Hello. I go by Lydia. I'm new here and I thought I'd share a bit about myself.
I'm 19, m-f, been on HRT for about 3 months.
The desire to be a girl has been on my mind since about 9; prior to then gender identity never really occurred to me. It grew from a curiosity to an obsession over the years, eventually putting me in a deep depression throughout my adolescence. Started crossdressing around 14 to take the edge off. The whole thing was pretty cheap. I mean, nothing fit worth a damn, it was from my mother's closet. I used a $14.99 party store wig, and I had water balloons as breast forms. But it was enough for the moment. Ended up coming out to my parents when I was 15; they have since been apathetic at best, in general unsupportive and denying. They'd yell at me for even thinking about it. I had no friends, never really have. Nobody to talk to. Deeply depressed, I often, painfully, secluded myself from people. I'm a freak, a burden, a worthless wretch nobody wants anything to do with. I was always alone. I continued on a downward spiral until I moved to school, 800 miles outside of my parents' control. The week after, I completely changed my outward appearance to resemble a gothy girl. I began expressing myself freely, something I had never done. Made some friends, started doing things rather than sit around. I got to know myself for the first time. It was the best feeling of my life. I took the name Lydia, a name I've always liked, and the name of my friend who gave me the courage to open up. So here I am, far from home in a large college city, on the road to becoming who I was meant to be. I know it'll be long but I'm pretty excited. In the meantime I pass as either gender, depending on where I am and the level of effort I put in my appearance.
