see, i have two uncles who are intellectually disabled, everyone else in my family knows and is supportive and uses the  right pronouns, and my chosen name. since my grandfather has be very ill and has just passed away. my family and i have kinda just been letting it slide when they use my birth name and female pronouns. now that my changes are becoming more obvious and my uncles have started to notice my voice i feel we have to tell them. has anyone else had to deal with this or have some advice on how to go about it?

any ideas are appreciated thanks

I explained trans to my class of middle school intellectually disabled kids. Not for me as I am not out, but I have a student who I believe to be trans (mtf). I used terminology I kind of thing is very simplistic and would use only advisedly-- something like "boy's brain in a woman's body" thing. That some people are born this way and that there is nothing wrong with it. My students seem to understand this.

There is a LOT of difference in ID people, some are much higher and my students are not very low. So it is going to be different with very low level people who might just take this at face value. One of my students is autistic and has been calling me "sir". I approve of him, that this is fine with me, but the others students correct him, and I tell him as long as he is respectful I don't mind. Some ID people are going to take this at face value and not really worry about it.



--Jay

I suppose it would depend on the type or level of intellectual disability. Often I think intellectually disabled people understand a lot more than we give them credit for. I have no idea what your uncles are like, but I'd probably just try to explain it to them like you would any other family member, and just expect that it may take a bit longer for them to switch over to the correct pronouns and your new name. 

I also have an intellectually disabled uncle (I have no idea what he has, he was born back in the days where it was taboo to admit a child was born that way, so the story from all the old folks is that he was never the same after being hit by a car, or others say he was never the same after being electrically shocked), I am not out to my family but I would expect that he'd eventually get it. He just often likes to repeat stuff multiple times to others, so I could imagine him saying to other family members "S's name is Henry now, yes, she says she's Henry now."  That would go on for maybe a few months until something else gets stuck in his mind. I think if I started medically transitioning, the "he" and "him" may eventually just fall into place.

learnerdhand, your uncle sounds similar to one of my uncles in the fact that he repeats almost anything and everything to almost everyone he meets, the term my grandmother used to use was mental retardation. my other uncle was exposed to german measels while in the womb and was born partcaly deaf and a bit slow, and almost drowned as a child wich is the cause of his disability, im not really concerned with explaning to him as he would understand it more than the other

My older brother grokked it just fine when I simply told him "I'm a boy now and my name is whatever." You really don't have to get much more detailed.

Quote from: tvc15 on February 02, 2013, 08:40:58 PM
My older brother grokked it just fine when I simply told him "I'm a boy now and my name is whatever." You really don't have to get much more detailed.

Depending on the level that might really work well. Just like with kids, you only tell what you need to. You could start there and if you get more questions you answer a bit at a time. As with the one student of mine, he seems to accept me as male without really being told.


--Jay

I just let them lead. A lot of times they don't even have any questions. Sometimes they have really blunt and even hurtful questions but at least they're honest.

The biggest thing to remember with mentally disabled people is to never under estermate them! In my experience (and that's 20 years working in the disability industry) they understand more than people think. It's all in how you say it. Keep it in simple language for them to understand. This still could take awhile before they get the hang of it, seeing that everyone has different problems with their disability with different mental ability's>

Just say some people gets born alittle diffrent, so there men but insteed of being born in a guy body there been born in a girl body, yet the brain is still male.
something like this.
now I dont know which grade they have disability, but I known alot of people with disabilitys as I grew up on special schools and comunety in general, I havent found it more troublesome than to lets say regular people to let them understand". the people who are hardest to tell and gain understanding from is casual adults who is stuck up in there own belife or role on hetronormative sociaty not handicapped or children, which usunally people tend to worry most about.