I knew how to deal with it I knew it was time to move on;  by some strange coincidence my psychiatrist thought I was ready to move on at the same time that I did. Funny that.

The last piece of advice my sound really really stupid.

Enjoy it. Enjoy talking to someone to whom you can release your soul. Be proud of yourself for doing so. For you are a strong person to face yourself.

Hugs and Love

Cindy

Quote from: Cindy James on January 25, 2013, 01:51:03 AM
Anyhow it all comes out in the end and a good therapist knows when you are skirting around issues, if an issue or an area is very difficult to talk about , tell them, but let them know it is there. Many of us who have suffered sexual abuse can find that very hard to talk about, we have often regressed it. But it needs to be tackled at some time, no matter what hell it is reliving it.

Yes, a good therapist will know when you are skirting an issue.. Our mutual friend is almost clairvoyant at it..

QuoteYou can take therapy as a 'gate' keeper step. I hate that concept. I took therapy sessions as the 'get rid of the crap that has been destroying my life' step. When I knew how to deal with it I knew it was time to move on;  by some strange coincidence my psychiatrist thought I was ready to move on at the same time that I did. Funny that.

And that's exactly what therapy should be about. I've probably spent about 3 sessions talking to the therapist about trans stuff.. The other early sessions were all been about dealing with the crap from my past that I didn't want to keep carrying around with me. These days, our sessions are more of a social catch up.. Sure, when something comes up, we talk about it - but we've done almost all the hard work.

And yes, Cindy, it is kinda funny that he thought you were ready when you did. The same thing happened with me..

Quote from: Kelly the Trans-Rebel on January 25, 2013, 02:06:37 AM
Yes, a good therapist will know when you are skirting an issue.. Our mutual friend is almost clairvoyant at it..


And that's exactly what therapy should be about. I've probably spent about 3 sessions talking to the therapist about trans stuff.. The other early sessions were all been about dealing with the crap from my past that I didn't want to keep carrying around with me. These days, our sessions are more of a social catch up.. Sure, when something comes up, we talk about it - but we've done almost all the hard work.

And yes, Cindy, it is kinda funny that he thought you were ready when you did. The same thing happened with me..

Hi Sis,

He does get some abuse from people but I have to admit I have found him to be excellent!!

What are you up to for the long weekend?

 If you find a very good therapist you will also find a true friend. Then there will be no question or subject of limits.

It is very important to be comfortable in your therapy sessions. If you are able to be relaxed and comfortable the conversation will flow naturally. I don't think for the first session you should worry about what to ask, or what not to say. Just be yourself.

BTW OP, Love the name! Good choice.