OK, I seem to have gone in the space of a few months from 'I wonder if I'm an androgyne', to 'I'm pretty certain, it fits so many things about me that seemed confusing', to 'I know, why don't I tell my boss'.

Anyway, finally did tell him after some office conversation focused on codes of behaviour when going out with 'the boys'. It was... pretty terrifying. I've  been saying to myself that I need to gradually mention it to a few people I work a lot with, but this was the first time I've dared say anything beyond 'you know, I've never felt particularly feminine, nor particularly masculine for that matter'.

I ended up working up to it, and saying it on messenger (such a wuss, didn't think I could manage face to face), and beginning by asking him if he was aware of himself as being a man and if that coloured how he interacted with people, and eventually explaining that for me, being female just isn't part of my self and how I see the world, and gendered conversations are pretty mystifying for that reason, and finally just giving up and outright telling him.

Now a bit shaky and hands are all sweaty... he actually seemed pretty cool with it though, which is a relief. I don't actually want anything different though; I'm fine with my body and i don't really care about pronouns, I just wanted to be able to stop keeping quiet about my reactions and opinions when people have gender based conversations.

Anyone else managed it? Anyone else similarly scared and wussy, and tried to dance around things without using the word Androgyne?

Anyway, not sure if this was the right decision or not, am second guessing myself now, but... I've never been someone who could keep quiet about things, or someone who would just go along with things to please the group, and keeping quiet feels deceptive and somehow wounds my sense of integrity.

Bit of a rambly post there, just wanted to share with someone!

I know how you feel. it took me a few months before getting the guts to come out to my brother, it was quite difficult and i too was shaky and nervous. I just told him I was trans* but didn't really identify with being either male or female since trans* seems to already be so alien and misunderstood to most people and androgyne is even further removed from our standard cultural model of gender relations.

I have similiar feeling about pronouns, I don't really care at least not yet, I am happy with my body in as much as it's the only one I've got but I would like to change it to fit my own perception of beauty for myself. But it is a nice feeling to tell someone in RL about how you feel for me it validated all my internal experiences and made being trans-androgyne more real. But with that putting myself out there does cause some mild discomfort as I put my inner self out there for someone else to interpret as they will. but sharing my personal experience gave me an ally in all those strange moments where we divide on gender lines, no longer do i (AMAB) have to feign interest in football while standing around a barbecue like men are supposed to and my brother is able to help me out in those uncomfortable situations.

so in the end congrats on telling someone because it is really nice to not feel so alone in non-cyber daily life, and hope you find the space in the world for to blossom into yourself!

Hope you don't think this is too forward but...

*hugs*

Because it's a hard time and I understand what you are going through.  As I've also recently learned - you gotta be you...


I'm fairly new here too *looks around* but everyone here seems nice -  I've been Androgyne on the inside for around 2 years now, and I'm just starting coming out to people...

*hugs*

I like hugs - hence the name!

Definitely telling someone is a pretty good feeling.
Having it all bottled up inside just makes to many situations difficult.
Having someone or several people who know how your RL pretty much goes, makes it easier to bounce things off of.
I was uncomfortable about it the first time.
The other people who know, it just came up and I just offhandedly said I was.
It wasn't a big deal, I think it threw them for awhile.
They caught on to it without having to do to much explaining.
Ativan