I went to see my counsellor a couple of days ago. It was the second time I'd been. The first time was with my wife and it did NOT go well. So then I went by myself and it was a load better.

Anyway, early on in the second meeting my counsellor (who's been dealing with TS's for more than 20 years and is very well-respected in the community) said, 'I knew you were transsexual from the moment you walked through the door.'

Well, I still present as male, and I don't act remotely femme, or even androgynous, so I was surprised and asked her how she could tell. She said, 'It's the eyes.' Then she laughed (kindly) and told me how she and one of her girls had been chatting about 'Trannie Eyes' just the other day and saying how there was a certain look all MTFs had. My counsellor said, 'It's like looking in the mirror and seeing two people reflected. Every so often you can see the other person, the woman who's trying to get out, popping up and saying, "I'm here!!"'

Well, it made me think. So can any of you girls spot another transsexual by the look in her eyes? Or anything else, come to that ...

Its weird cos two different people have decribed seeing that same thing in me, and I didnt know what they were on about..i guess there is some truth in that after all.

I think you can tell a lot by the eyes...and it seems it's not merely the very subtle eyelids/surrounding area, but THE EYES themselves.

You can look towards someone across the street, and they towards you--look near them, but not at them--and you won't get any sense "OMG he/she's seen me!" But look them in the eyes, and you will get a "spidey sense" that they have seen you in the eyes.

Much more personal. Some form of telepathy? I don't know. I also know that animals don't like being looked at in the eyes. (probably for the same reason)

That's an interesting theory I have always thought my most feminine feature was my eyes. But I can see what she saying about seeing two different people I see that in the mirror all the time. I can look in the mirror and see my feminine features some times and other times all I see is masculine.

It's called plucking your eyebrows. 

Quote from: Tesla on February 01, 2013, 08:04:54 AM
It's called plucking your eyebrows. 

You might have a point.

The saying that "the eyes are the window to the soul" has much truth in it.  When you have a conversation with a person close to you, you want them to look you in the eye (most of the time) so that you share the meaning behind the words you speak.

Quote from: Heather on February 01, 2013, 08:09:11 AM

Quote from: Tesla on February 01, 2013, 08:04:54 AM
It's called plucking your eyebrows. 

You might have a point.

Eyebrows should be arched, not pointed.  (Unless you're Vulcan)

Quote from: Tesla on February 01, 2013, 08:04:54 AM
It's called plucking your eyebrows. 

Same thing I thought.

My therapist said almost exactly the same thing to me at the end our first appointment... about seeing the inner woman peeking through.

Lately I've noticed other people seeing her, too. Feeling properly mirrored is the shiznit!! ..incomparable to any other feeling when becoming who you really are.

...and a Cloud Atlas quote for you...
"We define ourselves by the way others perceive us." -Somni 451

No. And I live in a large city with a large number of MTF trans (preop & postop).

If someone claims to be able to tell by just looking at your eyes, they are full of applesauce. 

Quote from: Carlita on February 01, 2013, 06:27:35 AM
Anyway, early on in the second meeting my counsellor (who's been dealing with TS's for more than 20 years and is very well-respected in the community) said, 'I knew you were transsexual from the moment you walked through the door.'

My therapist told me something like this in my first session...but considering she advertises herself as a gender therapist I never really thought it was all that impressive of a guess on her part. I looked at it as an attempt to build a connection with me to put me at ease in my own feelings so that I could open up about it. Or maybe I'm just overly cynical.

Anyway, I don't think you can tell how someone's brain is wired just by looking into their eyes. I almost always know what someone is feeling when I look them in the eye, but it's usually in general terms. I suppose if a male-presenting person had a bunch of feminine mannerisms plus an anxious-sad-detached look in their eyes I might make some assumptions, but there would probably need to be more context.

"->-bleeped-<- eyes" WTF..I would have drop the "respected" therapist a "granade" if she had said that to me...

Sounds hokey to me.  Anyone going around gazing into stranger's eyes actively searching for clues that indicate a transsexual nature is almost certainly picking up on a thousand subtle cues simultaneously, at both a conscious and an unconscious level.  To then try to convince herself that it's the eyes alone that tipped her off when she guesses correctly seems like a crude oversimplification at best.

But just in case, I think I might consider trading in my sapphire blue contact lenses for mirrored lenses instead.  Just sayin'.

Hugs,
Miharu

It does kind of make me wonder if that's how I got outed in the military. Landed in mental health over severe depression, not saying a word about the gender thing, and he nailed it anyway. Although that could be chalked up to the fact that so many people get in, then try to get out by saying they're gay, bi, or trans. He may have just not seen any obvious queues of the latter and banked on trans.

I think it's possible to spot someone that way, but it's got to be in the right context. I'm thinking it's less of a trans eyes and more of a "i'm hiding something" eyes. They probably just combined the fact that they could tell you were hiding something with the fact that you were showing up for therapy. Or it could just be a confidence booster they use, to kind of say "yep. i knew you weren't really a <insert gender>" once you come out with it.

I do not have "trangender eyes" more like "bitchy eyes"....

Quote from: peky on February 01, 2013, 11:44:40 AM
"->-bleeped-<- eyes" WTF..I would have drop the "respected" therapist a "granade" if she had said that to me...

Actually, the phrase came from her transsexual former client, now friend ...

But on the subject of that 'other person', ever since she said that thing about the two reflections, I've been more and more conscious of the other me that's finally being let out, now that I've fully accepted my need and desire to transition. Poor old girl, she's been locked away for so long and she's screaming for her freedom. For the first time in my life, that old saying - cliché? - about 'a woman trapped in a man's body' is making sense as part of my own experience ...

Quote from: Carlita on February 01, 2013, 01:24:24 PM
Poor old girl, she's been locked away for so long and she's screaming for her freedom. For the first time in my life, that old saying - cliché? - about 'a woman trapped in a man's body' is making sense as part of my own experience ...

If you start hearing voices in your head, and she's telling you to do stuff.... trust me on this, seek immediate medical advice.

(Sorry, stupid joke.  The voices in my head made me say it.)

Miharu

Quote from: Carlita on February 01, 2013, 06:27:35 AM
I went to see my counsellor a couple of days ago. It was the second time I'd been. The first time was with my wife and it did NOT go well. So then I went by myself and it was a load better.

Anyway, early on in the second meeting my counsellor (who's been dealing with TS's for more than 20 years and is very well-respected in the community) said, 'I knew you were transsexual from the moment you walked through the door.'

Well, I still present as male, and I don't act remotely femme, or even androgynous, so I was surprised and asked her how she could tell. She said, 'It's the eyes.' Then she laughed (kindly) and told me how she and one of her girls had been chatting about 'Trannie Eyes' just the other day and saying how there was a certain look all MTFs had. My counsellor said, 'It's like looking in the mirror and seeing two people reflected. Every so often you can see the other person, the woman who's trying to get out, popping up and saying, "I'm here!!"'

Well, it made me think. So can any of you girls spot another transsexual by the look in her eyes? Or anything else, come to that ...

Kia Ora Carlita,

Some say :

"The eyes are the windows to the soul/spirit !"

You might find this interesting...Research findings from Sweden...

"Patterns in the iris can give an indication of whether we are warm and trusting or neurotic and impulsive, research has found."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-436932/Scientists-discover-eyes-really-window-soul.html#axzz2Jg4kc4yi

Metta Zenda

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