When I was younger, in my twenties and early thirties, I was read as male a lot. Sometimes it only lasted while I kept my mouth shut. Sometimes it killed me to say anything because I wanted to dream for a little while.

Waiter: What can I get for you gentlemen?
Me: Uhhhh...
My Partner: I'll have a patty melt with no onions and a Coke.
Waiter, to Me: And you, sir?
Me: Uhhh <clears throat and half whispers> baconburgerandacoke.
Waiter: Oh, I am SO sorry, ma'am.

Quote from: Arch on January 30, 2013, 08:41:31 PM
When I was younger, in my twenties and early thirties, I was read as male a lot. Sometimes it only lasted while I kept my mouth shut. Sometimes it killed me to say anything because I wanted to dream for a little while.

Waiter: What can I get for you gentlemen?
Me: Uhhhh...
My Partner: I'll have a patty melt with no onions and a Coke.
Waiter, to Me: And you, sir?
Me: Uhhh <clears throat and half whispers> baconburgerandacoke.
Waiter: Oh, I am SO sorry, ma'am.

People have never actually done that to me, but I was/am still shy about speaking up so I'd always agree with my dinner partner what we wanted and then he'd do the ordering for both of us. lol.

Quote from: Frank on January 30, 2013, 11:28:37 PM
People have never actually done that to me, but I was/am still shy about speaking up so I'd always agree with my dinner partner what we wanted and then he'd do the ordering for both of us. lol.

But isn't that so...emasculating?!

It's funny. So many guys I know worry that they will be the one in a thousand (or however many) that T doesn't really work for (I worried about this), but then we have populations of guys who expect to turn into Charles Atlas or, on the flip side, body-hairless perpetual twentysomethings who never lose their hair or have high cholesterol or look even remotely middle-aged. We're all over the map.

Quote from: Arch on January 31, 2013, 12:16:26 AM
But isn't that so...emasculating?!

It's funny. So many guys I know worry that they will be the one in a thousand (or however many) that T doesn't really work for (I worried about this), but then we have populations of guys who expect to turn into Charles Atlas or, on the flip side, body-hairless perpetual twentysomethings who never lose their hair or have high cholesterol or look even remotely middle-aged. We're all over the map.

If it is, I never noticed. 

I forgot to add a while back, my dad was bald in his twenties and never really complained about it. He just shaves it all off every once and a while. (He gets a monk ring of baby fuzz.) So arguing whether transmen are justified complaining about side effects or not is a bit moot since everyone will be different, even cis baldies.

Wait. What is this thread even about anymore?

Quote from: Arch on January 30, 2013, 08:41:31 PM
Waiter: What can I get for you gentlemen?
Me: Uhhhh...
My Partner: I'll have a patty melt with no onions and a Coke.
Waiter, to Me: And you, sir?
Me: Uhhh <clears throat and half whispers> baconburgerandacoke.
Waiter: Oh, I am SO sorry, ma'am.

I've had that happen a few times. I always just correct them for ma'aming me.

Whole Foods:
Staff: Do you have any questions about the wines, sir?
Me: (Turning around.) Sure.
Staff: Oh, I'm so sorry, ma'am. How can I help you?
Me: No, you got it right the first time. Sir. I'm looking for a Syrah.
Staff: (Smiles awkwardly.) Oh, sorry about that. [wine talk resumes].

It has been way more fun this way. Haha—and I've yet to encounter someone who wants to argue with me about which it should be.

I've gotten the "air...OH MA'AM I AM SOOOO SOOO SORRY!!" One time I did say "no, you were right, it's sir" and the woman got upset. =/ Like, as in she felt really guilty for not knowing.

Quote from: Caleb. on January 31, 2013, 02:54:38 AM
I've gotten the "air...OH MA'AM I AM SOOOO SOOO SORRY!!" One time I did say "no, you were right, it's sir" and the woman got upset. =/ Like, as in she felt really guilty for not knowing.

Hee... That's HER problem.
So far, I've been really nice about it and I'll laugh with them.

The other day Kaiser called me and the agent on the line kept adding ma'am to end of every sentence so I finally said, hey, if you have to be formal, I get it, can you just use sir? Or better yet, just use the first name.  She was like, Oh... Uh... Okay...

Quote from: ford on January 30, 2013, 07:49:08 PM
Gosh you all are lucky. My voice is a dead giveaway. So unless I can figure out how to remain completely silent all the time, I'm not really sure how to pass at this point.

I remember the first time I heard Justin Beiber's rapping over the radio. I seriously thought for a minute that Pink had written a really bad song until someone said, no, that's that new kid...

Anyway, his voice is still high. Sometimes, they just have high voices...  My voice was pretty high in my opinion before T (it's dropped a bit) and sometimes I got away with it.  It's changing way faster than I thought—I almost feel too lazy to talk now because I find myself suddenly having to work on sounding clearer which requires more energy.

Quote from: Tejas on January 31, 2013, 02:53:00 AM
I've had that happen a few times. I always just correct them for ma'aming me.

Whole Foods:
Staff: Do you have any questions about the wines, sir?
Me: (Turning around.) Sure.
Staff: Oh, I'm so sorry, ma'am. How can I help you?
Me: No, you got it right the first time. Sir. I'm looking for a Syrah.
Staff: (Smiles awkwardly.) Oh, sorry about that. [wine talk resumes].

It has been way more fun this way. Haha—and I've yet to encounter someone who wants to argue with me about which it should be.

I do this too  It's amazing though how many people express loud disbelief, open confusion, frustration at me for confusing them, or even begin to argue with me once I've let them know they were right the first time.  I can't believe so many people are unable to control themselves in an awkward or unexpected social situation and just roll with it. I think it's the double blow of confusion - they think they're right then they think they're wrong and then they're told they're right but they think YOU are wrong.  They don't stop to think that someone can't actually be mistaken about their own gender

I have to keep reminding myself that this is a big event in their day, meeting someone who doesn't fit their expectations of gender, and stop myself from getting angry or upset, because it happens to me all the time.

Quote from: Arch on January 31, 2013, 12:16:26 AM
It's funny. So many guys I know worry that they will be the one in a thousand (or however many) that T doesn't really work for (I worried about this)

This is what I worry about. What if I never look like a guy?

Quote from: Edge on February 02, 2013, 08:32:55 AM
This is what I worry about. What if I never look like a guy?

If you talk like one it might not matter as much as you think. A deep voice and a male name can be powerful cues.

I know a couple of guys with perfectly respectable tenors who sound great. Every once in a while, they complain that T hasn't done what they had hoped. Inwardly, I roll my eyes...and then, sheepishly, remember that I still hope for my own baritone to go deeper.

It's not unrealistic...

I'm male.  I need to live in a male body.  End of story.  Coming up on 5 years for me and zero regrets.  It's amazing waking up and feeling at home in your body.  Gray hair? Baldness? Beer gut?  Bring it on.  I'd rather be an ugly old man than a gracefully aged beautiful woman.

At this point, I couldn't just 'go off T' anyway, nor would I ever want to subject myself to estrogen again.


Jay

Quote from: Felix on February 02, 2013, 04:14:28 PM
If you talk like one it might not matter as much as you think. A deep voice and a male name can be powerful cues.

This.  I have met many cis males over the years that are quite effeminate in features, and I'm not talking about stereotypical gay men, either.  These men have softer, rounder features, baby faces, and have been confused for women. Some tend to have bigger moobs as well.  All have just shrugged it off when it happens and state confidently hey, I'm a guy, name's Joe or something similar.

Any trans guy who would stop T because he's gotten too hairy, lost some hair, gotten too deep a voice, or otherwise obviously knows nothing about being a man. I've been on T for over 3 years, and had to go off for a year; no thank you! Are there really guys out there sufficiently naive that they would undertake such a transition without being informed as to what the attributes of their target gender are?

Quote from: Luc on February 03, 2013, 08:49:29 PM
Any trans guy who would stop T because he's gotten too hairy, lost some hair, gotten too deep a voice, or otherwise obviously knows nothing about being a man. I've been on T for over 3 years, and had to go off for a year; no thank you! Are there really guys out there sufficiently naive that they would undertake such a transition without being informed as to what the attributes of their target gender are?

Hey, I know a guy that stopped after 3 years and after being post op top and bottom. He's more than happy in how things panned out. Maybe people would consider him "vain" for not wanting to lose his hair but he's comfortable with himself, isn't that what matters?

Quote from: Nygeel on February 03, 2013, 09:50:24 PM
Hey, I know a guy that stopped after 3 years and after being post op top and bottom. He's more than happy in how things panned out. Maybe people would consider him "vain" for not wanting to lose his hair but he's comfortable with himself, isn't that what matters?

So...he's on estrogen?

Quote from: Arch on February 03, 2013, 09:55:03 PM
So...he's on estrogen?

He still has ovaries.

That doesn't mean that they work...but since you said he was post-op, I thought he didn't have any of that stuff anymore.

Quote from: Arch on February 03, 2013, 11:09:45 PM
That doesn't mean that they work...but since you said he was post-op, I thought he didn't have any of that stuff anymore.

They do work. He had phallo and thought it through.